Simon Suraci

Sub is an attitude, a dynamic, a preference to submit; not an act or a sexual position role. While bottoming often is considered a submissive act and lots of subs like to bottom, not all penis-in-hole action happens in the context of an insertive partner “dominating” a receptive partner. A passive, submissive top can be dominated. For example in a cuckold situation, where the dynamics are such that the bottom is performing an act of rebellion, control, or even revenge, depending on the scene. The focus is not on the bottom “submitting” to some other lover, but rather using the third party to dominate the first party, in a way. I’ve bound tops to my table, pleasure tortured them, employed impact play, edged them, and sat on their cock, to milk their load in an act of total control and domination. This scenario is less commonly requested, but it’s definitely a thing. Submission and domination are not about who is “insertive”. It’s about the dynamics, the headspace; who is willingly (sometimes wantonly) relinquishing control, and who is actively taking control. I should note, a switch is a thing. Someone can submit in one encounter and dominate in another. Sometimes even in the same encounter, but I seldom see these situations manifest in the same scene. Being a sub can be an identity when one assigns it to himself, however, submitting once, sometimes, or even most of the time does not define someone as a sub. To submit is a verb. A sub is only a noun when one owns the identity within the context of a finite scene, or perhaps permanently when one identifies this way. That’s up to the individual to self define. In short: sex acts alone do not define dominance or submission.

^Simon says: Here is a link to a comment I made on a specific provider re: this very same topic.

Ask for what you want. That’s the best way.

I saw Grant earlier in 2025. He’s excellent. Very knowledgeable, experienced, and quite skilled. His rates are reasonable, in line with therapeutic only offerings. Amazing value for the quality he delivers. I highly recommend him for therapeutic bodywork. I got the sensual upgrade and personally it was not worth it to me. I said this about Michael and I will say the same applies to Grant. Some guys are exceptionally good at therapeutic, but very few are equally as good at sensual/erotic. YMMV. I will return for therapeutic work. Re: deposit policy. Grant charges a $20 deposit. Clearly this is not a scam to rob deposit money as he has a stellar reputation and the low amount is about the principle of the thing, to help him weed out unserious, flaky people. After refusing digital payment, I told him I would pay the deposit in cash, insisting on dropping by his place in Pt Loma to drop it off. He said anyone serious enough to make the trip just to drop off $20 was going to show up, so he waived the fee. I didn’t ask him to waive it; he offered, trusting my display of good faith. I really was going to drive there and do it. As a masseur myself, I understand exactly why he requires a nominal deposit, so I respected his policy. I just figured you guys should know he has a deposit policy and want to encourage you to not be put off by it. He’s not a fly by night masseur looking to steal small amounts of your money. He’s a good guy trying to protect his time. If the risk of $20 is really that much of loss for you, maybe hiring $120+/hr services is out of your price range anyway. I do not like or advocate for deposits generally, and do no charge them myself, but in cases like this, it’s obvious to me why he does it and that he is not going to cheat you.

Clients vary in terms of their preferences, but also in their bodies. I second pretty much all that @Jamie21 has to say, plus the following. The majority I find like to position their manhood downward. I interpret this display behavior as an invitation to engage with their bits. It’s not always for that reason though. For some, it’s simply more comfortable. Perhaps they have a downward curving/pointing cock and positioning it in an upward direction would be cumbersome or even painful if they become erect. Erections are certainly a hazard in my sessions! Same goes for arching / lifting their ass, spreading their legs to the edges and beyond the ends of the table. Although it’s way more obvious this way. On my table, no ass goes unattended to, so you need not worry or go out of your way to present it. Assuming you maintain good hygiene, of course. Without a basic level of respect, I will not be doing all the erotic ass play stuff. Please don’t be one of the men I have to discreetly wipe due to foul odors and residues. I swear some of my 70+ and 80+ clients are the worst offenders, but I believe they are simply clueless. Not from a lack of respect, but a lack of awareness. Still. Come on, guys. Can you believe a client the other day asked me to f*ck him after I did the whole wiping thing at the beginning of the session? And it wasn’t just a little bit. It was like he didn’t even do a first pass at the toilet. He could stripe a few meters of roadway with those skid marks. God, the shit we deal with. And you wonder why we charge so much for the work we do, all with a smile on our faces and compassion in our hearts. At least the good ones. We truly do the lord’s work. I digress. Some men have a smaller and/or a more retracted dick, especially the more corpulent guys, so it really doesn’t matter for them, as nothing is going to be presenting itself so obviously or bending very far in any direction. I had a guy recently that apparently had a full on erection, but I didn’t know so until I felt around and pulled it out away from his body. Like coaxing a turtle out of his shell. So cute. Yeah. So various reasons for positioning one way or another. We’re all different. A good sensual / erotic masseur will figure out what you like and engage you erotically without all the fuss regarding how you position your body. It’s really not that complicated. Hire those experienced skilled guys, relax, and let the magic unfold.

