Also me been the top sometimes, I take people's reaction into consideration before going in. If that bottom needs substance or is Loose, my dick goes soft!
That's why if a hung guy has no clear idea about relaxing a bottom via fingering or other techniques besides substance, then I wouldn't even meet him offline!
Like sipping wine to relax or drinking wine to get drunk? Me personally, if a guy can kiss, lick, rim, massage and FUCK deep n nice( no not PORN fucking), then why need substance?