A Rentboy John Speaks out...

[HobbesianAcademic]

Not sure how many people have seen the interview I gave to Reason...but here's the link.

 

https://reason.com/blog/2015/09/20/a-rentboycom-john-speaks-out

 

Thought those on Daddy would like to see this.

 

Daddy ignore my email!

[HobbesianAcademic]

I think other clients should speak up too...

[Kenny]

Interesting interview. Just wish is wasn't at Reason, the libertarian kook site. Any site that has faith in "free markets" as a motive can't be trusted, since free markets are a fiction.

[seaboy4hire]

Very well said Academic. As for poo poo libertarians, I wouldn't knock a group that has been an allie for decades be it for prostitution or gay rights in general. Some of the people I go to for support have been libertarian minded folk. Not so much with the established left or right.

 

Hugs,

Greg

[+ stevenkesslar]

I think other clients should speak up too...

 

I think in some ways the most important phrase in the interview was "not his real name." I completely get that a lot of people who care about this are reluctant to speak up or give money because they have something to fear, even if they also feel they have done nothing wrong, and what the government is doing doesn't really make sense. These are exactly the kinds of situations where it is a plus that the media, including mainstream media, will allow people to speak on background or without using their names.

 

I think the more stories told by the more people, and the more honest, the better. So I really appreciate your honesty.

 

Just one "technicality" which I think is important. There's an angle that you cover about how escorts have helped gay men come out. That is definitely true in my experience. If you can tie it to the word sex, I would use the word "sex educator," which last time I checked is not illegal.

 

There are people who simply assume that escorts destroy marriages and relationships. In fact, one weird thing about the timing of this is it comes right on the heels of the same sex marriage victory. And I'm sure to some degree that is true - part of the process some men have gone through to come out is hire an escort, and scratch an itch, which ultimately leads them to a major life change, including divorce. It doesn't take an escort to do that. I've had the same thing happen to me with "booty calls" on non-escort gay hook up websites, where it turned out some guy I hooked up with was in a relationship, or even "straight" and married. This is a complicated issue and I'm sure a lot of moral people would quickly and easily conclude we are a bunch of degenerates and marriage destroyers.

 

My first really regular client who hired me for years and took me on really expensive trips was and still is a gay married man. He was referred to me by a gay therapist who I ended up hiring myself. To make a very long and happy story very short, the therapist encouraged him to hire escorts to "save" his marriage when his partner was going through a sort of mid-life crisis that involved things like getting into BDSM. None of it is stuff that certain "moral" people could even begin to comprehend. But the happy ending is that this couple is still together, their love for each other is as deep as ever, and as their relationship issues got resolved I was actually the one who at one point said something like, "I think you need to fire me so we can be just friends."

 

Then there is the deeply closeted "straight" married man with a wife and kids who is devoutly religious and nobody would suspect is Gay. From his perspective, our relationship makes staying in his marriage possible. That kind of complex emotional reality is something no one wants to hear. From a Christian perspective, it would certainly qualify as "sin." But I'm not worried about burning in hell for it. Any more than I am worried about burning in hell because for a year I had a non-escort "fuck buddy" who happened to be a Catholic priest. I will always be proud of the fact that when somebody tried to out him and his Bishop was required to go through the formality of an investigation, I was the dirty little whore who could comfort him, and whose shoulder he could cry on.

 

This bust puts the Gay community on trial in two ways. Even apart from escorts and rentboys, it raises lots of old canards about Gay men's wanton behavior and sexual promiscuity. Narrow focus, it puts the Gay community on trial because a significant subset of the community hires guys off sites like Rentboy. While nobody can and will accuse us of being sexual predators that prey on innocent women - "hello, I'm Gay!" - there will be this undertone of depravity, that will tarnish both the whole Gay community, and definitely Gay men in the "hiring" community. I think we have to face that head on, and not be embarrassed or ashamed in any way that we are who we are.

 

I am really glad that stories like this one that reflect the complexity and beauty of our community and of us as individuals are coming out, and I look forward to reading more and more of them.

[jackjackjack]

Very well said Academic. As for poo poo libertarians, I wouldn't knock a group that has been an allie for decades be it for prostitution or gay rights in general. Some of the people I go to for support have been libertarian minded folk. Not so much with the established left or right.

 

Hugs,

Greg

 

Seaboy, You are right about Libertarians. They have always supported gay rights and prostitution...keep the government out of peoples personal choices. And many on the left...including Hillary..and of course, on the right, have not always supported gay rights.

On a side note, Seaboy, you're so cute and love the picture in your RM profile with your cat kissing you.

[HobbesianAcademic]

Thank you all for the responses. I actually contacted several media outlets to try to give the interview to as well as a slightly longer written piece. Only Reason was interested in running with it. My greatest annoyance and frustration with this is how the queer media has largely been dominated by the Kim Davies fiasco (and other stuff). More escorts and clients have been hurt by the rentboy raid than the number of LGB people hurt by Kim Davies. It such respectability nonsense that rentboy has been playing second fiddle.

 

For the record, while I am not a libertarian, I am very sympathetic to left-libertarianism and this rentboy raid has greatly upset my political opinions. But not the space for that.

 

Thanks again.

[+ stevenkesslar]

Thank you all for the responses. I actually contacted several media outlets to try to give the interview to as well as a slightly longer written piece. Only Reason was interested in running with it. My greatest annoyance and frustration with this is how the queer media has largely been dominated by the Kim Davies fiasco (and other stuff). More escorts and clients have been hurt by the rentboy raid than the number of LGB people hurt by Kim Davies. It such respectability nonsense that rentboy has been playing second fiddle.

 

Please everybody be aware that time is on our side in this regard. There is no doubt that there is a certain amount of shame involved in this, and that "respectable" media outlets might not want to be viewed as being best buds with hookers. I wasn't around when it started, but people older and wiser than me have said it was the same with AIDS and other things. The longer this goes on, the more likely it is that the mainstream media, including what we can now proudly call the "mainstream" LGBT media, will cover it. In addition to the other good you've done, Mr. Academic, you are a pioneer in this regard. The best way to get to "yes" is to go through a lot of "no" first, and you've started that process. Thanks.

[Irtwo]

Welcome to the forum, Hobbesian, and thanks for that Reason interview. Interesting point you made about the "Purple Pamphlet."

[+ VeryHappyCustomer]

Some of the people I go to for support have been libertarian minded folk.

I have a Libertarian friend who goes to you for support.

[+ WilliamM]

I think in some ways the most important phrase in the interview was "not his real name." I completely get that a lot of people who care about this are reluctant to speak up or give money because they have something to fear, even if they also feel they have done nothing wrong, and what the government is doing doesn't really make sense. These are exactly the kinds of situations where it is a plus that the media, including mainstream media, will allow people to speak on background or without using their names.

 

I think the more stories told by the more people, and the more honest, the better. So I really appreciate your honesty

 

I did an interview with a similar publication about 14 years ago about myself and some of the escorts I hired. I had not really thought about it since, untit I saw the same name in this publication's title: "John." It was a surprise fifteen years ago; I was not very aware then.

 

It was in the early days of the Internet, and the publication just assumed I did not want my name used. They even let me read the article before it was published to make sure every things was correct and I had not involved anyone by name, or given information that hurt somone else. I never expected the interview to change people's opinions about paying for sex ---well not true I did hope. Maybe a few people thought about what I said. Hobbesianacade, save your article. I have looked back and read it occasionally. Warning: Steven will not like the following: be very carefully what you say, more careful that I was -- that's the reason I am being so ridulously vague in this post.

 

I do strongly encourage speaking up about Rentboy.