You might try searching the Spas and Masseurs section using keyword SF and/or San Francisco. I’ve heard many good providers are located in SF. Your search would turn up many results for you to read through and help you develop a shortlist. Do some research and then share your shortlist with links to the masseur ads and ask for members’ input on the options. A separate thread with a title specifying the area you are looking in SF would get the right people to view it. Asking the whole country and beyond to give you personalized recommendations to your local area is probably not going to yield the targeted info you seek. As to your more general topic of masseurs who offer equally skilled therapy, extras and sexual favors, many providers across the country would fit the bill. To your point, it is difficult to find masseurs that provide the whole shebang with equal skill - at any price point. You may want to clarify what your expectations are regarding pricing. So many clients here want or expect a high level of sex work services with a skilled therapeutic massage, but for massage pricing. Quite a few providers fit the bill, but they tend to charge equitable rates in line with going sex work rates for their services. You will hear stories on here bragging about how clients got sex work services for massage prices, but this isn’t the norm. Expect to pay equitable rates for sex work, especially for a quality provider delivering a high level of skill on both fronts, precisely because they are so valuable, desirable, and good at what they do. If you expand this topic to cover outside your local area, I bet you would get some more responses from clients discussing their favorites in their local areas and frequent travel destinations.

Please note this article discusses sex trafficking. Law enforcement is interested in stopping sex traffickers, as they should. In-person sex work services may be illegal, but not immoral. Nobody is getting hurt. Sex trafficking is both illegal and immoral. The real problem here: vulnerable people being taken advantage of, controlled, or compelled to work for the enrichment of the people trafficking them. That’s what we really want to stop. Not consenting adults engaging in commercial activity. Most providers discussed on these forums work for themselves. They are not trafficking others nor being trafficked themselves. Accounts of sting operations in the M4M commercial sex space are quite rare. I can recall only a few anecdotes discussed on these forums to date. If we hear about these stories anywhere, it would be here.

This is my impression too. It’s not typically the sole source anymore for a client to see the ad and book - unless MF is the provider’s ONLY mainstream massage ad. Those days are over. So yeah, I don’t see the point. Lots of $ and lots of hoops for little to no new business we wouldn’t already be getting from other advertising sites.

I finally ended my MF membership last month. I’m sick and tired of all the strict policies, exorbitant fees, and low return on investment. I have been on the fence about leaving for a long time. To make the decision, I conducted a test. I ran generous specials for two weeks, something equivalent to 50% off, just to see if that would attract a lot more inquiries. I expected many, but only got a few hits, mostly from visitors. The visitors business doesn’t really help because the idea is to bring in new potential repeat business, not someone who would likely see me only once. I appreciate the bookings, but tbh these people would have booked me at full price anyway. The other hits were from clients who also viewed my RentMasseur ad and were asking for the discount. One of them booked me through RentMasseur and then a day later viewed my MF profile and asked after the fact if he could get the MF special I was running. That was the last straw. I canceled his appointment, telling him that I could no longer give him 100% of my effort. I would rather not have the appointment than deliver subpar service knowing this client is willing to pay full price but now isn’t because I was running the deep discount test. I canceled MF right then and there. No regrets. I get plenty of business from RentMasseur. If anything, I am using the savings to double down boosting my RM ads with paid extra advertising features. So far it’s working nicely. So basically I have been paying MF a steep premium for the privilege of having to discount to get new business…when all the while most clients are viewing my RentMasseur ad anyways. And many of them are willing to book me at my normal rates. The value is just not there, at least not for me. MF works best for therapeutic only providers.

Thought I would share this article which features David Geffen. He started his relationship with a young model on Seeking Arrangements (what it was called at the time). It’s an interesting portrait of how some view the site as enabling predatory behavior, but as many have discussed here, the site facilitates the start of a variety of healthy and not so healthy relationships. Drugs, Paid Sex and No Prenup: David Geffen’s Divorce Drama Goes Public as Mogul’s Ex Files Explosive Lawsuit VARIETY.COM Donovan Michaels has sued Hollywood mogul David Geffen for breach of contract, claiming that Geffen treated...

