Sticks and Stones

[+ Lucky]

As we grow older, we learn that words are just that and don't take so seriously the flinging of a slur our way. But the media never seems to know what the right way to handle the situation is.

 

Recently, a Virginia Senator was called to task for using "the n-word." The media graciously stepped over the word itself allegedly to protect sensibilities.

 

But today's New York Times freely uses the words "fag" and "faggot" in an article about the sad case of the 15-year old midwest boy who shot his school principal to death for failing to protect him from bullies taunting him with these very words.

 

So it leads to the question: Why is it okay to say fag and faggot in the newspaper, but not ####? Shouldn't the first two be "f-words" as well?

 

Post comment: I guess even Daddy thinks fag and faggot are okay, but n------ is not!

[Guest alanm]

You make a great point.

 

My guess is that the N word is closely associated in most people's minds with the Klan and the 1000s of lynching that took place in the south and border states until recently. The news media and others are linking Senator Allen's love for the confederate flag and a hangman's noose with his possible use of the N word.

 

As an aside, it doesn't help that the two most talked about (and not in a positive way) gays in America right now are two politicans (Mark Foley, Jim McGreevey) who would still be in the closet if they hadn't been caught. I understand that both men thought they could not succeed in politics without staying in the closet. But, their actions make it more difficult for us to complain about words in the Times, unless it's to make a case for why Foley and McGreevey were in the closet in the first place.

[Samai139]

I didn't read tne NY Times article, but I'm not at all surprised that they flung the "f" words around, but avoid "N----" like the PC Plague.

Not sure how we got to this point. I find the N word abhorrent and understand the horrors it dredges up when used---lynchings, social, economic, educational segregation etc.. I'm happy it's no longer acceptable; but I'm puzzled that it's all right to use the "f" word (and here I am referring to "fag" and/or "faggot") almost everywhere. Teachers rarely, if ever, correct students when they throw the word around; "gay" is used as a putdown and insult with hardly any repercussions.

The only explanation I can come up with is that "mainstream" America or sociey in general, just cannot accept the fact that people who are attracted to members of the same sex are just as "normal" in nature as people of colour; people with disabilities; people with beautiful faces and figures; and people who are plumb ugly. If my memory is correct, it was Western Europeans after the Renaissance who condemned any non-heterosexuals to "hell." It may take another 500 hundred years to work our way out of this purgatory.

Perhaps it would help our cause if WE were less quick to throw "sticks and stones" as well. There have been many instances of really nasty comments directed at posters because they happen to have a viewpoint, opinion, taste, that was different from the "thrower."

As they say---"charity (meaning love) begins at home."

[Showtimems]

As one who has been on the receiving end of both slurs, I can tell you they both hurt, deeply. Equally? I can't say. What is extremely perplexing to me is that there are gays who have been discriminated against for being gay, are not hesitant to discriminate against someone of a different ethnicity or race or use the N word. Likewise, there are African Americans (and other minorities) who will readily discriminate against someone because of their sexual orientation and regularly use the F word. IMHO all such derogatory slurs should be treated the same - print and publish them when quoting somone who used them, but not in general writing or reporting.

[danknight2005]

Dan Knight 2005

 

Sam, your last paragraph is so true. THe nasty comments and pure hate thrown at posters on this board by othr posters simply because their beliefs and views are different is disgusting.

We as gay people should be some of the most tolerant and respectful of others people on the planet.

[Louis]

Its people who used such words and who discriminate who are missing out on life. If they were not so narrow minded one of their best friends could have been of a different race, or could be gay. So who's missing out...those who discriminate. I have been very fortunate to have friends who are of another race than myself, and I also have a few gay friends. Those friends have added a lot to my life, and my life has been enriched because of them, so I actually feel sorry for people who have racial or sexual hang ups. They are missing out....

Louis

[Samai139]

Dan--Couldn't agree with you more. As a gay man who endured the extreme homophobia of the McCarthy Era, I cannot comprehend how a gay person in the 21st Century can be a bigot---people of other races, cultures, religions can offer so much to us----oh, and lest I forget---the derogatory remarks about "fatties" "femmes" and other less than perfect characteristics also put me off--probably because I'm far from perfect myself. Look beyond the exterior---you will find some "gems."

