Merry Christmas from Santa Claus

[dick_nyc]

Santa is Quitting His Job

 

Twas the night before Christmas,

Old Santa was pissed.

He cussed out the elves and

threw down his list.

 

Miserable little brats,

ungrateful little jerks.

I have a good mind

to scrap the whole works.

 

I've busted my ass

for damn near a year,

and instead of "Thanks Santa",

what do I hear?

 

The old lady bitches

cause I work late at night.

The elves want more money,

the reindeer all fight.

 

Rudolph got drunk

and goosed all the maids.

Donner is pregnant

and Vixen has AIDS.

 

And just when I thought

that things would get better,

those assholes from IRS,

sent me a letter.

 

They say I owe taxes,

if that ain't damn funny.

Who the hell ever

paid Santa Claus money?

 

And the kids these days,

they all are the pits.

They want the impossible,

those mean little shits.

 

I spent a whole year

making wagons and sleds.

Assembling dolls,

adding arms, legs and heads.

 

I made a ton of yo yo's,

no request for them,

they want computers and robots,

they think I'm IBM.

 

Flying through the air,

dodging the trees.

Falling down chimneys

and skinning my knees.

 

I'm quitting this job...

there's just no enjoyment.

I'll sit on my fat ass

and draw unemployment.

 

There'll be no Christmas this year

and now you know the reason,

I found me a young blonde,

I'm going SOUTH for the season!

 

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL..

And to ALL a GOOD NIGHT!!!!