The self-loathing is obvious when you have a poster saying things along the lines of “all gay men are less masculine than straight or bisexual men.”
This “all or nothing” mentality often results from objectifying masculine men who don’t share one’s “dirty little secret” when they’re young.
Speaking for myself, I’m what most gay men would call (sometimes derisively) as alpha male, hyper-masculine. (That doesn’t mean I don’t like to “flip the script” behind closed doors and give someone else the control sometimes).
I know plenty of metrosexual-type guys who are avowedly straight, and have had more than my share of bromances with straight guys.
When I go to a party where I’m not known, people always ask if I’m military or a cop. Frankly,I could care less because I am what I am, but for someone to just generalize that straight or bisexual men are intrinsically more masculine than the whole of the gay male population...and the disdain for the gay community that such an opinion often hides...does, absolutely, belie some kind of self-loathing.
It’s not an act for me, it’s who I am. It’s who I grew up to be.