leigh.bess.toad

I saw this on Facebook yesterday. I don't know if the letter is real, but if it is, the man is a genius.

Dear Mrs. Woolf,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Woolf, are listed below and are "documented by our video surveillance cameras":

1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5- minute intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted in management getting involved causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to reserve a bag of chips.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers they could come in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department - to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' Emergency Medics were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose. 10. September

10: While handling guns in the Sports department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!

15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where the fitting room was. And last, but not least:

16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the Staff passed out.

I woke to -15 degrees, -30 windchill this morning! I LOVE IT! Absolutely fuckin' love it!! LOL

You know I love you, but BITE ME!!!!

Hey guys I was born and raised here in Southern California and thought there are a multitude of things I don't currently like about California one of them is definitely NOT the weather. It was 74 here in Orange County today.

As one of David-sf's friends responded to him on facebook today, "I love you, but bite me".

Leigh are you sure its not all the hot air that usually comes out DC

On the weekend? You expect them to be here on the weekend? Really?

It's only 52 F (11°C) in Brussels tonight and it has been a very very mild winter so far.

 

I look forward to experiencing that polar vortex everyone is talking about next week when I hit the East Coast. :-)

 

[/color]

Well the day of the luncheon, the forecast is for a high of 52. Colder on Saturday, with a high of 36, but still not too bad for DC in January. No polar vortex while you're here. Sorry. Too much heat with too many hot guys coming to town, I guess.

I thought our Boston weather was bad, but you guys are really getting it really bad. Only one solution--find a hot guy (guys) to keep you warm inside and out. Dane Scott must have an "in" with Mother Nature and headed to warm, sunny Palm Springs in the nick of time.

 

Stay warm and be real careful going outside.

 

Boston Bill

I've been kvetching at David-sf today who was complaining it was so cold in PS at 61 degrees today. Poor David. Poor Dane. I don't want to hear it.

I mentioned PnP and drugs in my query because certain recreational drugs are very much tied to the small groups of fisters that I am recently acquainted with here in Boston. Particularly, T, X and G. 420 also seems prevalent. Their use being an aid to relaxation etc. Also seems to contribute to much longer sessions and variations in play among the group.

And I"m concerned about the correlation of the use of those drugs in other settings with unsafe sex and an increase in HIV transmission.

Maybe this is what you need?

Just hoping for some comments/suggestion for exploring this fetish....is this something some escorts can provide? Any experience or thoughts would be welcome. What role does PnP or drugs play in this scene?

Rich. I am assuming that you mean the escort would be doing the fisting? Yes there are escorts who can and do this. I know of several off the top of my head. And yes, I have been fisted by one of them. Trust me, there was no PnP or any drugs of any sort whatsoever. I wouldn't recommend that, but I also have a huge aversion to PnP in general. I do know of one escort who has been the fisting bottom in porn but don't know if he does this with clients.

If you have more questions or want to talk more, send me a PM.

Steven -- thanks so much. You have NO idea how badly I would love to do this version at karaoke. This is my partner's favorite song for me to sing to him at karaoke. It's sort of become "our" song (well, his song. I prefer to sing him Evergreen). And I would kill to be able to do this version. Because as it says "The gayest man on earth would call this over the top!".

Thanks for the reminder.

One of the truly great TV lines, "A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants."

That line alone should have gotten the scriptwriter into the Scriptwriter's Hall of Fame. What a brilliant episode.

and the old favorite, "I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy"

You messed it up a bit there. It's "I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me than a pre-frontal lobotomy"

Really?

Luka Rocco Magnotta (born Eric Clinton Kirk Newman; July 24, 1982) is a Canadian pornographic actor and model accused of killing and dismembering Lin Jun, a Chinese international student, then mailing his severed limbs to political parties and elementary schools.[7] After a video allegedly depicting the murder was posted online, Magnotta fled the country, becoming the subject of an Interpol Red Notice and prompting an international manhunt. He was apprehended at an Internet café in Berlin while reading news about himself.[7]

He was previously sought by animal rights groups for allegedly uploading videos of himself killing kittens.[8]

The above was taken from Wikipedia. I hardly think he is the cutting edge of anything except a very long prison term.

For those who care about such things, the guys has a rich history of bareback porn. And, yes, he is mighty sexy...

Exactly my first thought.

Have you gotten hold of JJ?

The link doesn't work. Says the ad has expired. Any more info?

Thanks Kevin. Well there's something I didn't know. I really appreciate it.

PS: I highly recommend Raul.

As do I.

Jay Holt is probably retiree number 3, as Josh Riley retired (and his retirement was announced) rather early this year.

Possibly, but the only thing is that there is no review by Bart of Jay Holt, and normally Bart is one of the most reliable about reviewing a session, especially a first time meeting. Again, it's possible, but I'm just wondering if there is someone else.

Bart -- I know one of them was Ace Banner, but who was the third?

I think on the right guy that little bit of tub can be some sort of .....OH SO SEXY!

Damn, all this working out for nothing. NOW I find out he likes a little bit of tub. Great. JUST great.

Just remember BVB. Abs are made in the kitchen, not in the gym.

Shared with me this morning by my favorite now-retired escort:

"Old people at weddings always poke me and say "you're next". So I started doing the same thing to them at funerals."