DALE CRUZE

Honestly, it should be the one that feels right for you. As long as you're not snide or "take it or leave it", you shouldn't have to be self conscious about a response. Btw the guy you referenced in the other thread is a schmuck. He will have his comeuppance.

i like number 3 becuz i will tell u why... first off its cool to keep communication open with the client. u never know what can develop and just becuz the client cant afford your rate today doesnt mean that they wont be in a better financial postion at a later date. also you can make a deal with the client to help you with reviews if they like ur services. thats a huge deal...its hard to get clients to take the time to post reviews. a client can help u in other ways also . i have some that have access to hotel points and i work deals with them when i come to town. so just becuz a client cant match ur rate in that moment doesnt mean u have to be a butthole about it. work thru it. be flexible

He's hardly "meh"-looking! Though very pricey, if the ad stats and pictures are correct, and if he's fully "interactive", he could be a good meet for a trust-fund type! The lack of "into"s is a concern and might be his way of getting out of certain requests

i laugh at guys who charge more than 400 or 500 for a session especially an escort. sorry fellas but there is no damn body worth paying that much. Hell i can find hot construction oilfield workers hung like a horse in midland texas on Kik that will fool arounf for FREE if u provide the hotel room, beer, smokes and a damn good blowjob. I've had them even offer to SPLIT the hotel room. and i will put one of them up to the finest escort (who is probably a big women anyways) you can bring me every day of the week. 500 bucks for some self indulged latin NON-lover of nobody but himself, LMFAO hell no. it aint happening. i got a latin for ya who has a beautiful body and an 11 inch dick and can lite up a room with his smile and personality. NOT 500 bucks either. if ur interested HMU and i will gladly give u his numero !

Atlanta was never a favorite of mine. I learned the hard way on my 1st time ...eagerly (and foolishly) took a trip out there and prepaid for 3 days hotels. Not a single booking followed thru.

 

Wiser and smarter years later, I’ve passed thru Atlanta over the years, but usually avoided stopping over unless I had a confirmed appointment. Which was usually never. There’s nothing different in the water there, it’s just an overpopulated City with so many options for penis, and men in general...it creates a cannibalistic market. Then again, that’s many areas becoming. There’s no room to stand out because everybody is trying to do the same thing. Like @hypothetically said before, the whole online sex work thing is “the thing” right now.

 

I remember years ago, Denver had like 10 escorts. Next thing I know, there’s 50. Since when?????

 

One of my former clients moved out to Atlanta from Colorado Springs, and he’s been telling me despite having endless options for Black dick, the overall “hunt” is a bit of a circus.

 

I can feel your frustration though. There’s certain cities that do it to me, I call them high cities, because trying to do business with them gives you high blood pressure.

 

Are you based in Atlanta or just visit there?

i lived there years ago when it was a cool ass "town" before the 96olympics and Crack and sadly AIDS . it was the BEST ! but something bad took hold , Atlanta is struggling to grow up and wanting to be a world class city so so bad. Everything u said is true!! . Just to visit, i like it and it's nice and i can ignore all it's defects. but to WORK there is CRAZY !!! turn ur fone off

Good One !! ???

Back in Atlanta again and i swear this has got to be the most Annoying city To do massage in. Many of you may know the curious and crazy behaviors that seem to plague Atlanta And I have posted about such in the past. But let me give you some examples. If you’ve seen my profile or my massage ad then you know I am a simple person and fairly vanilla. I try to be as explicit as possible about The sessions I offer. So why then do I get texts overwhelmingly like these ? Is it something in the water in ATL ?

1. Hello. What do your calves and feet look like? What size shoe do you wear? And, what would your hourly out-call rate be for someone to JUST massage your legs and feet while you wear shorts and a t-shirt? NO = nudity? Can you share a pic of your calves and feet? Thanks.

2. Saw ur ad , interested in deep massage. Mostly bottom here major kisser, like rimming, getting fkd, curious about try spanking—both spankin a guy and getting spanked. Libra guy in west midtown host or travel. Very laid back easy going discreet guy.

3.

Im anxious to hear your side of the argument as to why not . Why does a client not have the right to shop around and find exactly what they want . Put all the naïveté and marketing bs aside please cuz that was a mis characterization of my statement. Please elaborate on your argument. ?

