Oliver

... I'm a true twisted individual, but that's what happens for being around Oliver and friends too long ...

Hmmph! This coming from "Mr. Pretzel".

... for Jackhammer. Hopefully he is well ... My best to Shadow.

He's doing well, just out of town for the weekend.

Shadow says "ARF".

Wailing Wall

Once again acting as surrogate for jackhammer -

Wailing Wall

A reporter goes to Israel to cover the fighting. She is looking for something emotional and positive and of human interest. Something like that guy in Sarajevo who risked his life to play the cello everyday in the town square.

In Jerusalem, she heard about an old Jew who had been going to the Wailing Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time. So she went to check it out. She goes to the Wailing Wall and there he is! She watches him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turns to leave, she approaches him for an interview.

"Rebecca Smith, CNN News. Sir, how long have you been coming to the Wailing Wall and praying?"

"For about 50 years."

"What do you pray for?"

"For peace between the Jews and the Arabs, for all the hatred to stop, for all of our children to grow up in safety and friendship," the old man replied.

"How do you feel after doing this for 50 years?"

"Like I'm talking to a fucking wall."

...Lawyer Jokes ...

Hmmmph! So much for being your surrogate.

On behalf of jackhammer:

As surrogate for jackhammer, I submit:

Skinny little white Irishman goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this huge black guy standing next to him.

The big guy sees the little Irishman staring at him, he looks down and says: '7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pounds of testicles, Turner Brown.'

The Irishman faints and falls to the floor.

The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him.. The big guy says, 'What's wrong with you?'

In a weak voice the little guy says, 'What EXACTLY did you say to me?'

The big dude says, 'I saw your curious look and I figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me................. I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch penis, my testicles weigh 3 pounds each, and my name is Turner Brown.'

The Irishman says:

'Turner Brown'?!....Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, "Turn around"!

...As far as the Clients ... a little "Help in the Bedroom" for the Old Geezers!

Watch it, Buster! Careful who your calling an "Old Geezer" (even tho I am!). Some of us need some help after prostate cancer.

I ... can get along in Italian.

As evidenced by your review of Dane Scott today!

For my friend in Ohio... The clerk asked, "Would you like me to put them on your bill?" ... "Thit no!" Donald quacked, "I'll thuffocate!"

Thufferin Thucatash - I laughed mythelf thilly!

Just love puns!

...some are groaners, but many made me LOL ...

 

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian. Groaner

 

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work. Sounds like one my father would have told

 

20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. LOL ...

Per my father: "This could run into money", said the monkey as he peeed in the cash register.

... meeting people who share my interest in escorts and don’t find me some kind of pervert for doing so.

What kind of pervert would you like to be when you grow up? }( It has been fun!!!

... this post makes 1000 for me.

You are my role model! ;-)

$2.18 in Columbus ... and all four candidates were here over the weekend. They really want Ohio!

And he was my first!!! :9

Used to work in a bank (loooong time ago). In the customer base were these names:

Waunta Diddle

Ima Hoar

Of course, there were also:

Rolin Tennis Ball

U. S. Peters