Sammmmm

Could I have a PM for details as well? Really haven't touched any men since March.......

Hey @Sammmmm anything to report since you first posted this?

 

I'd suggest asking the guy out to lunch, then at lunch tell him you're trying to figure out how/whether to come out at work. Which from as far as I can tell, is the truth of your situation. Then from there things will go whichever way they go, but at the very least you might have an ally during this next phase of your life.

 

But I would definitely not mention you'd seen him on Grindr, particularly if he shows his face in his profile but you don't. For some people the hookup sites are no big deal, but for others it's more personal and he might feel you're being intrusive.

I am taking it kinda slow recently. But we have been talking about his travel plans, life etc. Something out of work. I think it would be weird to just ask him out for lunch out of blue. He is kinda busy at work and it's kinda hard to make a lot of conversation with him. Sometimes I don't think he even has lunch at all.

I don't think I would mention the grindr thing to him. Too be honest, I am very likely not his type. My goal now is to be friend with him, hang out after work and hopefully he can introduce some hot gay guys to me

So that made me think of a couple questions.

 

I don't use those APPS so school me. Won't he know there are other gay coworkers (such as you) nearby?

 

Have you already left him any Grindr messages or other marker on his profile?

I did not leave any message or taps in Grindr to him at all. He would know there are other gay coworkers in the office but probably not me. I think a lot of people mentioned it in this thread that people would know the "unseen things" in the office that I am probably gay. But I don't think people would know that pictureless profile is me.

If you've seen his profile on Grindr then I'm sure he's seen yours. If nothing happened til now then, most likely, nothing will ever happen. I'd let it go. Keep it platonic and professional.

But I have a pictureless grindr profile. I don't think he saw me.

I absolutely believe he already knows your gay, as does everyone else in your office that's seen an episode of Glee. He probably wants you to come out to him, the more gay people at work the better.

I hope that this is true and it would just make me feel better. I don't want anyone surprisingly finds out I am gay and they make it really weird about it.

Communication! Best advice yet.

I would definitely make some sort of move, but start out in more of a platonic, social manner (lunch, drinks, go for a hike, etc.) and establish a friendship first.

 

Then, as soon as the relationship starts becoming romantic, you have to stop and have the conversation about how you could make it work, without jeopardizing your jobs or co-worker relationship. If there’s trust and common goals and values between you, then you can make it work. If not, best to just stay friends. It’s harder to go back and talk about it once you’re in too deep. ?

I really appreciate everyone provides some many ideas and suggestions. I agree with @David1024 's idea that I should be friend with him first and see where it will take me. It doesn't have to become romantic. We have been talking about some neighborhoods he likes in the city, TV shows etc. I just wanna make more conversation with him first since he usually is very busy at work. He has a lot of meetings everyday and he stays late a lot.

I agree that if I keep myself in the closet, I would miss out a lot of chances because maybe coworkers want to introduce someone for me and it is better to show the true self and it should make life easier not just at work. I guess I would ask him if he recommends any gay bars/things in the city to give him some hint. He seems really open to talk about LGBT stuff. I will see what is his reaction once he hears about this.

Really appreciate everyone's help!!!

I gave him what I certainly believe to be very good advice, and I don't appreciate being told that this is "bull crap." You entered the workforce many decades ago, and things have changed a lot since then. There are lots of gay-friendly places to work now, Fortune 500 companies and otherwise, and I provided resources to help in finding such work. Staying in the closet take a toll on emotional and physical health, and there are enough jobs out there that working in a hostile environment is rarely a necessity. Even when I was entering the workforce, a couple of decades after you, finding gay-friendly workplaces was more difficult than it is now, but I preferred taking a small financial hit in order to preserve my self-dignity.

 

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/coming-out-of-the-closet-may-be-good-for-your-health-7400182/

 

https://www.outsmartmagazine.com/2016/03/staying-in-the-closet-5-ways-you-damage-your-mental-physical-health/

 

Obviously, my advice is there for the OP to take or reject. There may be something unique about his situation. However, my advice is certainly not "bull crap." I'd just hate to see the OP grow up to be a bitter old queen.

You guys don't have to discuss whether I should find another job if I don't feel comfortable coming out in the office. It took me more than 6 months to find this job and I love what I am doing. I think that people in the office is really open and respectful to LGBT. Just I am not sure how and when to come out because I am still kinda struggling in telling all of my friends and families. Not because I feel uncomfortable in the office environment.

The chances he feels the same about you are slim. That's life. Being closeted can make life awkward for sure. Having sex with someone at work can be tricky.

