Hispanic boy

Just wondering if anybody else does this dumb thing or if it’s just me.  I only started hiring about 3 years ago, but I can see a pattern. (Okay, only twice, but still…). When I hire a man repeatedly because there’s great intimacy (at least from my perspective, I start to lose my grip on the reality and develop feelings.  I misread cues and think there’s a mutual thing developing.  Then the reality has to hit home that I’m not a romantic interest or even a hookup interest and I wouldn’t be there if I wasn’t paying. The man I currently see regularly - he pushes all my buttons physically and emotionally, and I could fall head over heels for him.  But I see him in rooms with guys who are hookups, not clients, and he talks about trips in which he meets someone in a room, they chat and are hot for each other, and travel to meet.  And it has to hit me then that I’m not one of those guys he met because he was attracted to them.  Big blow on both my ego and my heart.  Anybody else? Thoughts? Suggestions? And you don’t need to tell me it’s all my own fault - I already own that.  

I have an upcoming trip to Houston and am interested in finding a hotel with an active cruisy health club, spa, steam room or bar. Does anyone have recommendations? Thanks. 

https://rent.men/Aden_Taylor/
https://rent.men/ZoroTheEscort

Your experience sounds about like what I'd expect. Thanks for sharing. He's plastered like 100 photos of himself at his bodybuilding peak. Then he seems to get offended or be terminally skeptical that a man would take his obvious bait.
In my case he tried to gaslight me. When I sent a text "Not Cool" to his standing me up, he replied that he'd texted me the day before our planned get together and I never replied. There was no such text. I can't think why he went to such efforts to portray himself as a "good" guy and me the flaky one, but I wasn't born yesterday.