[RockHard]

"But the media never seems to know what the right way to handle the situation is."

Can the media ever replace a great teacher or a good parent?

 

"Why is it okay to say (write) "fag" and "faggot" in the newspaper, but not "(n)igger?""

It seems each newspaper has its own policy and context always matters. Since you didn't post a link to the article, it's difficult to address your citation fairly.

 

I believe the staff of the NYTimes had much to say when its newspaper quoted Bush saying "shit" at the recent G8 Summit. Andrew Rosenthal told me it's the first time the word "shit" appeared in the NYTimes. Many on the inside were not pleased.

 

"I cannot comprehend how a gay person in the 21st Century can be a bigot"

Life is not black and white and nor is language. Not all epithets share the same invective qualities every time they are used. And far be it for me to compare slavery and the Civil War to Stonewall. Context matters.

 

To fully enjoy a Katt Williams show, one must accept his use of the word "(n)igger" as a form of loving endearment. He's not recommending white men use it in the same manner. The word "fag" holds the same right-of-passage status among homosexuals.

 

Words have different meanings at different times, depending on usage and context. Only a small mind could see all usage as the same.

[Louis]

very true.. for example, there was a chubby girl hanging around some gay friends in the apartment building I used to live in, and I asked them why the girl was chumming with them. Their response, "she's a fag hag" Never heard of that before. But the point I am making is that things have to be taken into context. What is acceptable in one situation may not be acceptable in another.

Louis

[Guest ReturnOfS]

>

>You make a great point.

>

>My guess is that the N word is closely associated in most

>people's minds with the Klan and the 1000s of lynching that

>took place in the south and border states until recently. The

>news media and others are linking Senator Allen's love for the

>confederate flag and a hangman's noose with his possible use

>of the N word.

>

 

The N word is associated with even more horrors than the Klan and Lynching. It brings back the memories of slavery where people were owned; families were torn apart; men, women, and children were worked long hours with no pay and no good living conditions; men, women, and children were hunted down and punished like dogs when they tried to escape; men, women, and children were crammed together and died while being transported over oceans; every day you were not respected, and neither were your mom, dad, brother, sister, elder, husband, wife, and children. My main point is that the N word is an extremely loaded word.

 

Its also important to remember that it isn't gays versus Blacks or other minority groups. Gay people are Black, White, Hispanic, Asian, others. Being gay doesn't exclude a Black person from getting called the N word, or any other gay ethnic or racial minority from being called a slur. Being Black and gay doesn't exclude you from being called a fag. You can be a person and called all of those things: fag, fat, n word.

 

No offense meant to alamn or anyone. Thats just my two cents into the topic.

[+ Lucky]

"Since you didn't post a link to the article, it's difficult to address your citation fairly."

 

Umm, duh! The context is stated: The kid allegedly killed the principal because he ddin't protect him from being called fag and faggot.

 

BTW, I thought you didn't read my posts!

[RockHard]

"Umm, duh! The context is stated: The kid allegedly killed the principal because he ddin't protect him from being called fag and faggot."

Umm, duh! Paraphrasing is not an intelligent way to seek thoughtful commentary on any serious subject. If you're too lazy to supply a precise quote or, better yet, a link to the article, your responses are likely to be as limp as your query. Anyway, elevating a gay man's struggle to that of the Black American male is about as self-absorbed and insulting as anything Tom Isern has to offer. Last I heard, gay men volunteer to be slaves.

 

"BTW, I thought you didn't read my posts!"

Sweetheart, you're not that important to me, which is why I said, "I, for one, will not miss any of Lucky's useless contributions here." Any does not assume that all your posts are useless, but most are. Furthermore, my eye catches the subject first before I notice who the author is. I guess you could say Lucky got lucky. :-)

[AdamSmith]

This tit-for-tat puts me in mind (again) of something Samuel Johnson said:

 

A fly may sting a stately horse and make him wince; but one is but an insect, and the other is a horse still.

 

For no particular reason, another of Dr. Johnson's remarks also comes to mind:

 

A man may be so much of everything that he is nothing of anything.

 

:+

[RockHard]

"A man may be so much of everything that he is nothing of anything."