 

How do you know he plays hockey? Have you asked him about his hockey team? Is it something you're interested in attending?

 

If not, what kind of groundwork are you doing to make things possible, because just telling a coworker out of the blue you have a crush on him will be uncomfortable for him. Telling a coworker you saw him on Grindr would be awkward, bordering on weird for him.

 

I like your idea of expanding your circle of friends. You deserve a circle of friends so work on it. Maybe he needs more friends as well, more than just a life of hooking up with strangers on Grindr.

We talked about it in at the office that he plays hockey and he plays it in some local league. I am not interested to join him for hockey but I don't mind go and watch a hockey game that he plays or watch it with him.

After I read all the replies, I don't think I will tell him out of blue that I am gay. I will start with friends and hang out first and see how it goes. If I could get more gay friends from him, that's awesome. Doesn't have to date him or have sex with him eventually. I think that is more like my realistic goal.

My suggestion is to do something other than this, so I'm not sure you're open to it (or will like it).

 

If you want to hear it, please say so. If not, I'll keep my gay mouth shut.

I WANNA HEAR IT!!! Just say it man.

I don't think anyone in the company knows that I am gay. But most people know he is gay and I am not sure if I tell him I am gay, he could spread the words and it might make me embarrassed.

I just moved to a new city for my new job. I have been working there for about 4 months. One of my coworkers sits near me is REALLY CUTE. He plays hockey but he is not over strong but lean. Personally I think he is easy to talk to. We have been having some small coffee chats at the office and he has been recommending TV shows or movie he likes.

I just found out he is gay because I saw his Grindr profile when I was at my home. We were only 2000 feet away. His relationship status is single in grindr. I know that we live in different neighborhoods so he probably was hooking up with someone near me. So now I am not sure if I should talk him that I am gay and I kinda like him. I am afraid that if I tell him I have a crush on him but he doesn't like me, it would become awkward. Even if he likes me, it would be inappropriate with have sex or date my coworker.

What's more, I wanna make some gay friends and get into the gay circles in this new city. He could be a good entry point instead of just hooking up with random guys in grindr. Could anyone provide me some suggestions if I want to tell him or ask him out, what should I say? or how to avoid awkwardness if he doesn't like me at all?

Hi looks really nice and ripped!!!

I have tried contacted him last time I was in NYC. I booked him before I arrive but on the day we are supposed to meet, he never reply me with his address.

But the day after he text me back saying that he lost his phone the day before and very sorry about it.

Maybe next time I go back to NYC and I will try him and let everyone knows.

If Brand is half as good as his vids I would try him out (I have not).

I really wanna try a daddy like him. However his profile is expired and I don't think he lives in US so it is a bit hard to reach out to him. Sad

I am going to San Francisco in July. I am vers bottom. I prefer hunks, muscular. Chest hair and foreskin is big plus!!!!

I really like guys like Tomas brand https://rentmen.eu/TomasBxxx

or Tayler Saint

or Adrainn https://rentmen.eu/Adriaann

But they are not in San Francisco.....

Really appreciate any recommendations!!!

Oh he is so hot. If anyone could post their experience with Adrian, I would really appreciate it.

I like him because he is very professional.

I have met him twice for massage before. Once in Boston and anther time in Vages. He is REALLY good at massage!!! I hav shoulder pain occasionally and his massage helps relief.

He has a strong body with some hair, but still his skin is very smooth at the same time.(Yeah! He allows mutual touch). I like to get jerk off at the end of massage but no sex. He would ask politely whether you want “relief” or not. His warm hands just know how to do it. But he seems kinda emotionally detach from customers. He never gets hard not matter how I touch his dick.

If you want a good massage, go try him! If you also want a “relief”, go ahead as well.

whether you have STDs or bareback with his clients. Even if I use condom every time I hire escort, I still want to know if he has STDs or even bareback with clients. I assume I will also have higher chances of getting STD if he bareback since using condom only reduces risks.

Some escorts said "They are clean". What do they mean clean in terms of escorting? or did anyone get STD from clients? How did you protect yourself other than using condom and prep?

He advertised in NYC for USD 400 a while back.

So sad, feel like I missed the chance since his profile is not active

https://rent.men/TomasBxxx

I found this profile on rentmen as well. But it is not active and I don’t know how to contact him. Does anyone know how I could reach him?

Does anyone hire Tomas brand before? He is so hot and I really want him to be my daddy;) But his profile on rentmen is inactive. Does anyone know if he still escort? Or anyone other recommendation similar to his type?