I know i will prolly get ridiculed for making this statement so before i do let me qualify it first by saying There are so many ways of doing a session. Whether it is an escort vs. masseur keep in mind that you have every right to get exactly what you desire and should definitely “shop” around before making a decision. Having said that just remember that this shyt aint rocket science and sometimes you may not even know what you TRULY like or want until u have experienced it for the first time and then all of a sudden, something clicks and ur saying to yourself, “hey...i really dig that and wanna try that again!”

So here goes my very watered and oversimplified analogy of the difference between an Escort vs. Masseur ...

With an Escort - the client controls the session / with a Masseur- the client gives up control of the session to the masseur .

Now before some of you get ur “panties” all in a bunch on this , (lol) ? hear me out .

When i first started doing massage 10 years ago , i was so green . I was scared i would make a mistake . I kept trying to figure out what the client wanted . And after i had seen a number of clients it became apparent to me these 3 things:

1. The client wants to let go and relax and not think about much in a massage . They want you to give their body the attention it needs and deserves without having to be a director. They seldom want chit chat during that period . Just make them feel good

2. The massage client is quite often in a relationship or situation where they are neglected physically. ie- married to female , stagnant boyfriend, or maybe they have a job that is strenuous or where they are constantly having to make important stressful decisions all day and for the duration of the session they just want to let go~feel pampered and be self indulgent on a small quiet scale.

3. Sexual arousal is okay but is not paramount & often “my” clients are more interested in a little frottage or in some cases not even that. And it’s okay ? as long as they leave feeling better mentally and physically...mission accomplished. A release at the end doesn’t really even amount to what i would define as sex. Thats also a very physical way of releasing tension. So it does complete a very good sensual massage in a positive way .

Now this is strictly my own views and i know i am not nor do i pretend 2 B an expert in all things “massage” but i have been doin it a long time and i have asked many questions thru the years.

At one point i did post an ad on Rentmen. And this is how i came to my version of the differences between the two .

Practically EVERY client that contacted me from Rentmen had specific requests and interests and what they expected out of a session. And that is OK too !

But the client is still in control .

Now some will say, “Hey wait a minute, I want to be a sub and I’m looking for somebody to dominate me and tell me what to do!” And you might be thinking well the client is giving up control of the session in that scenario!!

Not so ... The client is still determining what he wants/gets from the escort. And if that client goes into the session and mrEscort X doesn’t perform in exactly that manner, guess what ? The client most likely will end the session early . Still the client is in control .

That’s not to say that a client wouldn’t walk out of a bad massage early also. But the only time I’ve ever had that happen is when a client came to me for a massage mistakingly thinking that I was an escort posing as a masseur . Anyways i dont give bad massages !!

Also, I do not advertise anymore on Rentmen so that clients don’t see me playing different roles and getting confused about the services that I offer.

I know some guys do both, and I am not in anyway suggesting that there is any thing wrong with that. But I prefer for myself the energy exchange between me and the client through the healing power of a massage.

I connect better in that situation. And I like to stay in control.

What can I say? I guess I’m a control freak. ??‍♂️

Now, have my massages sometimes resulted in some hot intense sex? Yes of course . But again I like when things unfold naturally regarding sexual contact. I’m not the kind of person that makes a laundry list of requirements prior to sex.

I also found out about myself very quickly after I first started doing massage, that I really enjoy healing another person’s body thru touch!!

When I started doing massage It was only by accident because I had lost (like so many others) my job when Bush Left office and I couldn’t find work. My self-esteem was very low from constant rejection for employment.

My friend who was already doing massage brought me into it . And Once I started doing massage, I felt better about myself because I was helping others feel better too.

Since that time I have massaged I think I Estimated about 5000 or more & I never looked back .

Personally, I’ve hired both. Escorts and Masseurs.

They both bring something of interest to me to the table. But when I make those purchases, I shop around to get exactly what I want. And so should you.

Don’t get too upset if it takes a few tries. Chalk it up as a learning experience.

I have found that some of the most memorable experiences I’ve had were completely by accident and when I tossed all my Pre-requisites to the wind & took a leap of faith.

With that i say to you ...Peace and happy hunting !!! ✌️?

Another option or way to view the same question would be "Which cities are sexually repressed" and although not definitive, but from my experience traveling and from speaking to about 12-15 escorts, this seems to be a great indicator or client need vs escort supply.

For example: In Montreal Canada, I have had horrible experiences working there. Reason being, Montreal is known for sex and open expressions of human contact, much more so then other citites such as Calgary or for that matter, Toronto. One would think Montreal is a great place for that, but in practice, the rates/hour are drastically less then others (NYC, Toronto, Boston etc.) and the demand from clients is much less as they have something like 13 bathhouses....

