phil_hunter

I asked the administrator.

It was apparently deleted by the original poster. No idea why.

Let's see if we can get back on track. The OP is "starving for some hot encounters" and "yearns" for a particular provider who, unlike OP's previous providers, does not use a condom and says he's on PrEP/Doxy PEP. OP had been on Truvada for 4 years, stopped last year, and hasn't had sex since then. He "wants to have unprotected BB sex." He asks for advice on getting back on Truvada. So now there are risk/benefit choices to make. Option 1: Forgo the desire to have unprotected BB sex, forgo this provider, and return to having sex with condoms or remain celibate. Pros: safety. Cons: not as much fun as he wants. Sexual activity is part of a healthy life; celibacy is not cost-free. Option 2: Skip the Truvada and have BB sex with this provider. Pros: fulfills OP's yearning for this provider and his desire for unprotected BB sex. Cons: if the provider is not being truthful and is HIV+, there is a health risk. Option 3: Get back on Truvada (and presumably take Doxy PEP after sex to prevent STIs). Pros: Have BB sex with the provider without worrying about HIV. Cons: Taking a daily medicine indefinitely may have long-term effects, particularly with relatively new meds like Truvada. OP didn't specify whether he had been taking Truvada daily or doing the "2-1-1" plan. The latter might be Option 4, since it would avoid the "daily medicine" issue. I think there is consensus here that each of us is responsible for his own health, so Option 2 is not popular. Faced with a similar decision, my personal choice, not shared by all, has been Option 3. I am accustomed to daily medicines, from risk-free OTC meds like vitamins to more serious, prescribed meds. Also, I am reminded of friends who are still here because they were able to take daily doses of AZT, horrible as it was, and the friends who aren't still here because there was no AZT. I was lucky enough to have avoided HIV, so I am eligible to take PrEP, but I understand that the calculus for younger men is different.

You're correct. I don't know that they're taking care of their health, and I'm protecting myself in case they don't. I think it may be more likely that they're doing that than someone I might meet at a bar, because it's in their professional best interest to do so, but I'm not counting on it.

I faced a similar situation, returning to an active sex life after a long dormant period. I talked to my doctor, and he started me on PrEP and Doxy PEP, and I get tested every three months. I joke that I may be the oldest person in SF to have started PrEP and Doxy PEP. (I'm twice my doctor's age.) I have sex with providers only, and one of the reasons is that I know that they have to take care of their health. My regular provider and I have actually never felt the need to talk about this. I know that he's responsible for his health, and he knows that I'm responsible for mine. We have really great BB sex. Of course, if I wanted to use a condom, or if I wanted him to use a condom, that wouldn't be a problem. Also, I laughed at this. At my age, adding one more daily pill was not a burden.

https://rent.men/GymCakes This guy is terrific. The details in his RM profile are accurate. His face is blurred in the photos, but believe me, he's quite handsome. I've seen him a few times and I intend to see him again. He is friendly, empathetic, totally fit, and a lot of fun.

Tip about RM profiles and photos: If you want people to believe you're 29, don't tattoo your birthday on your shoulder (7-8-89). 😀

The first contact with a provider is over email or text, and it's good to have certain things in writing (dates, rates), but a vibe-check is also important. A phone call is better than a typed message (spcly 4 thos who dont type vry well) because you get a lot information across in a short amount of time. But a video call could be even better. There are so many visual cues that could help both the client and the provider make a better guess as to whether getting together would be fun. It wouldn't need to be very long—this is not a job interview—but I've seen comments in this forum that recommended setting a meeting to chat, and in this post-pandemic world, I think Zoom would be easier. Less driving, for one. But I'm a techie, naturally inclined to tech solutions, and maybe most providers or clients would prefer plain old text. Too much trouble? Too intrusive? (Picking a background image could be fun.)

Another newbie question. I understand masseurs who provide happy endings, and I guess that masseurs who advertise that they're tops can top you when you're already face down on the table. But how does it work when the masseur makes it clear, either in the description or with a series of photos, that they're bottoms? Not clear who's massaging whom. Or maybe I just lack imagination. 😀 (Funniest thing I seen on a masseur's page: "10 years of experience massaging people all the way to horses." I have no idea what that means!)

Thank you, everyone, for your responses. You've been very helpful. I took the advice of looking for a 30+ masseur who does erotic massage, rather than an escort, just to get started, and I've now seen Alex Neto a couple of times. He's amazing. We talked, and he doesn't care about my limitations. It felt so great to be touched again, all over. Thanks for your encouragement.

I'm a newbie, but I think the key is to look for the option/service called "Erotic Massage." That's what's used on rentmen.com and rentmasseur.com. Then read the profiles and reviews to see whether they're primarily a masseur who gives happy endings versus an escort who does some massage. Also, here on companyofmen.org, go to Daddy's Den > The Deli and search for the provider's name to see whether anyone here has commented on them. If not, you can always ask about them by creating a post called "411 on <provider>", where 411 is shorthand for "information." I've found that the people are responsive, friendly, and supportive. When you find a provider who looks good, send them a text or email, as @McKeeD said, and have a direct conversation. (I'm seeing my first masseur tomorrow!)

I should add that I live in San Francisco.

I am an older guy, still in good shape, working out twice a week, reasonably presentable, and easy to talk to. But I'm really self-conscious about my sexual ability. I was successfully treated for prostate cancer 10 years ago. I can have an orgasm but I don't ejaculate. I can still get hard, though typically with the help of a cock ring or ED pill. Even when I don't stay really hard for long, it still feels great. It takes a while for me to climax, and sometimes I don't get there. I'm happy to bottom; I like toys. But it's been a long time since I had sex with anyone, and it's time for me to experience physical intimacy again. So how do I find a provider who will have the patience that I need? I don't want to seem like "a lot of work." Maybe I should start with someone who does erotic massage, where they're accustomed to taking their time (and oil sounds like fun!). Eventually, I'd like to find someone to play with, so he's having a good time, too. I feel as if that's a lot to explain when contacting a provider, a bit much to leave in voicemail, but this forum is filled with the advice to be very clear when contacting someone. So how do I manage that?