saminseattle

I think you should apologize to your partner about not being open and honest with him about your extra-curricular affairs. But I don’t think you should apologize for having them. IMHO, celibacy is not a reasonable demand to make in a relationship; honesty is. After you have apologized and given him some time and space, he will hopefully back down on the threats and instead become open to a more constructive dialogue. If he insists on divorce, I would not assume it will all be on his terms, at least not without speaking to a family law attorney in your state.

Aside from not wanting to lose paying advertisers unless there’s clear evidence of fakery, I suspect RM’s other big consideration is that it takes a lot of time and effort to try to sort out the truth, especially if they're trying to do so remotely from Amsterdam. And in a business where people crave anonymity and discretion, it’s sometimes just impossible to know for sure. I saw an ad recently from a fellow named Taylor Grey with 6 excellent reviews and 3 poor reviews. The 1-star reviews apparently had such a negative impact on the guy’s business, that he devoted a whole paragraph to address it in his description, basically claiming that one disgruntled person, who he’d refused to meet with, was submitting a steady stream of bad reviews out of vindictiveness. I find this quite plausible, but it could also be that the 6 excellent reviews are bogus and the 3 bad ones are genuine. Unless the reviewers have a clear track record, I don’t see how RM or potential customers could know the real story.

https://rentmen.com/JakeWetmoreXXX

In addition to things others have mentioned, I like the POV or “point of view” camera angle, which makes it easier to imagine oneself in the scene. I apologize as this is a bit of a side note, but this thread got me thinking about the purpose and effects of pornography itself. I’ve seen a number of articles recently suggesting that it may be harmful to mental health and sexual function. http://www.nytimes.com/2016/07/08/fashion/mens-style/anti-internet-porn-addict.html?_r=0, http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2016/04/porn-culture/477099/ I suspect much of this is just a cover for moral prudishness, but I suppose it’s possible that there’s a grain of truth in it…at least in the sense that watching a lot of porn may have some negative influence on one’s real-life sexual encounters. For example, I find that I tend to push the sequence of things into the typical order shown in porn scenes, with a focus on the climatic moment, just as in porn. It is a struggle for me to get out of this pattern and be more spontaneous, to enjoy the moment, instead of thinking of the next step in working towards the ultimate “goal” of climax. I strongly suspect these mental processing issues are related to all porn I’ve watched, which my brain is probably trying to subconsciously imitate.

Rock star indeed! Wasn’t there a thread about him previously? Ah…here it is: http://www.companyofmen.org/threads/411-on-czech_jock.113538/ The underscore made it hard to find through the search function.

Bump

Clients on the forum have often said that they pay for companionship because they want an intimate connection with someone, or at least the illusion of one, without having to worry too self-consciously about their own physical appearance: their age, their weight, their receding hairline, etc. Perhaps it’s part of human nature to want to be attractive to others, or at least not unattractive. Yet the same group also frequently comments, sometimes quite callously, about the physical appearance of those seeking to be hired. Sometimes they politely say, “he’s just not my type.” But sometimes their comments are not so neutral. They compare. They pick apart photos. They joke. They belittle. Someone’s getting a little older, a little flabbier, putting on a few pounds, has too many muscles or too few, an unconventional tattoo or a bad haircut...it can be noticed and commented upon. Undoubtedly, there’s a lot of this outside the forum as well. Of course, the business is inherently asymmetric in this respect. As with models or Hollywood stars, escorts put pictures of themselves out into the public domain and hope to be paid in part by how people react. And whether spoken or unspoken, people make judgments about how others look. As someone pointed out recently, even waiters perceived as attractive get bigger tips. So, none of this should be surprising and having thick skin is part of the job description. Still, I can’t help but think this kind of thing must have a psychological effect. Even people who would score well above average looking in any survey might still have body image/self esteem issues if they’re not in the top 1%. Plus, since no one is everyone's type, there's always going to be someone out there who finds you unattractive and doesn't hesitate to let you know. So, to the escorts out there: how do you deal with critical comments about your physical appearance? Can you brush them off or do you find that they really affect you? Have you been able to develop a thick skin about it and do you have any tips on how others can do the same? And, recognizing that clients here are going to talk about your looks, what are the most and least offensive ways of doing so?