My clients are all so different from one another. Each experience varies widely. It’s all about reading the room. Massages I go with the flow and let the client take the lead. I engage when the client seems genuinely interested in a back and forth conversation. At some point, most clients settle in to the massage and relax, so I let them quiet their mind so they can get into their body and the metaphysical energy exchange, sensuality, eroticism, and therapeutic releases all over their body as I work. Some of the best chats I’ve had with clients are after we finish their massage. When there is time to linger for a while (nobody booked right after), and they are chatty, I indulge them. Escort clients run the full gamut. I have a guy that barely says one word throughout the whole session. Another likes to chat about everything in our lives, sometimes over many hours, with lots of sex interspersed in between conversations. He hires me for multiple hours or overnights, so it’s more conducive to chit chat. I like chatting with my clients when they like it, and I am an open book. I stay quiet when they seem less interested in chatter. Some people just really need to be heard, understood, and validated. I’m good with this too.

Great point. It’s impractical to maintain a license in every state to which one travels. I may only work for a week in New York once a year, or once every other year. Hardly worth maintaining a license. Same situation for a dozen other states in my case.

RentMen must be getting ready for compliance in the case of legal rulings requiring them to act quickly in some or all jurisdictions in the US to avoid getting shut down. Maybe the “glitch” is a programming issue unintentionally turning the feature on / off.

Yes, some clients hire me for piss play.

Yes, it’s a thing, and oh so pleasurable. I guide clients into the orgasmic states you’re looking for. True, you can learn it on your own with some access to information online and in books, but it’s way more fun with a provider. It takes practice, patience, an interest, belief that it’s possible, an open mind, and a willingness to learn. Most men lack one or all of these. Also, sometimes it takes multiple sessions depending on the person, their experience level, their body, and individual circumstances. It’s a heavy investment in terms of time and to some extent money, but moreso time and patience. Men prefer instant gratification. Providers offering what you are looking for are exceedingly rare because of all the above limiting the market demand for the services you’re seeking. We’re out there, but not in every city or neighborhood. You might have to travel or hire a traveler to find a good fit.

Howdy Texas! You missed me, didn’t you? Aw shucks, I miss you too. Hosting for three weeks at my private single family rental house in Oak Lawn with convenient street and driveway parking, within walking distance to bars and restaurants along Cedar Springs. Taking clients incall 8:00am-midnight daily This is a courtesy notice to give you community members priority advance scheduling if you would like to see me on this trip. Please note, Dallas is my busiest city; I book up to nearly 100% capacity every day of my visits here. I advise booking ahead. Be advised: I continue to learn and grow! I keep incorporating new moves and techniques, innovating and improving all the time. While the best aspects of my work remain, you get even better work from what you may have had from me in the past. As always, I am available for all the naughty things too.

I had the pleasure of meeting the leopard himself the other night for a group massage exchange. He’s a beast! Unique, creative, intuitive, wild, uninhibited, and dare I say in the best possible way…absurd in his approach. He will have you moaning and groaning with pleasure in no time. Fair warning, it’s a bit messy with all the nuru gel going everywhere on the table, no sheets, and full body contact. I say just embrace it and go with it, lean in to the experience. He’s nothing if not memorable. And sexy too. Oh and by the way, his feet are, shall I say…dextrous?! Don’t @ me. Reach out to him directly for any questions.

