tenderloin

To me it is all a matter of timing: when the pro let's me know with some notice (at least a few hours) I think it is acceptable. Over the years, I have had three occasions where the person just didn't show - no text, no notice, no nothing. Recognizing that escorts are human, too, I do think it is reasonable to hold them to a higher standard with regard to cancellations -- after all, they are the professional service providers, we are the customers. Like it or not, when you are in a service business, you've got to be flexible, patient, and forbearing. If you can't be, you are in the wrong business.

If they are good questions, there is no problem with him asking. This is a discussion board, after all.

As a client, let me offer a more precise definition: as a general rule, I think a BFE is at least in the offing when 50% or more of the session involves the escort doing something other than trying directly to get me off, and that time is both pre and post nooky. That could consist of: talking, hugging, caressing, kissing, watching TV with his head on my chest, napping together etc. What is it not? When the guy walks in, drops his pants and bends over, or starts to jerk you off while you are still trying to get your shoes off. I've had a few of those.

Mocha - With respect, I don't think you are doing yourself any favors here. As a man twice your age who probably makes more than you do, I can tell you that the anger and resentment you are exhibiting here would make me think twice before retaining your services. I think that any business man can benefit by trying to understand the perspective of those with whom he is doing business. People are not reaching out to you to make reservations at a restaurant. Many of the people reaching out to you are in the closet, or "out" but scared of exposure for doing something illegal, or worried that you are actually a cop, or worried that you are actually a thug who is trying to take advantage of closet queens to rob them, blackmail them, or harm them. Understanding and empathizing with your potential client pool will win you a lot more business than dismissing and insulting them will. Just a point of view from an old, affluent fucker.

Mocha, allow me to add something from the client perspective: - if you look at many many escort ads, certainly the lion's share of Backpage and Adam4Adam, they say "same day appointments only" or "don't contact me if you are not ready to play" or something to that effect. I have tried from time to time to make some advanced arrangements with those guys, and i get shot down. So us consumers can find it difficult to know which way to go. - If a sudden window opens in my schedule (my plans fall through and suddenly I am free tonight and feeling horny) would you rather that I not contact you, even when your rentmen ad says "available now"? Should I assume that "available now" does not mean that you are available now? - sometimes my plans change in the other direction - I thought I would be free, or I didn't know I would catch a cold or that a blizzard would strike. I have been occasionally treated rudely by guys I have cancelled on (giving as much notice as possible) because of changing circumstances. It's like the advanced plan commits me by contract. - As to why we use email rather than phone: I may be showing my age, but to me email is somehow less intrusive and interrupting than a phone call. If you are, indeed, on line and "available now" it is reasonable to assume that you will read your email. If you are in the middle of a meal or a workout or an appointment, i assume you won't read your email (and therefore are unlikely to be "available now.") None of that excuses people who just stop communicating. But I hope the above offers some perspective you didn't have.

I reached out to him on RM and he never replied

Best thing is to be EXPLICIT re your expectations -- think about yourself like a porno director: "I want to top him while you suck his nuts...I want lots of sloppy wet three-way kissing...I just want to watch...etc." As long as both guys are specifically comfortable with your vision, you should be in good shape.

Saw Tommy Deluca at the Columbus Circle mall in NYC a few years back. He was talking on the phone while sitting in a public area wearing t-shirt and shorts. I sat opposite pretending to read my phone - he must have realized that I was sitting there drinking it in, but he didn't seem to mind. Even with baggy shorts, each time he moved it was obvious that he had a lot going on downstairs. On my list....

I am wondering the same thing. Seems too good to be true, which nowadays makes me nervous. Anyone?

Thanks so much for that memory. You stirred up mine: when I was a kid in the 70's, Time Magazine used to run ads for Jockey shorts with pix of lots of different guys (including Jim Palmer) in their underwear. I used to study those photos, comparing bulges and admiring treasure trails, for hours. I never had much doubt that I was gay, but those ads sealed the deal. To this day, I will ask an escort to hang around a while in his jockeys, then let me have the pleasure of peeling them off. LOL