Gulliver..my friend

[jackhammer91406]

Each of us measures life by a different sets of values. Sometimes we share similar values with people we meet. All of us, I think, would attach great value to having financial security, strong family relationships, good health, and great friends.

 

When it comes to friends, I would say I have made many acquaintances in my life, but my list of friends is much shorter. I spent time with a number of them this past week. I cannot say that my set of standards is any higher than anyone else. I do think that many people, if asked, would say the same thing; I have enjoyed meeting many people, but not all of them are friends. I don’t say this lightly, and I am not lessening the enjoyment of seeing acquaintances.

 

You know how sometimes you can meet a person for the first time and something clicks? It’s like you were born with the same vocabulary, tastes, and set of priorities? Did that ever happen to you? And sometimes you will meet someone who takes you into their life and in turn, shares yours? The trust is immediate . IMMEDIATE.

Well, that is what happened to me last October when I met Michael in RIO. I spoke in my journal then of meeting him through Tomcal (thanks Tom).

 

In life, we sometimes measure happiness, success and contentment by our possessions. It’s a natural thing to do in today’s world. I would add to that, that having friends like Mike ranks right up there on the scale of why I am a blessed man.

 

What makes Mike so special? I guess you would have to say in addition to his great sense of humor and ability to enjoy the moment, it’s his giving nature. He would be embarrassed if I told of his philanthropy, and the organizations that benefit from his generosity would be too long to list.

 

Mike is a man who is like a finely cut diamond. There are just too many facets of him to see all at once. Each facet has it’s light and beauty, but when seen in total, the brilliant effect dazzles you. Mike is like that.

 

If it’s true that a man is judged by the company he keeps, then I must be one blessed somebody.

 

Thanks Michael for your friendship and generous spirit. Is was very gracious of you to let me use your home this last week for my trip to NYC.

 

Ray

[Guest rohale]

>Each of us measures life by a different sets of values.

>Sometimes we share similar values with people we meet. All of

>us, I think, would attach great value to having financial

>security, strong family relationships, good health, and great

>friends.

>

>Mike is a man who is like a finely cut diamond. There are

>just too many facets of him to see all at once. Each facet has

>it’s light and beauty, but when seen in total, the brilliant

>effect dazzles you. Mike is like that.

>

>If it’s true that a man is judged by the company he keeps,

>then I must be one blessed somebody.

>

>Thanks Michael for your friendship and generous spirit. Is

>was very gracious of you to let me use your home this last

>week for my trip to NYC.

>

>Ray

>

 

 

In my humblest of opinions, what you wrote about you feel about Michael and your observations of relationships and people are very touching. You summed it up beautifully. You also ask some very poignant questions. In terms of meeting someone for the first time and being on the same page and having identical things in common. Yes, this has happened to me. When I was 17 yrs old, I befriended a person by the name of Thomas and he and I had many things in common. From table mannerisms to love of chess and having interest in having the ability of playing musical instruments. The interesting aspect is when I first to know Tom, we were both two intense young kids determined to prove to the world how brilliant we were. It wasn't to be so. As time went by from competitiveness, we developed a mutual respect to eachother. As I got to know Tom, I realised that I'm not in the same league as him. He is one the most cerebral human beings I've ever met. His mind works wonders, he's quick on his feet and he doesn't tolerate procrastination. At times he can be arrogant but I think that is part of what defines his character. I've learn't a lot from him and I know he would say the same thing. I'm very grateful to have him as a friend. I don't see him as much as I would like, he lives in St Paul, Minnesota with his wife and their daughter. We talk on the phone quite frequently. I still miss his presence, he's a good man.

 

I also happened to meet two people who befriended me and made me a part of their families. When I first came to the States, I really didn't know anyone and being new, I was very nervous and adjusting to my new surroundings. Being from a different country, I have an accent and for the most part, that's what people initially like me for. I had to take drivers education in high school. Since the school that I attended was not equipped, we had to go to a different high school because they had the facilites. On our first day, there are four of us waiting for the instructor. With nothing to do, I saw this old antique piano and I started playing some tunes. This particular one guy comes up to me and asks what the hell I'm doing and I told him to go bugger off. He obliged but came back a few minutes with a guitar in his hand and I thought this guy was a complete nutter. He starts playing along side me and I stopped and got up and left. After class, he walks up to me and tells I need to lighten up and that was the first time I heard the word dude in a sentence. I told him his playing was absolute rubbish. The Next day, after class this particular person sees me at the bus stop and the next thing I know, his car stops and he and his dad offer me a ride home and it was out of their range. I was at his house, he apparently had told his parents about me. So his mom and dad start asking me questions about my background and I ended moving to America and life was like back home. The next thing I know is the dad says to me that if I needed a job or financial assistance, he could help me. I didn't know these people but I was quite touched by their generousity. I realised that their son seemed to take a liking to me and I knew that we had practically nothing in common. I was given their phone number and I in turn gave them mine. Not too long after that their son gives me a call and asks me if I would be interested in hanging out with him and his friends. At the time I couldn't remember his name, so I said yes and I went to the beach and asked him what his name is and he laughed at me. Like you Jackhammer, this guy's name turned out to be Michael. I instantly realised that I could trust him and we've been best of buddies since. I've learnt a lot from him. Due to him and a couple of others, I have a deep appreciation for the water and I learn't how to surf and it's become a part of my life that is embedded in my fiber as a human being and all because of my buddy Mike. He's one of the coolest guys I know and I trust him all my heart. In the process, I met and befriended a guy by the name of Sean and we're both complete opposites but we get along great. I always make him laugh. He's learn't to appreciate the intellectual side to life. His family took me into their hearts and treat me like one of their own. It was strange in the beginning but now they will never know how much they mean to me and I'm humbled to have come to know them. It's been a good expererience.