I agree with @azdr0710’s comment above. @DunwoodyGuy explained a lot of what I might say here about mutual touch, link to thread below for reference. Really, everything varies from masseur to masseur, so I can’t speak to everyone’s experience. Above all, be respectful. Let him do his thing. Let the masseur initiate sensual and erotic interactions. A lot of us, like me, do. Others may be harder to discern. It’s ok to ask when you’re unsure if it’s ok to touch him. He could say no and you need to respect that, but most of the time he will say yes. When he does, be gentle and go slow. When he pulls away or moves your hand away, respect that. He doesn’t want to interrupt the massage to verbally communicate physical boundaries, so respond to his physical cues. Respond to his massage physically and verbally. Give feedback. This sets the mood and encourages your masseur to touch you in the ways you like, to go further, deeper, maybe more sensual, or more erotic as you give feedback. Here is another thread below where I elaborate on this point. @tantric leopard makes a similar point in his thread below, although his private gallery photos make it very clear what types of things are happening in his massages. You don’t always know which masseurs will do what. I met an attractive masseur the other night who charges $300/hr for his sessions but he only allows a bit of mutual touch, nothing that erotic or interactive beyond it. Many of you here will note this falls closer to the escort rate range. Unsurprisingly, he is only doing three massages a week. Others like myself will regularly go much further in his level of interaction with a wide range of clients for something closer to $150/hr and have many more clients a week. Point being: Price isn’t the determining factor. It all varies. Then again, still others fall along the YMMV spectrum, choosing who, when, and how far they go depending on the client, the connection, chemistry, looks, body type, equipment, hygiene, etc. Sometimes things happen, and sometimes they don’t. The best advice I can give is 1) do your research, 2) ask the right questions, 3) be open to whatever will happen, and 4) respond to your masseur’s touch in a way that encourages him to go as far as you want him to go. He may not always go as far as you want, but your feedback encourages him to go as far as he is willing to go. Laying there lifeless, unflinching, and silent isn’t likely to inspire him to go there with you. Re: advice point 2 above. Try not to be creepy or craft a script for him to follow. Keep your questions general. If it’s not already clear in his ads that sensual or erotic work is on the table, ask for it. It may be a matter of pricing or confirming something general like yes he offers sensual massage. Sometimes the less you know, the better. Asking very specific questions like, “Will you rim my ass?” will scare many of them away, creep them out, or make them uncomfortable seeing you…even when the unspoken answer is otherwise “yes”. Your masseur may or may not feel comfortable doing this or whatever (fill in the blank) activity for you, and he may or may not feel comfortable saying so, especially in writing. Have good hygiene. Shower beforehand, use soap, and scrub all parts of your body. If you’re hopeful about ass play or getting fucked, make sure to properly douche beforehand. Same goes for oral sex. Wash your dick. Maintain good oral hygiene. Hygiene matters a lot. It sometimes makes the difference in whether your masseur will incorporate more erotic elements for you.

Let us know if he follows through. Did he require a deposit?

Take responsibility for your own health. Mature, responsible adults do.

Bruce Jones agreed to meet up for a paid group escort session for my client this week. The client selected him months ahead and Bruce engaged with me initially right away, but then was slow to get back (days) and eventually confirmed all the details, rate, date, and time (after weeks!), then I contacted him a few days before to confirm we were still on (silence), same day (silence), and one last message to confirm the group is starting without him. Still crickets. No acknowledgment whatsoever. This was both texting and on RM Messenger, by the way. Oh well. Yet another flaky escort. It was a freaking easy job too, with attractive men doing almost anything we mutually wanted to do as the client watched on. His loss. We had fun without him. If he can’t bother to show up, or even apologize after the fact, he’s not worth your time. I hope he was worth it for the clients for whom he actually showed up. This is one reason why I tend shy away from most porn stars and content creators: they don’t take their in person work seriously. Some are good, but so many are not, or do not offer in-person services at all. I’ll have to circle back if/when I create content. Maybe he is better when creating content.

I run into this issue too. I see my doctor quarterly for PrEP, but I prefer to test monthly for STIs. My doctor schedules one follow up visit for STI testing and I have to request the second follow up visit at the first follow up visit. Oftentimes my doctor forgets to order the tests for the follow up appointment, and for the second appointment all bets are off. Your doctor has to order the tests. Some cities have free or low cost testing clinics specifically catering to the LGBT+ community. For those of you having a more difficult time receiving reliable care through your doctor, you might try clinics for STI testing. I know not every doctor is in the habit of ordering labs for STIs, and can forget to do so even if they’re willing. Some clinics are easier to schedule with or even do a walk in appointment than traditional PCPs.

We already manage so many platforms. Another messaging app or separate platform to check and get alerts from is just one more distraction we don’t need. Some of us want to find out as much information on potential clients as possible, for our own safety. We want to know who is going to be reliable, safe, and respectful. Some providers refuse to see clients who have VoIP numbers or only use Signal, Burner, or others. Some platforms won’t deliver messages containing explicit language. I reach out to potential collaborators sometimes but they never get it because my message had one or more keywords the platform blocks. Now I keep my initial messages clean.

I agree with much of the above. A pro will give you the time of day. At least the time of the session to be fully engaged with you.

Hot! 🥵 I do these scenes from time to time. The most important part is consent. Occasionally you have to stop when someone revokes consent, and that is ok. When it gets too real and the sub is not enjoying the scene or something unexpected happens, like a serious injury, you have to pivot.