I, Claudius
Quintus Justus: Do you know what's going on at the new palace at this moment? The Emperor's wife is competing with a prostitute to see who can wear out the most men. Oh, they've been at it since noon!
http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTQ5Nzc1NzUwMl5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwNzY2MDU1MjE@._V1_SY317_CR104,0,214,317_AL_.jpg http://www.wearysloth.com/Gallery/ActorsH/tve8260-12-167.gif
Crowd: Galla's Hair!
Mnester: "The golden hair that Galla wears
Is hers. Who would have thought it?
She swears it's hers, and true she swears
For I know where she bought it!"
Messalina: Oh, come, Mnester.
Mnester: "You ask me how my farm can pay,
Since little it will bear.
It pays me thus - 'tis far away
And you are never there!"
Slave: The woman Scylla! The President of the Guild of Prostitutes!
Mnester: Sh! ... Permit me to introduce myself. My name is Mnester. I am an actor. Most people have heard of me.
Scylla: My name is Scylla and I'm a whore. Everybody's heard of me.
Mnester: Allow me to introduce you to the Lady Messalina. Your challenger, and the Emperor's wife. This is Scylla the Sicilian - and anybody's wife!
Scylla: I am honored.
Messalina: You are most welcome.
Scylla: They said you were beautiful, but their praise did you small justice.
Messalina: You are most generous. And it was sporting of you to accept the challenge.
Scylla: Sporting? I see. There's no money in it?
Mnester: You're here for the honor and to defend your reputation.
Scylla: Would you defend yours for nothing, Greek? Lady, I'm a professional; I work for money. The honor I gladly leave to you.
Mnester: What impudence! She expects to be paid, and in this company!
Scylla: The difference between you and me, actor, is you're a snob and I'm not. And the difference between this great lady and myself is that my work is her hobby. My hobby happens to be gardening, for which I don't expect to be paid.
Messalina: You shall have your money. Shall we say...?
Scylla: Five?
Messalina: Three gold pieces a head?
Scylla: "A head" seems an odd way to describe it. Win or lose, of course? That seems satisfactory.
Mnester: Satisfactory? You've never earned so much in a whole year.
Scylla: This Greek will drive me to distraction. Nothing I say pleases him.
Messalina: Let us begin. Which side of the bed do you prefer? Left or right?
Scylla: Lady, give me a support for my back and "Let the Games begin," as they say!
I, Claudius Quintus Justus: Do you know what's going on at the new palace at this moment? The Emperor's wife is competing with a prostitute to see who can wear out the most men. Oh, they've been at it since noon! http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTQ5Nzc1NzUwMl5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwNzY2MDU1MjE@._V1_SY317_CR104,0,214,317_AL_.jpg http://www.wearysloth.com/Gallery/ActorsH/tve8260-12-167.gif Crowd: Galla's Hair! Mnester: "The golden hair that Galla wears Is hers. Who would have thought it? She swears it's hers, and true she swears For I know where she bought it!" Messalina: Oh, come, Mnester. Mnester: "You ask me how my farm can pay, Since little it will bear. It pays me thus - 'tis far away And you are never there!" Slave: The woman Scylla! The President of the Guild of Prostitutes! Mnester: Sh! ... Permit me to introduce myself. My name is Mnester. I am an actor. Most people have heard of me. Scylla: My name is Scylla and I'm a whore. Everybody's heard of me. Mnester: Allow me to introduce you to the Lady Messalina. Your challenger, and the Emperor's wife. This is Scylla the Sicilian - and anybody's wife! Scylla: I am honored. Messalina: You are most welcome. Scylla: They said you were beautiful, but their praise did you small justice. Messalina: You are most generous. And it was sporting of you to accept the challenge. Scylla: Sporting? I see. There's no money in it? Mnester: You're here for the honor and to defend your reputation. Scylla: Would you defend yours for nothing, Greek? Lady, I'm a professional; I work for money. The honor I gladly leave to you. Mnester: What impudence! She expects to be paid, and in this company! Scylla: The difference between you and me, actor, is you're a snob and I'm not. And the difference between this great lady and myself is that my work is her hobby. My hobby happens to be gardening, for which I don't expect to be paid. Messalina: You shall have your money. Shall we say...? Scylla: Five? Messalina: Three gold pieces a head? Scylla: "A head" seems an odd way to describe it. Win or lose, of course? That seems satisfactory. Mnester: Satisfactory? You've never earned so much in a whole year. Scylla: This Greek will drive me to distraction. Nothing I say pleases him. Messalina: Let us begin. Which side of the bed do you prefer? Left or right? Scylla: Lady, give me a support for my back and "Let the Games begin," as they say!