KennF

Further thoughts:
I give the client the benefit of the doubt in this situation. I look at the question as a simple inquiry, and not one with a negative connotation.
Perhaps they are complimenting you in a way. The client may see your great qualities and other strengths that another career choice can highlight.

Just go over with him what you are looking for... For Example: "The idea sounds appealing as long as you're both into me. I wasn't looking for a voyeur show and like to participate and even be the meat in a sandwich. And definitely into 3way kissing. How does that sound?"

Here's the thing, from my perspective. If you want to try again, and it sounds like you do, then you have to ask for some consideration for the unsatisfactory service from the second encounter.
 
If you don't ask, you will not be able to shrug it off and have a good time in the future with him. He may say yes or he may say no. That's his choice. His choice will lead you to your decision.
 
As for your tip on the second occasion, I gather that tip was about you, and not about him. You may have sent a confused message and that confused message is coming back to you now. Time to correct it.
 
Since he reached out to you, I'd suggest responding with a comment that says something like... "I appreciate the offer. I am a little hesitant because last time I felt we didn't connect and the session ended on a down note. I'd be open to considering another chance... make me an offer I can't refuse. *wink*"
 
That leaves it all in his court.

From another perspective...
 
If you are asking for a therapeutic massage, you want to feel comfortable with the services you are receiving. If you go to the local spa, you don't always know if you'll get a male or female available. You know, when you hire the therapist directly.
 
Also, you don't know if they are comfortable with your cock and balls or afraid that you'll file an inappropriate sexual conduct complaint. They may spend a great deal of effort to make sure your privates are covered. That draping, while quite efficient, can take 5-10% of time you'd prefer they were working on the massage.
 
Since you are probably not concerned about modesty, and may not be opposed to having them handle your cock, using "those sites" (as you call it), allow both you and them to focus on the massage. If someone is advertising, then you can feel comfortable the focus is not on your modesty.

You may not realise it, but you are.

You started out by saying that poz escorts should not be in the business. That goes rather a lot further than disclosure.

Which is why I used the term "seem to assume".
 

I am generally unconcerned about a sexual partner's HIV status because I use condoms, and because I know that I'm more likely to contract HIV from somebody who thinks they are negative than somebody who knows they are positive and who is medicated. That said I would find it reassuring to know that somebody is poz and undetectable. That is because I have educated myself on this topic.
 

I think we all know who has shown wilful ignorance on this topic.

There are both poz clients and poz hookers. I've seen many poz clients because of the stigma that @youngboldone is spreading. It's unfortunate and unfair. Just because one is poz does not mean they are any less deserving of intimacy and at the end of the day hopefully love.
 
Hugs,
Greg

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.
 
Hugs,
Greg

Wow. I wish I could retract the defence of you I mounted in this thread.
 
Did you read any of the articles that @KennF linked to? In terms of HIV transmission it’s safer to have sex with a poz person who is on meds and undetectable than with somebody who thinks they are negative (but could well be wrong). The guys who think they are negative “could potentially infect you with a fatal disease.” Moreover you seem to assume that all clients are HIV negative and/or care about the escort’s HIV status, if you think poz escorts should not be in the business. On both counts you are incorrect.
 
Please go and educate yourself instead of spreading such stigmatising nonsense.

Two things:
1) Put a condom in your wallet and leave it there for those moments when things "occur" with spontaneity. You'll never again have to say, we can't have sex because we don't have a condom. Most men that I know, have one with them permanently in their wallet.
 
2) You really need to understand that people with HIV are people. Real human beings. Sexy as fuck, annoying as hell, exciting, boring, but real and full of all of the same emotions as you. Maybe then, HIV won't be as terrifying, and, you can stop looking at someone and seeing the virus.
 
PrEP is a good thing and has its purposes. You and I have messaged back and forth and we've talked a lot about it, but the fear is something you should figure out how to get passed.
 
 
 

This is very unfair to him and to yourself. You have the knowledge and facts, from the CDC, from people with firsthand experience, etc... and still choose not to trust. That is very sad.

