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Asparagus vs. Celery: The Debate Over the Taste of Cum...

Guest derekcoltn

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Guest derekcoltn

I know this may be an absurd topic to bring up here, but since we always have such great input on even the strangest obscurest kinds of stuff, I decided - nothing to lose but my self-respect, so why not?


Having had this question come up in various conversations with friends over the years, I've never really delved into it enough to arrive at a definitive conclusion. Just how does one improve the flavor and aroma of one's manly fluids? I've been told that eating celery is a good way way to go, having something to do with triglycerides, I guess. I've also been told that vegetarians have the ability to produce a cleaner, almost minty flavor due to the lack of animal proteins and laboratory-produced agricultural hormones. Is this really the case?


And, of course we all know about the reputation that asparagus has in affecting certain other...er, bodily emanations...effects that are not exactly aromatic or pleasing. Does asparagus have the same affect on semen? Is this an entree accompaniment to be avoided on a hot date? Are there other foods to watch out for as well?


I am hoping that others reading this might be able to shed some light on this either from medical/nutritional expertise or even from plain old-fashioned experience. I would love to know both for personal and for professional reasons. Being an escort, I have always tried to plan ahead for all contingencies when setting up a prospective date. I like to make sure that all the details are taken care of, so that I don't have to worry about it, whatever may come, so to speak. Obviously, I like to "serve up" an appetizing evening, and just as with great cuisine, that includes visual presentation, flavor and aroma. Good conversation is also an important part of it, but if it don't taste good, I don't want it in my mouth! :)


Anyone with any information about this, or any experiences to share? Please reply, because I think a lot of people (both escorts and their clients) could do well to benefit by it. Thanks!


Derek Colton (San Francisco)


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Guest Tampa Yankee

LAST EDITED ON Oct-04-00 AT 01:04AM (EST)[p]LAST EDITED ON Oct-04-00 AT 01:01 AM (EST)


This post takes the cake for the funniest and most entertaining post of the week by far. ROTFL!!!! Thanks Derek.


> Just how does

>one improve the flavor and

>aroma of one's manly fluids?


How cum this question hasn't arisen before now??


> I've been told that

>eating celery is a good

>way way to go, having

>something to do with triglycerides,

>I guess.


I knew celery had to have some use!!



>I've also

>been told that vegetarians have

>the ability to produce a

>cleaner, almost minty flavor due

>to the lack of animal

>proteins and laboratory-produced agricultural hormones.

> Is this really the



I can see the escort adds now...


5'10", br, bl, smooth, cut, 7", versatile, minty flavor...


or maybe listing the 'flavor of the week'


>And, of course we all know

>about the reputation that asparagus

>has in affecting certain other...er,

>bodily emanations...effects that are not

>exactly aromatic or pleasing.


Er, uh, excuse me, are you confusing asparagus with beans and brocoli?? Maybe it is in the genes -- I've never noticed. :-)

>Does asparagus have the same

>affect on semen?


You mean does it make the prostate fart?? LOL I imagine that would be uncomfortable...



>this an entree accompaniment to

>be avoided on a hot

>date? Are there other

>foods to watch out for

>as well?


The following is only speculation...


garlic except when seeing an Italian

ginger except when seeing a Chinese/Indonesian

ludafisk (sp?) except when seeing a Scandanavian


the list is probably endless...


By coincidence this topic came up in polite discussion

I had last week. I was informed that lots of coffee with lots of sugar produces sweet semen -- I had no reason to doubt the source (pun intended). As for me, a buttery/oil taste except I don't eat butter or much fat at all, except for one tablespoon of flax seed / safflower oil combination daily for the efa's. That's probably it.


>I am hoping that others reading

>this might be able to shed some

>light on this either from medical/nutritional

>expertise or even from plain

>old-fashioned experience.


Seems like a double-blind study is called to get to the bottom of this question... not exactly kosher given today's safe sex recommendations -- just one more clash between sex and cuisine.


