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Captain of Virginia Military Institute swim team comes out as gay John Kim decided that as a team leader, he needed to set an example. “Proud of you John!” “Just wanted to say I’m happy for you. I’m glad you told us today, mad respect. I hope you’re much happier now.” “You’re my hero.” The night before my life completely changed, I sat in my room exhausted from a full day of classes and swim practice at Virginia Military Institute. As thousands of other things went through my mind, I kept saying to myself that tomorrow was the day, How are my teammates going to react? How are they going to treat me after this? What are other people at school going to think? How is the rest of my family going to react? What are my roommates going to say? As all of this ran through my head, as it has for the past couple of months. I texted my best friend and former teammate in high school and she got me to remember that life is too short to pretend being someone else. Come that Wednesday, Oct. 11, 2017, I had a couple of tests that kept me distracted, but as classes ended, I knew it was going to happen that day. Not because it was also National Coming Out Day, but because I had a good feeling that it was time to be me. This year I was elected as captain of the men’s and women’s VMI swim team, a 45-member, Division 1 swim team. As a captain on the team, I focused on working with teammates and coaches on bonding and cohesiveness. If I wasn’t honest with my coaches and teammates, how could I expect others to be honest with me? That’s why I wanted to come out to the team. I couldn’t keep being this other person when I needed to be my authentic self. I texted my two best friends with whom I swam in high school with on my club team and told them. The response I got was astonishing. “Of course, I’m with you and I love you, brother. This couldn’t have been easy, so huge respect for that.” The words I read not only gave me courage, but a sense that everything was going to be OK. I got down to practice a little earlier than usual and was waiting for both of my coaches to come down on deck. Since my head coach is new this season, I had no idea what to expect since we haven’t had the chance to get that close yet. Waiting nervously, I thought that maybe I would do it another day, but I knew today was the day. I first told a co-captain and she was very supportive and stood next to me when I asked my coaches if I could talk to them privately. “Coaches, I have been meaning to share this with you since the first day of the season, but after some setbacks, I am finally ready to share … I’m gay.” The reactions I from them were support and happiness. I asked my coach if I could tell the team, and he agreed. I asked the team to hop out of the water, and everyone gathered around. As they surrounded me, many of them confused as to why everyone was out of the pool, I began talking. “Hey guys, I’ve been meaning to tell you something that I’ve been meaning to share for a while because I consider you all more than just teammates, but friends and brothers and sisters: I’m gay.” As it got quiet, I began to hear some murmurs, then cheering. I got some pats on the back and felt like I was on cloud nine. When I jumped into the water and started swimming, I couldn’t get the smile off my face. After practice I got back to my room and got messages from teammates saying how proud and happy they were of me. I then decided to come out to the world. I posted my coming out on Instagram, and have received amazing support from friends, family, former teammates and even former swimmers I coached over the summers. “ I love you coach John, we miss you!” “Proud of you coach.” “Missing the days of training, proud of you! I hope all is well. “

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