ApexNomad

No one should ever feel ashamed for being a virgin. But I don’t think remaining a virgin automatically gives someone clarity or makes them immune to bad decisions. People mess up for all kinds of reasons, and that’s part of being human.
Sex isn’t inherently the problem—it’s how people approach it that can be problematic. When done with the right mindset and respect for yourself and others, it can be one of the most fulfilling and meaningful experiences. It’s not about losing anything; it’s about gaining connection, confidence, and understanding.
At the end of the day, it’s a personal decision. For some, staying a virgin feels right, and for others, exploring intimacy is part of their journey. What matters is making the choice on your terms, free from shame or pressure because that’s where real clarity and power come from.
I lost my virginity to a provider well over 40 years ago—a very different time from the tools we have now. It was one of the best decisions I ever made. We spoke on the phone beforehand, and I even met him in person before going back to his place. He was incredibly kind, patient, and understanding. I’m not saying he wouldn’t have been any of those things if I hadn’t told him, but I can assure you, the fact that I did share that with him made him treat it as every bit as special as it was.
In my opinion, it’s really important to be upfront about your needs and circumstances. While it might feel intimidating, honesty and transparency go a long way and it will also weed out the providers who don’t take the request seriously. I also think the advice about paying for a provider’s time as if it’s “date” is really solid. It can help calm your nerves and also give you a chance to see if this is someone you feel comfortable exploring your body with. What you want is a safe space, and I think finding that in today’s culture, and respectfully at your age, may prove difficult. There are many active providers here who can give you that safe space.
If hiring a provider feels like too much right now, consider starting with an erotic massage as a stepping stone, as others have said. It’s a great way to get used to human touch in an intimate, safe, and professional setting. You might find it helps you feel more relaxed and in tune with what you want from future experiences.
As for the idea that an escort will exacerbate your social issues by making it too easy, I disagree. A provider isn’t a permanent replacement for genuine social connection, but they can help you take an important first step. Building confidence and experiencing intimacy in a safe, judgment-free environment can be a stepping stone to opening yourself up to future experiences and relationships. For me, it was incredibly empowering and life-affirming.
I was VERY lucky with the provider I met. A true professional will meet you halfway, but you also need to be willing to do the same. It’s all about finding someone who respects where you’re coming from and works with you. Best of luck to you!

I think it’s fine to ask, especially if it’s important to you or high on your preference list. Just keep it simple: “I like hairy guys, do your current pics show how you look now?”

That’s going to vary a lot. “Too old” isn’t a number so much as it is about what you want out of the encounter. If the goal is penetrative sex, the body might set limits sooner. But if the goal is companionship, touch, conversation, or even one-way pleasure like a blowjob or massage, age really isn’t a disqualifier. It just depends on your objectives and what makes the experience meaningful for you.

I’d say your expectations are completely reasonable. If you’re paying for companionship, you’re not being picky in wanting to actually spend time together on the trip. Everyone needs personal time, but disappearing for half the day, especially on a short weekend, sounds more like he’s maximizing his own vacation rather than prioritizing you.
Communication is key. You’ve already done a few trips together, so this really should have been addressed the first time around, not several trips in. This is exactly why you need to be clear about expectations up front. No provider should be telling you on a trip you’re paying top dollar for, “I need my personal time.” That kind of comment is a big turn-off. At the end of the day, you’re paying for a fantasy, not their reality.
So approach it directly but calmly: tell him mornings matter to you and ask if he can adjust so the time feels balanced. If he pushes back or minimizes it in anyway, that’s your red flag. Honestly, that alone tells you what you need to know, you’re not getting what you’re paying for, and it may be best to move on. You’re a repeat customer and deserve better.

Time’s a luxury we all can’t afford to waste, so why keep engaging with someone who doesn’t seem to value it? It’s like giving your energy to something that’s never going to give back.

Why? I believe there are psychological and fantasy-driven elements as to why some clients seek out “straight” providers. 
There’s a perception (whether accurate or not) that straight men embody a more traditional, unfiltered masculinity. Some clients may see that as more attractive or dominant.
There’s the taboo factor. The idea of “turning” a straight guy, or at least being desirable enough to make him cross a boundary, is a common fantasy. It plays into power dynamics and the thrill of the forbidden.
There’s the ego boost and validation. Some clients may feel more validated if they can attract or seduce a straight man, as if it confirms their own desirability.
I would surmise that for some clients, straight providers may bring a different vibe compared to openly gay providers, sometimes less performative or more detached, which can be appealing to certain clients. (Though I’ve had a few “gay” providers that were equally detached.)
Clients who seek out straight providers may also do so to prevent any potential for emotional connection. 

The term “Daddy” can mean different things depending on the context and the person using it, but it generally refers to an older, more mature individual who exudes confidence, stability, and a nurturing or protective demeanor. For some, it’s about physical attraction to someone older and more experienced, often tied to a sense of security or wisdom. For others, it may carry a financial undertone, where the dynamic involves a desire for support or being taken care of materially.
When younger people say they prefer “Daddy types,” it could be purely complimentary, signaling admiration for qualities like maturity, charisma, or life experience. On the other hand, it might hint at a relationship dynamic they’re seeking, whether emotional, psychological, or financial.
The term “Daddy Issues” usually refers to unresolved feelings or patterns stemming from someone’s relationship with their father, which might influence their preferences or attachments in adulthood. But it’s important to remember that not everyone attracted to “Daddy types” fits this stereotype—sometimes, it’s just a genuine preference!
Ultimately, it’s a spectrum, as you said, and context matters. If someone seems sincere, they probably are. And if their interest feels transactional, well, at least they’re being clear about it! Nothing wrong with cutting through the posturing and having an honest conversation to figure out where you both stand.

It sounds like you genuinely enjoyed the time you spent together, and it’s understandable that you’re reflecting on the dynamic now that communication has shifted. Relationships with escorts can sometimes blur lines between professional and personal, especially when there’s genuine warmth and connection during your time together. However, it’s also important to remember that their friendliness is part of the service they provide, and they may have personal boundaries about communication outside of arrangements for work.
The change in communication likely isn’t about you doing something “wrong” but more about him setting professional boundaries, either intentionally or because he’s managing his own time and energy. Escorts often interact with many clients and may choose to keep communication primarily focused on scheduling.
To move forward and if you want to hire again, you could say something like:
“Hi [Name], I just wanted to check in and see if you’re open to planning another trip or meeting sometime soon. If you’d prefer to keep our communication strictly about arrangements, I completely understand and will respect that.”
This approach acknowledges his boundaries while keeping the door open for future interactions. It also signals that you respect his time and space, which is likely to be appreciated. If he doesn’t respond, it may be best to let it go and not take it personally.
More than anything, try not to second-guess yourself or overanalyze the past. The connection you shared was genuine, but it’s important to remember that his distancing likely isn’t about something you did wrong. It’s more about his own preferences or boundaries, and that doesn’t diminish the value of the time you spent together. Focus on what made the experience special for you, rather than seeking definitive answers about his current behavior.