samandtham

Among friends, I strike up a compromise: We speak the language we are trying to be good at. I speak French to you, you speak English to me.

A friend living in Switzerland had a similar experience. She had to ask someone on the phone if she can speak High German because she had difficulty understanding Swiss German. Now, I don't think "High German" connotes the level of its prestige nor do I know how Swiss German is perceived by the Germans as a language, but the person on the phone sounded rather frustrated, according to her.

Wow! So many wonderful responses! I live in New York City, but I was born and raised in New Jersey by Asian immigrants. I was bilingual growing up—spoke my parents' mother tongue at home, and English elsewhere. In a way, I didn't consider myself bilingual back then just because I had understood the dynamics of being Asian-American when it came to the languages we were able to speak, which is almost always at least two. French was the first complete "foreign" language I learned, in college as part of a free elective. I enjoyed the idea of being able to speak another language, but back then I didn't know how to continue (and couldn't afford classes at my local Alliance Française). Only when I started working that I was able to afford classes, the occasional tutor, and being able to commute to local francophone groups. Several trips and three-month-long work-related obligations to Québec, Brussels, and Paris provided the necessary training to make me better at it. I am by no means fluent, but I am certainly capable enough to be able to actively switch my modes of speaking. (Another friend said of his frustration with Italian: "When I try to speak Italian with someone, my brain still translates to English. That's why it takes me twice as long to respond to someone's question, because not only did I translate what someone just said to me, but I also have to translate my response—which is in English. I want to get to the point where this doesn't happen anymore.") German was the next language. I met a group of exchange students from Germany back in college, who a year ago "resurfaced" on Facebook, and extended an invitation to visit their country. I want to be at least ready with some decent beginner's-level German when I see them again after years out of college. I'm in the process of learning Italian now (have only had a total of five hour-long sessions with a professional language instructor). My knowledge of French helps some, but largely, it's like starting from scratch. I have no specific reason for wanting to learn it, save for the challenge of being able to speak a fifth language. My European-French-speaking friends—particularly one lifelong Parisian who admits to turning on subtitles when watching Franco-Canadian films—find Quebecois French to be peculiar, not only because of the accent, but because they (Quebecois) speak an archaic form of French. Where European French, whether Swiss, French, Luxembourgeoise, or Belgian, were able to modernize at around the same cadence, Quebecois French remained largely unchanged from its 17th-century roots. Interestingly enough, if you were to study French in Quebec, they teach you standard (i.e. European) French. You would be taught that going shopping is "faire du shopping," but the second you step out of class, everyone around you says "magasiner."

I've been very curious as to whether that often-said, but not sweepingly substantiated, bit about Americans being hopelessly monolingual is true. Among my friends, I'm the only one who speaks a foreign language (three, in fact) with decent to upper-intermediate command. They're always surprised whenever I tell them this, or demonstrate it in an occasion where it's appropriate. (Most recent experience: Friend: "Oh, you went to Quebec? Did you get to speak to them? I heard they're iffy with Anglophones." Me: "I did well. Spoke French with them. Had a good time." Friend: "Wait, you speak French?" Me: "Yeah. I've been learning and speaking for two years now." Friend: "...") When I ask them if they can speak anything else not English, they would say that they used to (i.e. They had to for High School), but have forgotten it since the class ended. Curiously enough, when I go to Craigslist or Meet Up to try and look for a language group where I can practice, there isn't a shortage of like-minded enthusiasts. I understand the difficulty in being able to keep at it, being in America and all. But is this the only reason why a lot of us are monolingual? If geography is the only hinderance, then shouldn't we have some grasp of Spanish through our Mexican neighbors, or French from the Quebecois, owing to their proximity? There are a lot of "Little Italy"s in major cities, but I hardly hear Italian being spoken there; a bit of a contrast when I visit the same city's Chinatown. How is it in your circles?

That sucks. He's definitely good-looking!

Sigh, I hope I had read your advice earlier. I searched for the Abercrombie guy that I had the hots for in high school, on Facebook. He looks so different now: Beer belly, balding, terrible sense of dress. I'm not really the type that looks back to the past that much, whether it's the life that I led or the loves that I had. But when I shared my earliest "I'm queer" memory, I got curious as to how he is doing a decade after I saw him last. I was disappointed, for sure, but it wasn't like I was crushed--I knew for certain that the people I interacted with in high school will change, and only time will tell whether this is for the better or otherwise. In his case, time wasn't too kind to him. The funny thing about nostalgia is that it rarely lives up to what people hope it would offer.

During Freshman high school, a good-looking dude sat in front of me during class. He was regulation hottie; kind of like an Abercrombie model-in-the-making. He wore boat shoes without socks that he proceeded to take off as soon as class started. I remember thinking to myself, "Damn. Those are some beautiful feet" as I proceeded to not pay attention to anything but him. I did befriend the guy in question, and we hung out for a bit, but nothing came out of it. The friendship kind of died after a year.

I was at Secrets yesterday for the first time, after hearing conflicting opinions about the place. I have to say, it is a little boring if you come in it thinking it's like regular strip clubs where you can go to a room to get a lap dance from a guy you like. Here, you can't touch below the chest and above the knees. The most you can get in terms of an interaction is to come up to them, chat with them a bit while they dance, and slip them a few ones (only on their socks!). As a club, though, it's fun--I actually forget that a naked dude is just a few feet away from me when everyone's having a great time dancing. My recommendation is to go to Secrets when you know there's something going on, like Voltage or something like that. If you go here during a "regular" night, there's not much entertainment to be had, beyond looking at a hot, naked guy who may or may not have an erection.

Wasn't he with Buffboyzz before? The tattoo tipped me off. Anyway, yes, he does work nowadays at Adonis Lounge. I didn't enjoy his lapdance much. He's very disconnected and seemingly uninterested. English is not his first language as well.