@youngboldone I am not vilifying you.
 
CDC site has been put up before and the topic has been well discussed.


https://www.cdc.gov/hiv/basics/prep.html
https://www.cdc.gov/hiv/basics/prevention.html
 
Here are additional sites:


https://www.poz.com/article/condom-PrEP-efficacy-26766-8889
https://www.hiv.gov/hiv-basics/hiv-prevention/using-hiv-medication-to-reduce-risk/pre-exposure-prophylaxis
https://aidsinfo.nih.gov/understanding-hiv-aids/fact-sheets/20/48/the-basics-of-hiv-prevention
http://www.catie.ca/en/fact-sheets/prevention/condoms
https://www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/3100.aspx?CategoryID=118
http://www.who.int/hiv/topics/condoms/en/
http://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMp068111#t=article
https://www.aidschicago.org/resources/legacy/condoms/ltoyw_fact.pdf
http://www.unaids.org/en/resources/presscentre/featurestories/2015/july/20150702_condoms_prevention
Within each are reference material down to the studies and published works that support each of the articles.

@youngboldone I am not vilifying you.
 
CDC site has been put up before and the topic has been well discussed.


https://www.cdc.gov/hiv/basics/prep.html
https://www.cdc.gov/hiv/basics/prevention.html
 
Here are additional sites:


https://www.poz.com/article/condom-PrEP-efficacy-26766-8889
https://www.hiv.gov/hiv-basics/hiv-prevention/using-hiv-medication-to-reduce-risk/pre-exposure-prophylaxis
https://aidsinfo.nih.gov/understanding-hiv-aids/fact-sheets/20/48/the-basics-of-hiv-prevention
http://www.catie.ca/en/fact-sheets/prevention/condoms
https://www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/3100.aspx?CategoryID=118
http://www.who.int/hiv/topics/condoms/en/
http://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMp068111#t=article
https://www.aidschicago.org/resources/legacy/condoms/ltoyw_fact.pdf
http://www.unaids.org/en/resources/presscentre/featurestories/2015/july/20150702_condoms_prevention
Within each are reference material down to the studies and published works that support each of the articles.

@youngboldone I am not vilifying you.
 
CDC site has been put up before and the topic has been well discussed.


https://www.cdc.gov/hiv/basics/prep.html
https://www.cdc.gov/hiv/basics/prevention.html
 
Here are additional sites:


https://www.poz.com/article/condom-PrEP-efficacy-26766-8889
https://www.hiv.gov/hiv-basics/hiv-prevention/using-hiv-medication-to-reduce-risk/pre-exposure-prophylaxis
https://aidsinfo.nih.gov/understanding-hiv-aids/fact-sheets/20/48/the-basics-of-hiv-prevention
http://www.catie.ca/en/fact-sheets/prevention/condoms
https://www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/3100.aspx?CategoryID=118
http://www.who.int/hiv/topics/condoms/en/
http://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMp068111#t=article
https://www.aidschicago.org/resources/legacy/condoms/ltoyw_fact.pdf
http://www.unaids.org/en/resources/presscentre/featurestories/2015/july/20150702_condoms_prevention
Within each are reference material down to the studies and published works that support each of the articles.

@youngboldone I am not vilifying you.
 
CDC site has been put up before and the topic has been well discussed.


https://www.cdc.gov/hiv/basics/prep.html
https://www.cdc.gov/hiv/basics/prevention.html
 
Here are additional sites:


https://www.poz.com/article/condom-PrEP-efficacy-26766-8889
https://www.hiv.gov/hiv-basics/hiv-prevention/using-hiv-medication-to-reduce-risk/pre-exposure-prophylaxis
https://aidsinfo.nih.gov/understanding-hiv-aids/fact-sheets/20/48/the-basics-of-hiv-prevention
http://www.catie.ca/en/fact-sheets/prevention/condoms
https://www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/3100.aspx?CategoryID=118
http://www.who.int/hiv/topics/condoms/en/
http://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMp068111#t=article
https://www.aidschicago.org/resources/legacy/condoms/ltoyw_fact.pdf
http://www.unaids.org/en/resources/presscentre/featurestories/2015/july/20150702_condoms_prevention
Within each are reference material down to the studies and published works that support each of the articles.