> I would love to

>know both for personal and

>for professional reasons. Being

>an escort, I have always

>tried to plan ahead for

>all contingencies when setting up

>a prospective date. I

>like to make sure that

>all the details are taken

>care of, so that I

>don't have to worry about

>it, whatever may come, so

>to speak. Obviously, I

>like to "serve up" an

>appetizing evening, and just as

>with great cuisine, that includes

>visual presentation, flavor and aroma.




I see a good book here --

'Eating Your Way to a Flavorful Ecstasy'


> Good conversation is also

>an important part of it,

>but if it don't taste

>good, I don't want it

>in my mouth! :)


You try have good conversation with your mouth full -- where is Miss Manners??


>Anyone with any information about this,

>or any experiences to share?

> Please reply, because I

>think a lot of people

>(both escorts and their clients)

>could do well to benefit

>by it. Thanks!


See above.


Thanks Derek Colton (San Francisco) -- you have a future in stand-up. I think I'd pay to see you standing up or not, either way it seems like a fun time.


Political correction statement:


No insult to any particular culture, nationality , or group was intended -- just good not so clean fun. It's late, I'm going to bed.

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All you have to do is show up with that awesome smile and I could care less what you ate :-)~



one of your adoring fans.

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Better yet, I'll personally feed you celery and sushi the next time we are together ;-) But then again, you always taste good :-)

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Tampa, as a Norwegian, I can advise that if semen tasted like lutefisk (dried cod, soaked in pungent lye, than ostensibly rinsed before ingestion, we would all be straight.

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Guest Tampa Yankee





If Jerry Falwell only knew this secret...we'd all be saved:-)


You make it sound more appetizing that it looks. :-(

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This is a very funny question and one worth discussing. I have heard that green and red seedless grapes are also good for this problem. And there are plenty of those in the bay area.


Based on the pics of the gorgeous Derek Colten, I would be willing to guess that he tastes just as sweet.

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Guest Zach Man

I complimented on the sweet taste of my sperm quite often. Here's my trade secret--I shove a Tic Tac down my piss slit a few minutes before cumming.

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Guest Dr. DG

Believe it or not, I have had this question asked by my patients many times--and I am no longer in private practice! Since my husband is a urologist, I asked him the question and his response is:


Asparagus is rich in an essential amino acid known as asparagine, known to be rather pungent and acrid to some palates. Many other foods are rich or poor in various nutrients, which when combined with the individual man's unique biochemistry may react quite handily to produce what Samantha on "Sex in the City" referred to as "funky spunk". (What a show, huh?) No two individual men have the same "taste" for that reason, but I would challenge you to find any clinical literature on the subject!


Funky spunk could be the result of bacterial infection of the prostate, bladder or urethra. It could equally be the result of individual nutritional components, various drugs (I remember smelling the amoxicillin my mom gave me for strep throat in the urinal at school--WHEW! It stunk!) and other factors which may or may not be within the control of the man involved. It is true that semen contains sugars, proteins and other essential elements to get the sperm moving. But the individual taste is just that--individual. As for putting tic tacs in your urethra--not a good idea since the ingredients of that confection may cause problems. The menthol in various mint flavors (e.g. peppermint, spearmint) and other essential oils (wintergreen, etc.) are known irritants. Additionally, there is the chance that your urethra could be blocked by that solid object remaining in place until there is sufficient fluid to dissolve the sugars within the tic-tac. Please--for your own sake--and to avoid the embarrassment of answering the emergency room doctor as to what the hell you were doing with a peppermint candy up your piss slit--don't do it!


You must also remember that the urinary tract is the primary place where the body rids itself of excess chemical waste and this may affect semen consistency, color, quantity, taste, etc.

So, if you will, since they come out of the same hole--the taste of semen may be equal to the taste of the man's urine.


So, to sum it up--your semen may be what you eat--but not completely. The processes that contribute to the fluids that represent the components of semen are equally influenced by internal factors that vary highly from man to man, so outside of any serious clinical research on the subject there is no recommendation that I can make.


Back to my husband:


Well--there you have it from Dr. Penis himself. If I had anything to add I would. Interesting subject, though!


Thanks for listening and keep playing it safer!


--Dr. DG

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