Here’s What This ‘Queer Cripple’ Wants You To Know About His Sex Life

[+ HornyRetiree]

I know there is one forum member who works with disabled clients @David-SF

 

"The 33-year-old disability awareness consultant, who has cerebral palsy, is the creator of DisabilityAfterDark, a brand that includes podcasts, blogs and presentations about sex, sexuality and disability. According to his website, DisabilityAfterDark offers “a unique glimpse into sex and disability that shines a light on the intersectionality of sex and disability, the fun found in sex and disability, and the vulnerability of sex and disability that we very rarely talk about.”

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/andrew-gurza-queer-cripple-sex-hero_us_596e2304e4b010d77673f22f

[+ Lance_Navarro]

Yup, I know Andrew, he's a great guy and doing really cool things in the disabled queer community, including a sex party for the disabled. He wrote a great article about his experience with David, which has been shared several times on the forum.

 

I've also worked with several men with various disabilities over the years. My most incredible experience was when I spent 4 days with a 72 year old man who was in a wheelchair and had never been with a man previosuly. He wrote the most incredible review which is on here, and is over 3 pages long.

[+ stevenkesslar]

According to his website, DisabilityAfterDark offers “a unique glimpse into sex and disability that shines a light on the intersectionality of sex and disability, the fun found in sex and disability, and the vulnerability of sex and disability that we very rarely talk about.”

 

I recently got together for several days with a client that had part of his leg amputated earlier this year. This was not new to me. Over the years I've had a number of clients with similar disabilities.

 

What made this encounter different was that I've known this particular individual for over a decade. During this entire period he's had more or less chronic health issues that were teed off long before I met him by a disease that is likely genetic. Due to various health issues, like a colostomy, there are parts of the "normal" sexual repertoire that simply are not an option. That's never really been an issue, other than occasionally he'll express frustration that he can't do things that are common in porn movies, like anal intercourse.

 

I wasn't quite sure how to handle this recent get together. My biggest specific fear is my house has lots of stairs, and in the years I've known him, when he had both legs, he usually avoided stairs and preferred to use ramps at hotels because his legs had been damaged by various prior infections. I approached it the way I usually do, and tried to err on the side of minimizing it and not making it a big deal, although I also didn't try to avoid talking about it.

 

It took me all of about 10 minutes to realize that in some ways he has an easier time getting around than he did before, because he was fresh off therapy on how to use his prosthetic leg. So stairs were actually less of an issue than before.

 

Everything he had been through this year framed a large part of our discussion. He was particularly proud about the fact that he has gotten involved with the disability community and went on a trip to DC to lobby Congress. What probably was the most inspirational to him was the stories of people he'd met who had gone through really rough and sometimes nearly fatal accidents that seriously damaged their bodies and bounced back.

 

Probably the most surprising thing to me is that he'd never heard of Amy Purdy, the gorgeous DWTS finalist and paralympic snowboarder. I showed him this video, which he loved, and it helped set the tone for our time together.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1izYiX5LyrE

 

I can't say this without sounding self serving, but afterward he made a point of letting me know that it was really an affirming experience for him. It was the first sex since his amputation, so that made a difference. But what he said in particular was that even within his own family he sometimes feels like he is treated as a victim, whereas I just seemed to treat him like a normal human being who happened to have a little bit different body. Mostly I just tried to compliment him on how well he is doing and go with the flow and make it all feel sexy and normal.

 

What I have always found a little remarkable is how many points you score when you basically just treat people with common decency, as opposed to being a freak. I have always found that to be true, whether it's people who are obese or have erectile dysfunction or had an amputation or a colostomy.

 

My view is that sex is pretty much always about opening yourself up and making yourself vulnerable. So it doesn't seem like this should be as much of an issue as it is.

[+ HornyRetiree]

What I have always found a little remarkable is how many points you score when you basically just treat people with common decency, as opposed to being a freak. I have always found that to be true, whether it's people who are obese or have erectile dysfunction or had an amputation or a colostomy.

 

Entire post was so refreshing to read! Wish there was a LOVE button!!!!

[+ stevenkesslar]

Entire post was so refreshing to read! Wish there was a LOVE button!!!!

 

This is the closest I could find to a LOVE button.

 

 

I mean, I know Ryan is Straight. But I'm an open minded and tolerant guy. I'd settle for a kiss from him.

[+ Axiom2001]

This is the closest I could find to a LOVE button.

 

 

I mean, I know Ryan is Straight. But I'm an open minded and tolerant guy. I'd settle for a kiss from him.

 

I find Ryan to be a "mouth's overdose." ...would love to kiss him into oblivion and, and...!

[+ stevenkesslar]

I find Ryan to be a "mouth's overdose." ...would love to kiss him into oblivion and, and...!

 

and.......and................come on, don't leave us hanging.

 

I mean, blue balling is bad enough. But please. No blue mouthing.

[+ HornyRetiree]