 

In my most successful trips have been in the most surprising of locations and my measure tool/question, has not let me down since I have put into practice.

 

Hope this helps and happy to answer other questions anyone may have in regards to my theory....

 

Cheers,

the BEST answer fer sure. given that there are soooo many factors to calculate this , it is true in my experience also...the cities that are the most repressed have been good for me as well. but then again i do really well in nyc and not so good in LA. and ATL is full of flakes that have no consideration for another persons time. get used to that in the deep south... they seem to operate on a different time frame. either that or they like to make a dramatic late entrance.

You've solved the "problem" by outing him as a cheat. At first, I was going to say, "Be a good guy and offer him a free massage next time," but when I read that he had such a severe reaction, I realized that anyone who was THAT allergic would tell you first.

However, you have probably decided by now to ask your clients if they have allergies, and note that you use lavender (and perhaps other allergens) in your lotion. It's a good idea to do that.

Many restaurants will ask about allergies when I make a reservation on line. They know that EMTs rushing into their place of business at a crowded hour is not good for business!

Thanks for your input and yes now i do ask that question. i usually always ask: "do u have any injuries , surgeries, neck pain , back pain, or chronic pain in ur body . Are you in pain now anywhere? do you have blood clots or are you on blood thinners?" so now i add: " are you allergic to any fragrances or essential oils, have skin allergies or sensitivities that would lead you to break out from receiving a massage with professional plant based massaged lotion which may contain lavender or other herbs.?" and i guess i should also include "are you prone to cancer from being around wind turbines and what is your blood type and zodiac sign" jk about the last one

The plot thickens!!!

I knew there was more to this story... you didn’t provide him with the expected “services”, so he then demands a refund for his “allergy”....

 

?

why would screwing someone be expected services??? i don't advertise that i offer penetration. I don't offer penetration with my massage and that is always made clear up front. on rare occasion tho i have had people still pursue that from me when i get there EVEN THOUGH i let them know up front that its not offered. but that is really very rare. most of my clients are not wanting to get screwed. they want a great massage . and i deliver that. THE client in this scenario NEVER said i gave him a lousy massage. make note

Because this is a good and a safe place to get feedback.

as to the question of why i brought this to forum, well because i was CONFLICTED at the time . And i guess i was wrong for asking the question. excuse me. so WHAT ARE we supposed to talk about here? let me know so i can figure out once and for all if this is a site that i want to continue to hang out on. MANY folks i see here everyday chatting about everything under the sun. BUT asking a question about refunds is off ...IS THAT IT ? I barely come here at all and the few times i do its about true professional input and so that makes me a villain? okay. noted

Not odd at all. Please. He just wanted some feedback.

I didn't take that from what he said at all. If anything, not disclosing the guy's past behavior kept the discussion focused on his question in his original post, which was whether he should give the guy a refund in those circumstances. He didn't set out to show the guy in a bad light, in my reading.

Will he do the exact same thing to me if I am his client? I don't know: am I stalking him first in this scenario? I think anyone has a right to get a bit irked about creepy behavior. Thankfully, it wasn't dangerous creepy (lavender rash aside, of course).

Finally, did he disclose anything about the client at all that would make him identifiable? All we know is that he's on Grindr, has tats, and wants to get fucked. That doesn't narrow things down much...

thanks furry. u are right in your assessment. LOOK , i do my thing. I'm a hard worker, i don't screw guys over, i give them good massages, not asking a HUGE rate . very competitive here. I don't have time to play manipulative games. LOL ...i do about 3-4 massages a day. Try it sometime and see if u feel manipulative at the end of the day. Anyone who knows me and has MET me in person knows that my style is not one of such petty non-sense. YES i held back the OTHER creepy aspect of the story EXACTLY for the reason that you mentioned. I wanted the REFUND issue to stand on It's OWN merit. Honestly i could go further and tell you that the guy is from atlanta and YOU DON"T wanna get me started on ATLANTA folks. that's a whole other topic. I DON"T have such a habit of "putting clients down" to make mysefl look better . give me a break. lmao I'm busy working. who has that kind of time. And for the most part i have GREAT clients everywhere. I'm really very lucky with that. BUT i also am not a pushover either. When stupid shyt happens , i'm gonna call it like i see it. AS i look back on the event, i realize that there was an instinctive reason why i was repelled by that individual all along. that kind of person just does NOT ATTRACT me. i am attracted to genuine easy going non-drama types. but hey , thats just me. some may like it & some may not. what can ya do ? can't please everyone. thanks for ALL of the comments tho...the good and the bad. its all very useful and appreciated. thats why i love this forum. i don't dump here often bcuz i really don't encounter much negative stuff to dump...fortunately. I have many GREAT stories tho. i wished i could share them but again...i am usually working til late. wait for the book after i retire !!!!! :~) Peace , namaste and have a great day !!!