 

Jackhammer, you mentioned about spending time with friends. Quite recently I took a holiday abroad to a country that once was a part of my life. I got to spend some time with my family and friends that I grew up with. I have bits and pieces of history with these people and it was very nice and most treated me like they had only seen me yesterday even though I last saw some of them last christmas. Still it was a pleasant feeling and after my holidays were over, I realised how much I'm going to miss them. You know Jackhammer, I'm really happy for you because there are so many people out there who take friendships for granted. You talked about something is very meaningful in your life. I hope you get to see Michael more often and in the same token, I hope you continue your travels and hopefully you will meet as many new and interesting people along the way. You deserve tremendous cudos for starting a thread like this one.

 

Rohale

[jackhammer91406]

Thanks for your remarks.

 

I have been fortunate in the past two years or so to meet some amazing people when I traveled. It has made a big difference in the quality of my life. It's an important part of waking up each day and looking forward.

[Guest rohale]

>Thanks for your remarks.

 

No, thank you for writing such a fantastic post and being open about your experience.

 

>I have been fortunate in the past two years or so to meet some

>amazing people when I traveled. It has made a big difference

>in the quality of my life. It's an important part of waking

>up each day and looking forward.

 

 

I did get your email and really enjoyed reading what you had to say. I was out of town and I have a backlog of emails. I promise I will get back to you at the earliest chance. I wanted to add something else. Back in March I went to Vegas to see an old family friend. He works for BBC Enterprises and he was only in the States for a few days. I met him at Monte Carlo and he talked for hours and one thing he mentioned that I felt was quite profound. He said to me you can never have enough friends in the universe. He has said this for many years and everytime I hear that statement, it never feels stale because I tend to think it's true. He's not only older but wiser. I saw him three weeks ago in Europe and I told him what he had mentioned to me months before. He laughed and told me to mark my words because at some point in life, he believes this could turn out to be true. I think he could be right.

 

Rohale

[gulliver]

Thank you for your beautiful post. I was in Budapest when I first read it and thought I'd let a few thoughts kind of sit for awhile before I responded to it as I thought its message deserved a special reply.

 

When i first came out in the mid 1960's it was a heady time. New sexual feelings, much travel, and meeting many new people. Some for quickies, others for friendship but the MAJOR theme of that time of my life and what I feel when i look back is that - travel within gay circles was an experience of much HOSPITALITY. There may have been many quickies but I never needed to know anyone in advance of a visit to a new city as just walking into a bar and meeting other gays meant that there would be new friends, dinner companions, places to stay, friends to come visit me in my hometown - kind of the feeling of belonging to a special "club."

 

Many of us lost major chunks of our life history and our circles of friendships as we grew older, went about our careers and went thru the losses of the AIDS years and all of a sudden found ourselves in middle age kind of foundering a bit.

 

It was wonderful sharing time with you on the Atlantico Hotel rooftop one afternoon and just chatting about our lives and our past. That was the base for the friendship we have now, Jackhammer, that special sympatico of being connected. Just as your life has opened up much in the past two years and you are on your voyage of self discovery - many of your buddies also are. It is a beautiful thing.

 

FOr those of you reading this who are not in the know - many of us have met recently in our travels to Rio and there is a core group of about 15 who all hang together and communicate frequently. What a wonderful experience meeting such great guys in Brazil and the rediscovery of " belonging to a special club". It is funny, I know when I am in rio, there will always be some people to enjoy quality time with, chat, dinner, and the future looks like a lot more of the same. That is why i choose to build Casa Gulliver there - i think that big dining room table of more than a dozen will be quite full much of the year. It is certainly a lifestyle much bigger than the sauna scene for those of you who have read a bit of escapades in Rio as a lot of us go rarely after the newness wears off. And then there is Tomcal - the newness will NEVER, EVER, wear off. I could name another dozen but you all know who you are and I would not want to forget a name. For those readers who are not aware - check the South American message board here.

 

For those readers who experience missing that "ole group of buddies" from the time we were all 21 - might want to spend a vacation in Rio.

Not a day goes by where I do not feel deeply thankful for the friends I have made over the past two years in my travels there and for the rich life we all share. Thank you for your post.

[Juan Vancouver]

People....

 

Wow!...

 

It never ceases to amaze me... :o

Hapens to me when I read a good book, watch a good movie, hear a great symphony, stare at a painting, a sunset, a child, some deep understanding eyes...

Reading all your posts, I experienced a strong awe and peace. The certainty that the miracle that some people call soul is always being grasped, undesrtood, felt.

It is an amazing day in Vancouver, everything is beautiful, fresh, clean and bright. The energy on the streets is that of radiance and filtratious confidence (it is Pride weekend), and your words have helped me to clarify my own feelings about Pride.

I am proud of being a human being, like you, guys. And I am striving to stay in this connected state of openess and friendly trust as long as I can.

(A voice in my head just said; "Man, what a terribly corny, kitschy post you just wrote!" :* but I dont care. Life is there to be lived shamelessly.)

 

Happy friendship!

[jack]

. . . .when you meet someone and everything instantly clicks: yes, one time that happend to me I was at a Thruway Toll Booth, it was instantly mutual, the kid, the toll booth collector, when I pulled up, stopped, and when we looked at each other, we both stopped breathing, years went by as I held my hand out with the money and card, he reached out, and he touched my with his hand and did not move, our eyes were lasered onto each other's, he was beautiful, young, with that Viking jaw, except he was black, with marvelous teeth, thin lips, deep brown eyes, long slendor fingers, and a twenty eight inch waist. Somebody hit their horn and that was that, forever. (This was eight years ago, and he still gives me an instant hardon).