Ldiaz

Hi friends, I felt I should come back to give closure and the full spectrum to what was one of the most important and substantial friendships I had the opportunity to have as a young man. When I wrote the above message about NshaneZevon he had just left to NYC and it was a soul crushing experience and brutal because it was abrupt and sudden and I felt left like a deer in head lights looking for answers. Everything I wrote about NShaneZevon is completely true and that's unfortunate, it's devastating for anyone to have to see others suffer in order to regulate emotionally but yes people like that exist. But it wouldn't be fair to not give every color in the rainbow of what our friendship was. It's hard to describe but I was happiest next to him, best description is think of a grandpa reading a bed time story by the the chimney fire and grandkids siting around his feet listening with eyes of amazement and wonder. That's what it felt like, I called it "The Warmth" the fraternal and big brother vibe he would exude every time I sat next to him felt like it was seeping deep into my soul and mending broken fragments of my childhood where I perhaps I lacked father figure type validation, it felt as if "Brother Bear" came by and was healing the wounded areas of my soul I learned lots of "man type" work and labor by watching him and doing projects with him. I never imagined myself enjoying cleaning a house, or polishing a car or mowing the grass, but when Brother Bear was involved I would count seconds and life was perfect for those few hours we did the task. One of the most substantial benefits outside of the affection I was lucky enough to feel was how he introduced men to the beautiful world of plants. Creating a surprise botanical paradise for my mother while she was away on a trip to Colombia was on of the most paramount experiences I had. My life literally took a shift to what is now a full-time business I created as a direct result of that day. Somehow I combined my discovery for the rustic beauty of driftwood with my passion for Orchids and Landscaping (IG/FB "BotanicaLight) The adventures that me and brother bear would have trekking through various central Florida woods/swamps extracting and uprooting driftwood are forever impressed in any heart and I go there everytime I'm sad. I can't walk around a LOWE'S without shedding tears in silent because I see his smile every time I walk into the store and my heart hurts from nostalgia and gratitude I learned from Brother Bear how to be a support to elderly parents, how to be a responsible and loving pet owner, how to be a gentlemen around older women and how to groom properly as a young man and always look my best even on a limited budget It's heartbreaking to see someone as amazing as Brother Bear suffer from a personality disorder as devastating as NPD, the agony from how these people erode you of your sense of self worth and how you feel invisible when you are being invalidated is a pain I can't put to words. I know that the destructive behavior pattern is only a defense mechanism from their own pain, and it can be lethal in some cases to the victim. But I would not be honest or fair that I not include everything in the spectrum, there were soul crushing moments of utter invalidation that hurt to this day, but I also got to live moments of affection, tenderness, love, warmth and cathartic fraternity that mended lacerations of my soul that I will forever be grateful for Physically I don't think I ever saw a more perfect dick, and he's got the torso of California Surfer, and watching work on a car shirtless with a cigarette half lit in his mouth while simultaneously speaking and giving instructions gave a new meaning to the term "masculinity" that I didn't know existed I hope this gives a more in depth full spectrum honest picture, The below fotos are the best way I can describe what our 3.5 year friendship felt like to me, and are literally kind of what it looked like for us after a long day of work With Love and Respect Luis

My previous comment has been removed because of violation of personal information being shared so I will go ahead and re-comment without breaking the rules. I meet NshaneZevon in 2019 on Grindr, Went to give him a blow job and then we actually hit it off as buddies I completely became obsessed and loved this human being he’s a few years older than me so he became my number one Role model. Narcissistic personality disorder is a severe psychological condition in which the person cannot empathize or care for others or anyone other than himself. When our friendship got to the devaluing stage my life became a literal nightmare, The abuse dishonesty was severe I asked and NshaneZevon from day one if he was an escort and he denied it turns out every other thing that came out of his mouth was a lie. Our friendship Consisted mostly of me waiting in the car for hours while he was either at a hook up or just hanging out with other buddies. It’s hard to forget the time he told me to drive him to a hotel with some hot dudes but that I would have to leave right before the fun started (sending an indirect message that I was ugly and not attractive enough) it’s hard for anyone to be a good lover they are so self-absorbed especially if you are a hung top you need to be extra considerate of your bottom. The experience could either be thrilling or very uncomfortable and painful. NshaneZevon even only cares about himself He can put on a good performance that he cares for others but it is just a mask. If you want an experience with a very good hung top try all the other ones because you waste your money with this one

Just let me additionally note the suffering, humiliation, disrespect, gaslighting and overall overbearing abuse does not in anyway justify that slightly larger than average overrated and overpriced dick that hands between his legs. There are infinitely better fucks on rentmen do not support this piece of shit