Hell no on the refund! Out of curiosity, was it a 60 minute or 90 minute massage?

60 min... the irony is this guy has hit me up on scruff and grindr many many times to "hookup" and i have always declined, so then he scheduled a massage and i didnt realize who it was until i got there. NOW i realize he was just being a prissy little rejected bitch. these fools are too much sometimes

1.) If he’s allergic to lavender, I’m wonderig why he didn’t specify this allergy prior to the massage.

 

2.) Did he not smell the lavender as he was being massaged with the lotion? Lavender has a distinctive smell. I find it strange that he didn’t notice this during the massage.

 

3.) If you showed him pics of the lotion used, would he be willing to show you pics of his allergic reaction to the product?

 

I know I’m going to get slammed for this, but in my opinion, he shouldn’t be refunded. His allergy is HIS responsibility.

 

For example, if a customer has a specific food allergy, and they visit a restaurant and order a meal, they typically confirm if that ingredient is in the dish they want, prior to ordering it. They don’t eat the food, without verification, then demand a refund after they’ve eaten the food and have had an allergic reaction.

 

Lavender is a commonly used aromatherapy product. If one received a massage, it would make sense to ask if it is being used, if there’s an existing allergy.

 

However, if you do decide to give him a refund, inform your local peers in the business of this customer’s allergy.... just in case he’s running a scam.

 

Also, now you can ask prospective clients if they have any allergies before performing massages. ☺️

thanks... when he asked for the refund i told him that i would consider it but first wanted to run the situation by "forum" ...he got really pissed at that and said "YOU jeopardized my life and you want to present this before a FORUM !!!???" lol oh please. gimme a break

I do not believe that you owe him a refund. You provided the agreed upon service sufficiently . As Judge Judy would say "He ate the Steak".

 

As far as the allergic reaction goes, you as the professional could have asked him if he had any allergies,...but ultimately it's up to him to let his sensitivities be known.

 

If you want to show good will, you could offer him a discount on his next session...using a different lotion of course. However, he may not choose to return.

thanks...thats what i was thinking. he said he broke out in hives all over and made a huge fuss over it yet he was inked up almost everywhere on his body so i am wondering why someone like that would be such a "cupcake" ? i think he just wanted me to fuck him and got upset when i rejected the idea.

for the first time in 10 years i had a client complain from their skin breaking out from my lotion. i have used the same lotion for 5 years. never saw the client prior to this, but i gave them a good massage and then a half hour later they texted me asking the brand of lotion. its plant based massage lotion with lavender. pic included. he said he was allergic to lavender ...and wants a refund....SHOULD I GIVE HIM A REFUND or NOT ??

Have you ever tried Boston or Dallas? Folks on here got so tired about the flakiness that the phrase "Dallas mafia" was coined.

so far i can add albuquerque to my list of worst cities becuz the guys here are really full of shit . lol total ""hide behind my keyboard talking shit for hours with no intention of doing anything becuz i'm such a tweeker""... kinda town.

Are you sure they were warts and not seborrheic keratosis?

https://www.aad.org/public/diseases/bumps-and-growths/seborrheic-keratoses

 

Also, they have recently expanded the age guidelines for Gardasil, the HPV vaccine, and I would think all massage therapists should get it.

yeah, i know they can be somewhat similar. and of course in that setting i can't honestly say i am 100 % sure but im comforatble with saying i am 75% certain it was small warts.

Warning in Canada for you. Their market pays lower than the US. Also considering their currency conversion rate, you’re hit twice. If you’re ok and comfortable making roughly 50% of your hourly, then go ahead and book. Toronto hotels can be a bit high as well so it’s very tough! I have done Toronto 2x and Vancouver 3x. All 5 of my Canadian trips have been profitable, but the margins are not that great.

thanks for the info !!

Well, I'm not surprised someone was Nordic as you did well with Asians opposites attract.

 

Btw, you're one of the few escorts/masseurs saying something nice about Dallas.