 

Well, off this board, I'm pretty well defined but this particular Johnson quote reminds me of this figure of speech: "Jack of all trades, master of none, though ofttimes better than master of one."

[Samai139]

I'll fall back to my comments of September 30, and hope, just hope, that WE can be more respectful of ALL people, whether we agree with their comments or not. Brings to mind this quote: "I may disagree with what you say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it."

[RockHard]

"I'll fall back to my comments of September 30, and hope, just hope, that WE can be more respectful of ALL people, whether we agree with their comments or not."

I hate to appear less than positive but don't get your hopes too high, Samai139. In order for a call-for-respect to work, it must command a two-way street. And without expert moderation, we will always have to deal with hateful-gay-cunts who think it's "their right" to say to another member: "Do you read? I can’t believe you would ask such a stupid question. How tone deaf are you? Pull your head out of your ass."

 

There are a few well-known posters left on this board who "get off" on being rude and disrespectful. Why Daddy permits this nonsense is beyond me. One might think that a new sex-toy, I mean boyfriend, from ManHunt would make a megalomanic-bully less angry and hysterical. Think again. Since she can't make any money hookin', she's got plenty of time to share her foul-smelling breakwind with us.

 

Good luck with your search for nirvana. Getting two gay men to agree on the same hair gel: worthless.

[dannyrossmoore]

If you want to see intolerance and hate of other people just because their opinions on some issues differ from that of the poster, just go over to the Politics and Religion Board here and read for a few minutes. Quite sad.

[+ Lucky]

"I'll fall back to my comments of September 30, and hope, just hope, that WE can be more respectful of ALL people, whether we agree with their comments or not."

I hate to appear less than positive but don't get your hopes too high, Samai139. In order for a call-for-respect to work, it must command a two-way street. And without expert moderation, we will always have to deal with hateful-gay-cunts who think it's "their right" to say to another member: "Do you read? I can’t believe you would ask such a stupid question. How tone deaf are you? Pull your head out of your ass."

 

There are a few well-known posters left on this board who "get off" on being rude and disrespectful. Why Daddy permits this nonsense is beyond me. One might think that a new sex-toy, I mean boyfriend, from ManHunt would make a megalomanic-bully less angry and hysterical. Think again. Since she can't make any money hookin', she's got plenty of time to share her foul-smelling breakwind with us.

 

Good luck with your search for nirvana. Getting two gay men to agree on the same hair gel: worthless.

 

I see that Rock Hard is signed in. Welcome back.We are looking forward to your posts...I think.

[Guest greatness]

Actually

 

Daddy seems to handle things well here. We get constant new reviews here 5 days a week (very diligent) and he handles disputes well too. I would like to call him Anna Wintour of the escort business or better. I would like to show my gratitude to Daddy for his hard constant work here.

 

I like Lucky too. When I first joined here I thought Lucky was in his 20s because he is so energetic, confident, active and passionate about various subjects. (That's why I find him so hot) However, I think he is misunderstood by some people. He just let people know what he thinks and I like that very much. I don't think he is controlling or trying to force his opinion on others. If he did he would not have lasted 10 years here. Actually he likes everybody here. That is why he is actively conversing with others and sometimes I get private messages from him. He once picked out an avatar for me. Although the avatar was a bit scary for me but I really appreciate him for doing that. He is so cute. Let's accept each other and give people here the benefit of the doubt.

 

"I'll fall back to my comments of September 30, and hope, just hope, that WE can be more respectful of ALL people, whether we agree with their comments or not."

I hate to appear less than positive but don't get your hopes too high, Samai139. In order for a call-for-respect to work, it must command a two-way street. And without expert moderation, we will always have to deal with hateful-gay-cunts who think it's "their right" to say to another member: "Do you read? I can’t believe you would ask such a stupid question. How tone deaf are you? Pull your head out of your ass."

 

There are a few well-known posters left on this board who "get off" on being rude and disrespectful. Why Daddy permits this nonsense is beyond me. One might think that a new sex-toy, I mean boyfriend, from ManHunt would make a megalomanic-bully less angry and hysterical. Think again. Since she can't make any money hookin', she's got plenty of time to share her foul-smelling breakwind with us.

 

Good luck with your search for nirvana. Getting two gay men to agree on the same hair gel: worthless.