In medieval times, an accuser who failed to prove his case could be made to suffer the same fate that would have befallen the accused had he been successful in prosecuting the case. This approach really cut down on civil litigation. http://www.medieval-life-and-times.info/medieval-history/feudal-justice.htm

But what if the person asking for the “3-fingered selfie” is actually a fake escort/scam artist rather than a real client? He could then steal the escort’s photos and misuse the selfie to “authenticate” his identity in the future. It might sound far-fetched, but some people will go to amazing lengths to get money without having to work for it. Certainly, I recall instances in the last year when someone misused Andrew Maroc’s pictures for his own backpage ad and someone else used Alec Andrews’ pictures for some scam on Grindr. http://www.companyofmen.org/threads/touch-of-bliss-hot-matthew.108723/#post-1014614, http://www.companyofmen.org/threads/beware-canadian-scam-using-alec-andrews-pics-grindr.106868/#post-992628. What if these scammers also have a “3-fingered selfie” to give you if you questioned their identity? I know some people have had bad experiences giving out additional photos as was discussed recently in this thread: http://www.companyofmen.org/threads/do-you-send-additional-pictures.114797/

I hadn’t really been following this thread, but just the other day I was thinking, “Where is QTR? I haven’t heard from her in weeks. I miss her posts.” Well, here she is again, and I, for one, am glad. I also believe that the administrators of this site have made clear that women are welcome here, so I don’t think it’s really fair to suggest that this forum is just for gay and bisexual men (even though most of us probably are). I do tend to agree with you that people should be considered innocent until proven guilty, but I think reasonable people can disagree about how far to take this concept. Certainly, in this country, the State is supposed to prove that someone is guilty beyond a reasonable doubt before sending the person to jail. But if the State can’t meet this burden, that doesn’t mean the accused person is innocent. The accusations might be false, or they might be true, but without sufficient corroborating evidence to secure a conviction. In this situation, I try to assume the person is innocent because I think trying to guess at the truth based on inconclusive evidence is unfair to the accused and would leave him/her vulnerable to general prejudices I may hold, even if unconsciously. On the other hand, I have to admit there is something to saying, “where there’s smoke, there’s fire.” Suspicions and rumors and circumstantial evidence may not be reliable enough to justify jailing someone, but they may be enough to reverse the burden of proof in some people’s minds, if not in a courtroom. This may be unfair and have unfortunate consequences if the person was falsely accused, but it’s not crazy or irrational.

There has been quite a lot of speculation about that, but I suppose you would have to ask the feds to know their rationale (assuming they have one, which is a rather generous assumption I think). Maybe it was simply easier for them to collect evidence against RB than others to suggest they were illegally promoting prostitution. Carrying a business card that said “cyberpimp” probably didn’t help the website’s owner. Or, maybe they decided to go after the largest site to have the biggest impact with the minimum cost. Or, maybe this was just a trial balloon, and if they’re successful in this prosecution, they’ll be going after other websites next. Just another reason to contribute to the legal defense fund as far as I’m concerned. http://www.companyofmen.org/threads/heres-a-way-to-voice-your-outrage-over-the-shutdown-of-the-rentboy-website.109618/

A related question: if you don’t have a single “anchor” lined up for a potential trip, but you’ve seen clients in the city before, do you reach out to them before buying your tickets and committing to the trip? No one has ever contacted me under these circumstances, and I’ve never understood why not. Wouldn’t it reduce the risk involved with traveling to at least try to secure a few appointments in advance? [Of course, this question applies to travelling masseurs as well as escorts.]