Fellating Bears

[+ quoththeraven]

Given the more serious and/or scary topics that have been raised here recently, I thought I'd post something that's both educational and entertaining. It turns out that two orphaned brown bears living in a Croatian animal sanctuary have engaged in one-way fellatio. (Apparently the fellated bear isn't interested in reciprocating, but his friend doesn't seem to mind, as he's the one who always initiates.) Some scientists have produced a study about this. From Buzzfeed (I know, but this was the best of the articles on the first page of the search results):

 

Bears have occasionally been spotted performing fellatio in captivity before, but only when they lived in poor conditions with little other stimulation.

 

But the two male bears in Croatia are the first time anybody’s seen bears living in good conditions regularly enjoying fellatio.

 

According to the paper, the bears always took the same role every single time over the course of the six years they were observed - the same bear was always the receiver, the other always the provider - and at no point showed any sexual interest in other bears. The provider was always the one who initiated the encounter. “If the receiver’s genitals were not exposed, the provider would push his head into the pelvic region or use his paws to separate the hind legs,” the researchers write.

 

They go on to provide a detailed breakdown of how the bear fellatio played out. “After accessing and initial licking of the penis, the provider would find a more comfortable posture, such as sitting or lying sternally. Once actual sucking started, neither bear changed position.”

 

Sucking was often “accompanied by humming vocalizations by the provider,” the researchers note.

 

They record that in all the cases they were able to fully observe, “the receiver appeared to experience orgasm, evidenced by muscular contractions. A foamy white liquid around the muzzle of the provider was visible in each case, which may have been ejaculate, saliva, or both fluids mixed. At that point, the receiver either pushed away the provider with his hind legs or turned away.”

 

They add that “in eight cases (40%) the provider laid down next to the receiver, with no further active interactions.”

 

The researchers speculate that the provider bear’s fondness for oral sex may be a result of “prematurely curtailed maternal suckling” due to being orphaned at a young age, pointing out that orphaned bears have previously been observed sucking others’ body parts. Or maybe they just enjoy it.

 

http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/2014-06/17/7/enhanced/webdr08/enhanced-7124-1403002879-3.png

 

Source: http://www.buzzfeed.com/tomphillips/rrrrrrraaaaaawwwwwrrrrrrrrrr (article has a link to the study)

[gallahadesquire]

 

Sucking was often “accompanied by humming vocalizations by the provider,” the researchers note.

 

 

I am reminded of the limerick:

 

There is a young man, name of Sims,

Who hums (it is said) when he rims:

A spectacular ass

Get's the B-minor Mass -

The Rest just get Anglican Hymns.

 

Now, which do we go for:

A quick Kyria, or

A round of "Hail Thee Festival Day?"

[Phil_musc]

Thanks, Gallahad, I hadn't heard this limerick before. Personally, I'd hope for the Kyrie but with my luck I would expect something more along the lines of "'Tis Midnight and on Olive's Brow."

 

More germane for the current thread: "The Wondrous Cross-Eyed Bear."

[gallahadesquire]

Thanks, Gallahad, I hadn't heard this limerick before. Personally, I'd hope for the Kyrie but with my luck I would expect something more along the lines of "'Tis Midnight and on Olive's Brow."

 

More germane for the current thread: "The Wondrous Cross-Eyed Bear."

Or "Gladly the Cross-eyed Bear"

[+ quoththeraven]

I was trying to think of a good pun to end the post with, but the only one I could think of was "unbearable," and that didn't seem applicable.

 

Also, when I was posting, I didn't think about the possibility that someone would think I meant "bears" as in the opposite of "twink," the cousin (or whatever) of "otter," etc.

[Lookin]

I am reminded of the limerick:

 

There is a young man, name of Sims,

Who hums (it is said) when he rims:

A spectacular ass

Get's the B-minor Mass -

The Rest just get Anglican Hymns.

 

Now, which do we go for:

A quick Kyria, or

A round of "Hail Thee Festival Day?"

 

Funny! http://www.boytoy.com/forums/public/style_emoticons/default/thumbsup.png