treatyoself

I'm pretty inexperienced and know I'll get awkward and nervous if I meet with one of the many gorgeous guys in NYC. I'm curious if anyone knows of one with a really funny sense of humor or some otherwise quirky/offbeat style that would make it at least be an interesting and amusing story/time even if that sex isn't out of this world or ends up not exactly happening (im pretty easy to please)

Being completely serious here, it sounds as if you need a trainer AND a good therapist. A trainer-slash-escort is not going to fix you.

 

Insecurity around people you perceive as 'better looking' won't go away with gym time or having a good-looking guy working with you. This feels like an issue you need to talk about with someone who is familiar with it and can work you through these feelings in a healthy, professional way.

 

Physical motivation and body reform is awesome, but a trainer's place is to stick to form, diet and weights.

 

I'd say leave the heavier lifting to a licensed mental health professional. I wish you well sir

I definitely do see a "proper" therapist, once a week actually, and I also attend a "support group" type meeting, also once a week, that is moderated/run by a great psychologist. And I am able to discuss/work on my sex/dating/relationship/self-esteem/body image issues during those sessions (especially in the one-on-one therapy).

Once upon a time, I actually used to exercise very regularly (played lots of competitive sports through my school days) but didn't have the mental roadblocks/baggage that I do have now. So the gym (matters of form, technique, gym equipment/machine, etc.) is not foreign territory for me.

I'm still chewing on this idea! But I've honestly tried a variety of different approaches in an effort to rekindle my former interest and motivation in working out, and genuinely think this idea (though not fully fleshed out nor defined) is worth giving a shot based on the bigger picture with regards to the different idiosyncrasies of the slump I've found myself in.

I definitely don't think it'll be a silver bullet and I also don't think I would need this type of "outside-the-box" approach forever (more so as a short-term solution to jumpstart my engine and hopefully eventually I can take the training wheels off and self-motivate better).

Appreciate all the feedback! It's been very helpful!

oh do i have stories! my only concern is the original poster tying true fitness with making it about getting laid. now i know the number 1 statistic for people joining a gym is to get laid but ones fitness goals has to stay within him or herself. it sounds fun and all having a training session with an ahem... cardio session afterwards but the slippery slope can and will be i'll get to the gym IF i get laid. in other words.... i dont want there to be a correlation of getting laid to personal fitness..... no fuck today then i'll skip the gym.

Yes, I see your perspective but to be clear I actually don't require physical interaction be part of the arrangement. I just figure someone who is both a able to do personal training as well as having a sex worker background will be understanding of some of the mental roadblocks getting in my way motivation-wise and have patience as I don't expect to suddenly become a fitness buff overnight.

I figure this b/c I imagine, well, many trainers/escorts are quite fit and super hot, while many of their clients are more average joe types or maybe simply have self esteem or other mental roadblock issues that leads them to pursuing intimacy through that way. And I imagine many clients will even express sort of being in awe of our feeling as though the escort is way out of their league and needing to sort of muster up some confidence before actually going through with a physical/sexual interaction, or maybe even initially feel worse about insecurities they might have when one-on-one with the presence of someone whose job is partly to, well, be beautiful.

I know i'm oversimplifying, assuming things, and making generalizations, but my hope is that someone with this dual background/experience would help me retrain my thinking thus reform my motivation a bit and get me inspired or at least keep me interested in returning to train through conversations about these topics that weigh heavily on my mind and often deter me from following through with working out.

Before I go to bed I just wanted to quickly and sincerely thank all of you for your feedback and input. I feel encouraged by all your responses and although my idea is still a bit half-baked I have a sense of optimism that I might be able to come up with an arrangement that fits my idiosyncratic needs.

I look forward to pursuing the various tips, leads, and recommendations offered by you all and hopefully will be able to post updates here soon about the progress I've made in finding a good fit.

Thank you thank you thank!

I had one up here in Canada some years ago who blended a very rigorous routine with vigorous rewards. He put 30 lbs of muscle mass on me over the first two years, a 20% weight increase, and huge strength gains. I had been thin, not overweight.

 

I just took extra employment to partially finance it. Worth every penny.

Sounds a lot like what I'm looking for. Might not even need the escort services per se included, more just looking for the conversation around sexual health and stuff.

I'm looking for a personal trainer that can help my current dilemma of really deep-rooted lack of motivation.

My lack of motivation has to do with my sex life frustration.

I know health should be a motivator but the reality is that I primarily want to get into shape to boost my self-esteem and improve my romantic and sex life.

I'm curious if finding a trainer in NYC (slight preference for someone gay vs. gay-4-pay) with current or prior experience as a sex worker might be a good fit to get me motivated by being able to chat about these psychological and sex life topics to keep be engaged and learning about my mental road blocks.

I guess you could say I'm looking for a fitness trainer that could double as a sex therapist!

Thanks i advance for any leads, recs, or other ideas! Private message or replying here is great!

I met with one recently I negotiated "generosity" with on grindr. So pretty, perfect hole.

Sounds ideal!

Like Alex Vaara before he got buff? Or average build young guys with cute hair/peach fuzz is cool. Just like a shy type

Anybody know any cute young shy twinks in NYC?

To be clear, I'm describing myself!

I live in Manhattan these days. I'm in my early 30's and simply have had a long dry spell and think it would actually be a healthy activity for me for various reasons.

Any ideas, recs, or tips? Feel free to alternatively PM me.

I'm on the RentMen site right now and Ian Frost kind of piques my interest based on having seen him in adult videos. I like pretty boy twinks to jocks and otters. I honestly don't have a concrete plan in mind as to what I'd want to do, perhaps just some "boyfriend experience" intimacy. I'm a sucker for sweet guys with some kind of innocent or quirky quality.

Yup! I enjoy Chaturbate but hoping to take it up a level

I think I'm a voyeur.

I'm not sure if maybe I'm just shy or timid about engaging with escorts/masseurs, but I do really enjoy the idea of watching, directing, capturing male beauty and erotic action.

I've done some photography and videography work in the past (though I've always considered it more just a hobby) and indulged in some sensual male photography shoots and flashy male fashion photography shoots just for fun.

I know there are some photographers who do almost exclusively male beauty portraiture and have had a lot of success in every sense of the word from focusing on that niche (off the top of my head, Paul Freeman is a example of this). For some reason, that doesn't quite interest me. I suppose I'd like to do something a little more subversive, discreet, and original.

Anyway, I'm just curious if there are other visually-oriented voyeurs out there and what they happen to do to satisfy their urges and desires. Though admittedly it might be just a stepping stone before diving into play/interaction with escorts and masseurs, I'm curious if there are any intriguing message boards/forums, events, activities, clubs, online communities etc. that cater to gay male voyeurs' fantasies.