Many of you know that I am “of a certain age”. Also that I have experienced and overcome some serious health issues. Presently I am in very good health and enjoy being able to do a lot, as I am totally free of those prior problems. I also know that my time for doing and enjoying is limited because of “my certain age”.
Then along comes 2020 and “The Virus”. I have followed what I think is responsible activity and have observed the protocols both in California and here in Ohio by wearing a mask in public, washing my hands frequently, practiced “social distancing” (hate these terms that have arisen – probably indicating “my certain age”), limiting my associations with others, etc. I found it necessary to cancel this year’s Palm Springs Weekend, but have tentatively scheduled one for 2021, hoping that it can happen. Comments in the thread on the Weekend have prompted this post. I won’t be able to do this forever.
Now I come to the reason for writing this. I find that I resent not being allowed to do those activities and have those experiences I am still capable of doing and having. This is probably not the gracious and appropriate attitude to have concerning this situation. I have mulled over my feelings regarding this matter and finally decided that resentment best describes those feelings.
I believe I generally have a positive outlook on life and living, not subject to depression. Depression doesn’t describe my current state of mind. Obviously there is some anger involved. I also realize that my outlook is probably entirely selfish. I have been blessed with a wonderful life, but while I’m able to do, I would like to do!
