Interestingly more than one escort has pulled the sane thing in me. The first time it happened it took me by surprise as he suddenly got on the floor, kneeled in front of me and asked to be punished. Consequently, I had absolutely no time to think about how I might want to approach the situation.
I simply went with the flow and he gave me enough signals regarding what he wanted. I think the PK advice is about on target. Less is always more and I found that a firm whisper in his ear worked fine. Examples: “You wanna lick the sweat off my balks... right?” “You wanna choke on my cock?” “You want me to torture you... and you’re gonna enjoy it... right?” Etc. He will most likely tell you and signal exactly what he wants and how far he needs to go.
Regarding items that you might bring in addition to what was already mentioned... obviously a belt... and grab a few clothespins for use on his nips and other more sensitive body parts as you probably don’t have any clamps on hand. Remember even if you don’t use them... they can be used to threaten him... and that is something subs often like. The buckle end of the belt is a good example... seriously that would cross the line, but it may give him a thrill to be threatened with it. Obviously that is not where you would start, but something to consider. Of course your hands can work to slap him as well. Plus, you hopefully also have teeth that are not of the artificial variety to use as well. Start working his nips with your fingers, then nails, and then teeth. They usually drives them crazy! Anything csn be used to improvise a blindfold and many guys like to be surprised. If in a home setting ice cubes can provide an interesting effect. Plus, look in the kitchen drawer and a bunch if items will offer other possibilities...
It might also be good to use a safe word or words at first. I usually hate the pink and red colors that are used to signify close to not liking it and then stop. They are mood breakers and sound silly to me, but they are often the universal codes that are used along with yellow, orange, and red. I told the guy to say he was “on the edge” when he come close to reaching his limit. It was so cute how be kept repeating the word “edge edge edge edge” when that happened. At that point you can threaten him with something more intense... yes a nice guy can get away with it if said in the correct way. When he refuses you then cuddle him and say,”I wanna take good care of my boy! I only wanna do what my boy wants and needs! I would never force my boy to cross the line!” That will inspire confidence to further trust you. It might not happen that session, but perhaps your next time together. Of course he may surprise you and want to take things to the next level. As long as he makes the first move go for it. Otherwise err on the side of caution! One more thing... often subs will yell that they want you to stop, but really they want more... that’s where the safe word comes it.
The best BDSM tops are really the proverbially nice guy. That is how you come across here @Keith30309 and I am sure that is your persona in real life. It’s is indeed all about the sub having trust and confidence in the dom... and it is always easy to trust a nice guy! Remember the cardinal rule is that THE BOTTOM IS ACTUALLY IN CHARGE regarding how far the action proceeds. The worst tops are in it for their own pleasure. The top must realize that part of the pleasure he gets is from knowing that he is satisfying the sub at the level that the sub needs and wants even if it means that he has to back off a bit on what he would like to administer.
I hope this helps, do enjoy, and a report would be interesting!