 

Check pricing before going to Canada... I know several very successful guys who went there on their own and never went back. They told me rates as they're South of the border.

great info on canada...very helpful...thanks !! re: dallas, it just proves that one persons "junk" can be another's "treasure booty" !! figuratively speaking )

Well, I'm not surprised someone was Nordic as you did well with Asians opposites attract.

 

Btw, you're one of the few escorts/masseurs saying something nice about Dallas.

 

Check pricing before going to Canada... I know several very successful guys who went there on their own and never went back. They told me rates as they're South of the border.

great info on canada...very helpful...thanks !! re: dallas, it just proves that one persons "junk" can be another's "treasure booty" !! figuratively speaking )

I know that this will probably make a few folks cringe but i have to put it out there anyways for discussion. A few weeks ago i massaged a client who was super nice and all but i noticed the client had a good number of small warts on their skin (mostly on the legs) I felt them right away and did my best to work around them but there were quite a few and i couldn't help but to start feeling very uncomfortable with massaging the client. it kinda took a toll and my happy attitude became very ...well irritated . Irritated becuz i don't know how to deal with it in the moment . irritated becuz i felt some kind of resentment toward the otherwise very polite and nice client. To be clear, warts can be common and usually a result of human papilloma virus. They ARE contagious with skin to skin contact. it's impossible to avoid them completely and easy to combat with proper immediate hand-washing and a good healthy immune system. BUT, never-the-less, they can present a very HUGE problem to the livelihood of a masseur. SOOO.... any thoughts on how to handle the situation? any thoughts on the client who willfully gets massages even tho they know they have this malady ? i have also sometimes encountered staph boils as well and i just wonder if others have encountered these situations also and how they have handled it ??? looking for a robust healthy debate and advice

I know that this will probably make a few folks cringe but i have to put it out there anyways for discussion. A few weeks ago i massaged a client who was super nice and all but i noticed the client had a good number of small warts on their skin (mostly on the legs) I felt them right away and did my best to work around them but there were quite a few and i couldn't help but to start feeling very uncomfortable with massaging the client. it kinda took a toll and my happy attitude became very ...well irritated . Irritated becuz i don't know how to deal with it in the moment . irritated becuz i felt some kind of resentment toward the otherwise very polite and nice client. To be clear, warts can be common and usually a result of human papilloma virus. They ARE contagious with skin to skin contact. it's impossible to avoid them completely and easy to combat with proper immediate hand-washing and a good healthy immune system. BUT, never-the-less, they can present a very HUGE problem to the livelihood of a masseur. SOOO.... any thoughts on how to handle the situation? any thoughts on the client who willfully gets massages even tho they know they have this malady ? i have also sometimes encountered staph boils as well and i just wonder if others have encountered these situations also and how they have handled it ??? looking for a robust healthy debate and advice

i love dallas (one of my favorites)...boston, meh... i went once... had good results with clients... (mostly all asian students unexpectedly) but that was fine by me. Atlanta is my worst for a big city. very inconsiderate bunch. i never been to a place so FAKE as atlanta's "southern hospitality" but in retrospect im sure even that will change eventually as new people from other places move into atlanta. i don't care for miami much either. one of the rudest places i have ever been to. & everything is waaaay overpriced. But i am one of those people that has a short memory on things like that unitl i return a second or third time...then i suddenly remember why i promised myself i would never return. when it's too late !! lol I kinda just enjoy traveling and as long as i can cover my expenses for the trip then i am good. I am definitely looking forward to exploring montreal and toronto in 2019 . never been to canada and craving to check it out !! BUT TEXAS is my favorite state i think cuz the guys are super cool with me there. i feel loved <3

i love dallas (one of my favorites)...boston, meh... i went once... had good results with clients... (mostly all asian students unexpectedly) but that was fine by me. Atlanta is my worst for a big city. very inconsiderate bunch. i never been to a place so FAKE as atlanta's "southern hospitality" but in retrospect im sure even that will change eventually as new people from other places move into atlanta. i don't care for miami much either. one of the rudest places i have ever been to. & everything is waaaay overpriced. But i am one of those people that has a short memory on things like that unitl i return a second or third time...then i suddenly remember why i promised myself i would never return. when it's too late !! lol I kinda just enjoy traveling and as long as i can cover my expenses for the trip then i am good. I am definitely looking forward to exploring montreal and toronto in 2019 . never been to canada and craving to check it out !! BUT TEXAS is my favorite state i think cuz the guys are super cool with me there. i feel loved <3