Two things:
1) Put a condom in your wallet and leave it there for those moments when things "occur" with spontaneity. You'll never again have to say, we can't have sex because we don't have a condom. Most men that I know, have one with them permanently in their wallet.
 
2) You really need to understand that people with HIV are people. Real human beings. Sexy as fuck, annoying as hell, exciting, boring, but real and full of all of the same emotions as you. Maybe then, HIV won't be as terrifying, and, you can stop looking at someone and seeing the virus.
 
PrEP is a good thing and has its purposes. You and I have messaged back and forth and we've talked a lot about it, but the fear is something you should figure out how to get passed.
 
 
 

This is very unfair to him and to yourself. You have the knowledge and facts, from the CDC, from people with firsthand experience, etc... and still choose not to trust. That is very sad.

I’m not sure that you are disagreeing with me. My point was that he is experiencing an irrational fear or phobia that cannot simply be overcome by reason. It is certainly unfair to the escort, and those with HIV, but I don’t know what you expect the OP to do if he is so deeply uncomfortable/phobic.

Two things:
1) Put a condom in your wallet and leave it there for those moments when things "occur" with spontaneity. You'll never again have to say, we can't have sex because we don't have a condom. Most men that I know, have one with them permanently in their wallet.
 
2) You really need to understand that people with HIV are people. Real human beings. Sexy as fuck, annoying as hell, exciting, boring, but real and full of all of the same emotions as you. Maybe then, HIV won't be as terrifying, and, you can stop looking at someone and seeing the virus.
 
PrEP is a good thing and has its purposes. You and I have messaged back and forth and we've talked a lot about it, but the fear is something you should figure out how to get passed.
 
 
 

This is very unfair to him and to yourself. You have the knowledge and facts, from the CDC, from people with firsthand experience, etc... and still choose not to trust. That is very sad.

Here's the thing, from my perspective. If you want to try again, and it sounds like you do, then you have to ask for some consideration for the unsatisfactory service from the second encounter.
 
If you don't ask, you will not be able to shrug it off and have a good time in the future with him. He may say yes or he may say no. That's his choice. His choice will lead you to your decision.
 
As for your tip on the second occasion, I gather that tip was about you, and not about him. You may have sent a confused message and that confused message is coming back to you now. Time to correct it.
 
Since he reached out to you, I'd suggest responding with a comment that says something like... "I appreciate the offer. I am a little hesitant because last time I felt we didn't connect and the session ended on a down note. I'd be open to considering another chance... make me an offer I can't refuse. *wink*"
 
That leaves it all in his court.

@youngboldone I'm not sure if I fall on the 'client' or 'provider' side on this one. There were a lot of different expectations missed in your interaction, so far.
 
It sounds like you expect a potential hire to treat you with a high level of customer service and to win the sale. I can respect that.
From your perspective... you are a potential customer trying to close the deal.
 
It sounds like he expects his potential clients to be more direct and get to the point. He wants to move you from a 'lead', to a 'potential customer', and then a 'paying client'.
From his perspective... you are a lead who is using his valuable time.
 
Now, somewhere along the route, you started taking offense and he's gotten defensive and started explaining/excusing his behavior. I'm not sure you're going to be able to push through that. You may, but it is going to have to come from you, not him.
 
The minute one side or the other starts making excuses, the deal is in jeopardy. Even though you might have been very happy with his services, and he may have been an excellent service provider, you guys aren't communicating your expectations.
 
In the future, I'd suggest firming up an appointment time and a general type of encounter (massage, BFE, date, fetish, etc...). Once you have a date/time, you can he can discuss the finer details and any deal breakers. If anything comes up during those discussing or he stops communicating, cancel the appointment.

