Not Confirming

[IYH99]

I scheduled with someone for today (I’ve seen him before). We discussed time, but both agreed we’d confirm the day before. I texted him last night, and once again this morning (was supposed to be a late morning appointment). Am I in the right not to go? At this point, I probably wouldn’t even make my train to get there on time, but am looking for validation.

[+ FrankR]

I scheduled with someone for today (I’ve seen him before). We discussed time, but both agreed we’d confirm the day before. I texted him last night, and once again this morning (was supposed to be a late morning appointment). Am I in the right not to go? At this point, I probably wouldn’t even make my train to get there on time, but am looking for validation.

You don’t have a confirmed appointment - why would you go? If he does not respond to your texts, nothing more you can do unless you have an alternate way to contact him, but it sounds like it is too late anyway. ??‍♂️

 

I suggest a nice brunch (including a bloody mary) to take your mind off of it. ?

 

I hope he gets back to you and that he has a good explanation; reliable repeat business pays...

[rogerG]

When I book a massage at my gym, no one has ever asked me to confirm. They have a policy, if you need to cancel, you must do so within 24 hours of the appt, otherwise they charge you for the hour. I often book a week in advance because I need a specific time, and I've come to know how popular that time slot can be.

 

I never understood a need to confirm an appointment with one man working on one table, although some customers seem to have a constant issue with commitment.

 

The act of confirming is added work for both parties. Depending on schedules, it can create a lot of back and forth, most of which should be unnecessary. Maybe for certain customers confirmations are necessary. If I were a MT therapist, I would be turned off by a customer asking for a confirmation call. It would suggest to me that the customer is a flake and not reliable.

 

However, if the MT agreed to a confirmation and he failed, then you being a no show should not pose a problem. In a perfect world.

[IYH99]

When I book a massage at my gym, no one has ever asked me to confirm. They have a policy, if you need to cancel, you must do so within 24 hours of the appt, otherwise they charge you for the hour. I often book a week in advance because I need a specific time, and I've come to know how popular that time slot can be.

 

I never understood a need to confirm an appointment with one man working on one table, although some customers seem to have a constant issue with commitment.

 

The act of confirming is added work for both parties. Depending on schedules, it can create a lot of back and forth, most of which should be unnecessary. Maybe for certain customers confirmations are necessary. If I were a MT therapist, I would be turned off by a customer asking for a confirmation call. It would suggest to me that the customer is a flake and not reliable.

 

 

I typically would agree. He confirmed the first appointment we had, and when I scheduled earlier in the week, he said he would confirm everything the day before. Most massage appointment I've had involved some sort of confirmation, but I don't personally need a reminder (I'm not forgetting I have one scheduled. Haha.).

[RickD1980]

I often check in with my massage therapist the day before because there are some who don't confirm. However, if you aren't getting a response at 9 in the morning, that could be for any number of reasons. It's possible that your MT

1. might not be awake yet

2. might be with another client

 

And that's just three reasons I can think of off the top of my head.

 

Also, how late last night did you send your message?

 

Keep us posted! I'm eager to know what happened.

[+ WestGuy]

I usually confirm with my regular masseur the day before, or a few hours before on the day of the appointment. Things can happen; calendars can get messed up. For me it is no big deal to send him a quick text just to make sure we are good to go.

 

In your case, I agree with the other posters that you didn’t have a confirmed appointment and therefore no need to go.

[LookingAround]

Confirming is critical for independent masseurs. This week I had an appointment I had made 2 or 3 days in advance. He said he would text me when he was leaving. He didn’t text so I texted him. “I just woke up. I knew I was forgetting something.” Dealing with a private individual isn’t like dealing with a spa. You do need a confirmation.

[MRJJ]

Confirming is critical for independent masseurs. This week I had an appointment I had made 2 or 3 days in advance. He said he would text me when he was leaving. He didn’t text so I texted him. “I just woke up. I knew I was forgetting something.” Dealing with a private individual isn’t like dealing with a spa. You do need a confirmation.

For me it depends on the massuer. I see some that are really organized, and keep an up to date calendar. Some others are more scattered and I need to confirm 24 hours ahead of time. Like anything else, it depends on the individual.

[Onamission]

Agreed. My masseur actually confirms with me. I get a text early in the morning the day of my appointment from him confirming time. He has never once cancelled on me or even been late. Runs it like a business, which is how it should be. But not all are like that.

[IYH99]

Yeah, normally he confirms the day before. I realized I hadn’t heard from him yesterday, so I texted him around 6:30. Still haven’t heard back, so I just hope he’s ok.

[Guest fm0322]

I scheduled with someone for today (I’ve seen him before). We discussed time, but both agreed we’d confirm the day before. I texted him last night, and once again this morning (was supposed to be a late morning appointment). Am I in the right not to go? At this point, I probably wouldn’t even make my train to get there on time, but am looking for validation.

