From The Real: Does Your Relationship with Your Parents Affect How You Love Your Partner?

[+ MysticMenace]

Healthy love usually begets healthy love, so we’ve got to know: Did you have examples of healthy relationships growing up? Did it affect how you love your partner?

 

[CuriousByNature]

Healthy love usually begets healthy love, so we’ve got to know: Did you have examples of healthy relationships growing up? Did it affect how you love your partner?

 

Mine were married for 43 years, and I think it was codependence rather than love that held the marriage together. My mother was a dominant and self-centred person, while my father was bitter and angry. Nevertheless my siblings each got married, and seemingly happily. But I knew at an early age that I did not want to end up in a similar situation as my parents, so never went down any route that could potentially lead to courtship, dating or eventually marriage. This wasn't difficult because from an early age I was taught that I was nothing special, so when my friends were all starting to date, I had already concluded that nobody would be interested, and the fear of rejection and humiliation paralyzed me. I often wonder if my parents had been more loving with each other, whether or not my own view of marriage might have been different. Other traumas certainly had an effect on shaping my solitary existence, but perhaps things could have been different. Anyway, time cannot be turned back.

[+ MysticMenace]

[+ MysticMenace]

Mine were married for 43 years, and I think it was codependence rather than love that held the marriage together. My mother was a dominant and self-centred person, while my father was bitter and angry. Nevertheless my siblings each got married, and seemingly happily. But I knew at an early age that I did not want to end up in a similar situation as my parents, so never went down any route that could potentially lead to courtship, dating or eventually marriage. This wasn't difficult because from an early age I was taught that I was nothing special, so when my friends were all starting to date, I had already concluded that nobody would be interested, and the fear of rejection and humiliation paralyzed me. I often wonder if my parents had been more loving with each other, whether or not my own view of marriage might have been different. Other traumas certainly had an effect on shaping my solitary existence, but perhaps things could have been different. Anyway, time cannot be turned back.

 

but does not mean there is no more time to change course. hope u do find the love u are looking for and deserve

[CuriousByNature]

but does not mean there is no more time to change course. hope u do find the love u are looking for and deserve

That's very kind of you to say, and I appreciate it. However, I've never started looking, and have grown quite accustomed to being alone and not anticipating any romantic connections. It's not a bad thing, just different from most people's experience. I have wondered what it might be like to experience that level of connection, but thinking of myself in any type of romantic relationship is like thinking of myself as being from another planet - a completely foreign concept.