It's common and reasonable for an escort to not want to discuss compatibility, particularly if that means preferences and positions, until he's sure that a date and time can be established. Text messages can come across as terse, so I wouldn't read too much into perceived attitude without some other confirmation. If it were me I'd be comfortable holding off on such details until I was sure I could free up my schedule for him.
 
Some escorts will discuss compatibility first, leading to arranging a meeting; others will want to be sure that a meeting is feasible before getting into details. I'd like to think that they'd all be flexible in their discussions, but I'm sure that they've had their share of non-serious inquiries from guys texting with only one hand.

I started subscribing to an onlyfans account this morning.... knowing very little about it.
 
I didn't follow through.
 
I have a paypal account I use for other adult activities. But, as written above, they only take mastercard or visa. I don't want to link my MC or Visa to this activity.
 
The "performer" who interests me has zero previews. Very little info regarding his content is on his home page - only his number of pictures and videos... relatively low numbers at that. Nothing about video duration. For example, if the number of videos was five.... five 20 minute videos vs five 90-second videos.... I hate when I do things that result in my feeling ripped off, and I should have known better.
 
This post was helpful. And I am now intrigued to learn more regarding

Here's the thing, from my perspective. If you want to try again, and it sounds like you do, then you have to ask for some consideration for the unsatisfactory service from the second encounter.
 
If you don't ask, you will not be able to shrug it off and have a good time in the future with him. He may say yes or he may say no. That's his choice. His choice will lead you to your decision.
 
As for your tip on the second occasion, I gather that tip was about you, and not about him. You may have sent a confused message and that confused message is coming back to you now. Time to correct it.
 
Since he reached out to you, I'd suggest responding with a comment that says something like... "I appreciate the offer. I am a little hesitant because last time I felt we didn't connect and the session ended on a down note. I'd be open to considering another chance... make me an offer I can't refuse. *wink*"
 
That leaves it all in his court.

Here's the thing, from my perspective. If you want to try again, and it sounds like you do, then you have to ask for some consideration for the unsatisfactory service from the second encounter.
 
If you don't ask, you will not be able to shrug it off and have a good time in the future with him. He may say yes or he may say no. That's his choice. His choice will lead you to your decision.
 
As for your tip on the second occasion, I gather that tip was about you, and not about him. You may have sent a confused message and that confused message is coming back to you now. Time to correct it.
 
Since he reached out to you, I'd suggest responding with a comment that says something like... "I appreciate the offer. I am a little hesitant because last time I felt we didn't connect and the session ended on a down note. I'd be open to considering another chance... make me an offer I can't refuse. *wink*"
 
That leaves it all in his court.

Depends on what you think the purpose of onlyfans is, for me.
 
I haven't found a frame of thought that shows a value for me, yet. It wouldn't be too onerous, except that I know that the site gets a portion of the fees, yet they do nothing for that content.
 
When I think of it as a site to follow someone I admire and like, I don't see where it is too much different from Twitter, except that I have to pay monthly for the pleasure of seeing the content.
 
When I think of it as a porn site for a particular person, the fee seems of lower value when compared to other sites.
 
When I think of it as a search engine/marketing tool, I don't see the business model for it.
 
If someone has found a good value for it, I'd love to hear about it.

I think it is because people like to understand motives. Except on very rare occasions, no one does something for nothing. Even on those times where they appear to do it for nothing, they are getting some personal satisfaction.
 
If the site is costing someone money, then I would anticipate either (a) they have a lots of time and money to waste, (b) they have a NFP benefactor; © it is a hobby that will be dropped when the time/money gets too much, (d) it will be sold to someone (maybe with less scruples), (e) they are going to monetize it in someway, or (f) something else that I don't yet understand.
 
I don't think I'd be "more happy if [you] start charging", but at least then I'd understand the business model.
 
It is very hard to believe that something that is costing in perpetuity is being done altruistically. And even harder when you consider that there are multiple people involved in the site's operations/management.