 

Confirmed or not an agreement was made for a service. It is my position that if I have made an appointment it’s on me to show up. If I can’t show, I need to take the step of rescheduling. Regardless of the agreement, I would have shown up. And it’s equally his responsibility to be there if you have made an appointment and he did not cancel it.

 

The agreement to confirm is a red herring unless there is some reason to make a contingency plan. For example, he rents a room and must confirm its available. Or you have a work schedule that can change our on short notice. Absent that, I agree with others that adding a confirmation is an unnecessary step.

[MRJJ]

Confirmed or not an agreement was made for a service. It is my position that if I have made an appointment it’s on me to show up. If I can’t show, I need to take the step of rescheduling. Regardless of the agreement, I would have shown up. And it’s equally his responsibility to be there if you have made an appointment and he did not cancel it.

 

The agreement to confirm is a red herring unless there is some reason to make a contingency plan. For example, he rents a room and must confirm its available. Or you have a work schedule that can change our on short notice. Absent that, I agree with others that adding a confirmation is an unnecessary step.

If an agreement was made to confirm, I would want confirmation before I trek all the way down to see someone. Most of the masseurs are not that local to me, so it would be a big inconvenience for me to travel only not to have an appointment. Just my 2 cents!

 

@IYH99 - I agree that if he usually confirms, I would be concerned that something is wrong in this circumstance. Hopefully, all is ok.

Edited August 29, 2019 by MRJJ

[relax man]

I will chime in with others and say that in my opinion, making the appointment IS the confirmation. Why do it again?

 

Also, I get super annoyed when a masseur asks me to reach out again closer to the appointment to confirm. I don’t need additional confirmation; if you do, then you take it upon yourself to reach out to me.

[northend_stv]

I’m on Team Confirm, mainly because I showed up for an appointment once and the guy didn’t respond to my texts. I ended up booking with someone else, and later masseur #1 texted and said he step late (l have my doubts, but whatever). I mainly send a message a few hours before the appointment “just confirming for XX:00 today”, so I don’t end up waiting in a parking lot again.

[510guy]

So looks like by now hours later he still didn't respond so looks like you were right in not going and something came up.

 

I have never run across this issue, don't know what I would do.

[Massageislife]

I will chime in with others and say that in my opinion, making the appointment IS the confirmation. Why do it again?

 

Also, I get super annoyed when a masseur asks me to reach out again closer to the appointment to confirm. I don’t need additional confirmation; if you do, then you take it upon yourself to reach out to me.

Yeah, one of my commitments to m4m the massage process is to treat it like the legitimate profession it is but isn't always regarded so. The appointment itself should suffice. I've confirmed with a few guys that I worried about, but even then I felt like I was condoning flaky behavior.

[Terpmaniac]

I will chime in with others and say that in my opinion, making the appointment IS the confirmation. Why do it again?

 

Also, I get super annoyed when a masseur asks me to reach out again closer to the appointment to confirm. I don’t need additional confirmation; if you do, then you take it upon yourself to reach out to me.

Agreed. I made the appointment. He excepted. Gave me the address. I don't need a confirmation. Its done. Terp

[IYH99]

We were able to communicate further. He had an unavoidable situation occur, and he was extremely apologetic about not being able to reach out to me sooner. Thank you, all, for your input.

[+ oldNbusted]

Team Confirm.

[+ EVdude]

Since I am almost completely incapable of commitment and planning, 90% of my massages, spa or private, are same day setups. For the private sessions, once they are set, I always text the masseur saying I’m on the way. This might be annoying to some masseurs but it’s paid off on numberous occasions with the masseur saying he’s either ruining a little late or it’s okay to arrive early.

[MRJJ]

We were able to communicate further. He had an unavoidable situation occur, and he was extremely apologetic about not being able to reach out to me sooner. Thank you, all, for your input.

Obviously, you made the right decision. It’s not just the preference of whether we feel one should or should not confirm. Since you had a regular practice of confirming with this provider, you were right in questioning the appointment since he did not confirm with you as usual.

[rogerG]

I get super annoyed when a masseur asks me to reach out again closer to the appointment to confirm. I don’t need additional confirmation; if you do, then you take it upon yourself to reach out to me.

That's exactly right. Asking (forcing) the customer to work harder for his appointment can produce negative results.

 

I understand why popular restaurants require confirmation. Profit margins in the food business can be tight, and many places can't afford to tolerate no shows/empty tables.

 

My doctor's office calls with a reminder a day or two before my appointment. However, it takes six weeks to get an appointment, so they assume that some people forget in that amount of time. Also, the office is very popular. They book patients every 15 minutes, and they're always running behind. Their goal is get everyone in, so they don't like it when a slot time goes empty. They view that as bad for other patients.

 

Other than that, I make other appointments but I can't think of another business that asks for a confirmation call. The appointment made is considered the confirmation to be there.

[rogerG]

Since I am almost completely incapable of commitment and planning

lol. I did mention there were those.

90% of my massages, spa or private, are same day setups

I'm the opposite. I need to book at least a week in advance.