How Could I have been so, so wrong for so, so long....about SEX

[doitb4ugo]

Having a number of different reputations here in the forum, I am donning my over-thinker hat and letting fly with this.

 

Since arriving here at the beggining of 2010, I have struggled mightily with trying to get an intellectual handle on sex as it relates to me in my pursuit of man-to-man nirvana. The journey has been fast-paced and precipitous but as each encounter with an escort moves behind me, I seem to have taken a large leap forward (not the kind of leap many of you wish I'd take given my propnsity for writing this stuff). From confused and scared to building an intellectual foundation to support my pleasure dome.

 

I learned very early that the joys of sex were not in the sum of the different activities enjoyed as part of an escort session. There was much more. Having been advised to look more closely at my emothions and feelings (wise advice), I began constructing my ideal sexual encounter. If "submission" for me was the primary means of sexual expression, I easily found a language and process in the world of BDSM. I thought I had moved many leagues toward that elusive goal. Life is never that straight-forward. I had been at it for only a short number of months and thought I had discovered something(HA).

 

As in all of my endeavors, I take everything to the nth degree and I did so with the submission aspect as well. No one beat me to death, or hurt me (I am saving those delicious adventures for later), but I allowed my persona to shrink to nothingness as I gave it up to feed others. I did enjoy this and thought I would move along in this direction for some time.

 

My last encounter with an escort, changed everything. The entire session was organic and a whole entity in and of itself. No series of activities, no prescribed rythms or moves. It all worked...I still can't believe it. It was organic and symbiotic vs. mechanical and parasitic. I did not control it, it controlled me and I let go, without knowing it.

 

Leads me to feel like I have joined with what most of you already know and take for granted. Sex just is..trying to define it, understand it and intellectualize if are amussing preocupations for some (myself certainly) but when it's all said and done it's still sex.

 

You go into it with your brain. You come out of it with your brain...But during it leave your brain checked at the door.

[instudiocity]

Sex just is..trying to define it, understand it and intellectualize it are amussing preocupations for some (myself certainly) but when it's all said and done it's still sex.

 

You go into it with your brain. You come out of it with your brain...But during it leave your brain checked at the door.

 

You've hit it on the nail! The more MUSS and less FUSS, the better the sex! I believe it's a Freudian Typo!

[uwsman2]

I've found that the hardest thing to achieve in an escort encounter is the free-flowing sex that I had the rare opportunity to enjoy occasionally in my younger days as a result of a hook-up with somebody I met at an event or in a bar or in the baths (those were the days, my friends!). Because the most thrilling sex is free form and involves a continuing interaction between people who are mutually attracted to each other. Who want to be there because they want physical and emotional involvement with the other person. Escorts can simulate this with varying degrees of success, and I can believe that some escorts are so sexually voracious that they can usually find enough that is appealing about most of their clients so there can be that spontaneous spark. But it is rare. I can still find fulfillment in an escort session if the escort is physically hot, has an appealling personality, and knows his business - which is to try to fulfill the sexual fantasies of his clients -- even if in the back of my mind I am always aware that the escort is there because I'm paying him to be there, not because we are spontaneously attracted to each other.

 

That said, you can discover a lot about yourself through escort encounters, and I think doitb4ugo has hit lots of nails on the head in this post.

[Diverdan]

Not Necessarily Wrong

 

You pose an interesting question, but I have a slightly different perspective on your situation. Although most of us forget it, the Brain is really our biggest sex organ!!!!! A hot body, a passionate encounter, emotional connections and all of the other aspects of a sexual encounter come together to make us satisfied, or sometimes not satisfied, but it is our brain that puts this all together. We all have different encounters and we tend to remember those that our brain integrated best. For some having an intellectual connection, along with the physical and/or emotional connection makes the encounter even more delicious and memorable and thus likely to be recalled more often. My most satisfying experiences tend to be with individuals that I see on a somewhat regular basis, even if separated over long periods of time. I often reflect on what I enjoyed most about an encounter, or what I enjoy most about a particular individual in a situation, whether it is sexual or not. Nothing wrong about using your brain for reflection and to help you plan out what really matters to you. Like most guys, you will probably change over time too and that in itself can be stimulating and exciting.

[whipped guy]

The gray matters...

 

Although most of us forget it, the Brain is really our biggest sex organ!!!!! ...it is our brain that puts this all together. We all have different encounters and we tend to remember those that our brain integrated best. For some having an intellectual connection, along with the physical and/or emotional connection makes the encounter even more delicious and memorable and thus likely to be recalled more often.

Diverdan! Exactly... I have always said that the brain is indeed the largest sexual organ... Yes, that is where the action is... or isn't... and on a variety of levels... and the brain can stimulate and be stimulated in so many different and interesting ways! When everything is aligned to perfection think of it as a synaptic burst of chemical and electrical activity that can lead to an explosion of volcanic proportions... and we are not even talking anything of orgasmic proportions at this point! Conversely, a deficiency of such stimuli can lead to a rather lackluster perception of the action… and at times that can happen even though theoretically “on paper” everything seemingly appears to be suitably on the right track…

 

I guess there are no easy answers here, still some individuals... and I am not necessarily talking about escorts... are veritable members of MENSA when it come to being "brainy" about sex… and have the ability to push the right buttons so that all that synaptic action adds up to a perception of the action being greater than the sum of the actual parts… at the very least that is. Of course the goal is to make sure that the sum of the actual parts is certainly off the charts… but since two brains are involved in the process that does not necessarily always occur.

 

As I said it is a complicated process!

[doitb4ugo]

I respectfully disagree that my mind is my biggest sexual organ...perhaps if I can turn it off (on a conscious level).

This epiphany for me has me still believing that the largest sexual organ in the room for my session was the escort - RAUL G Manzo.

[Diverdan]

What's in an "organ"?

 

Hey Rich,

There are a lot of big cocks around and I have experienced some big ones 9, 10, 11 and ? But while they were a lot of fun for playtime, I have had equally cataclysmic (sic?) experiences with guys in the 5 to 7 range too, which only adds to the evidence for the brains role in sex. You apparently had a great experience with Raul, but it was not just because of certain equipment. He is a great example of the whole package! So, don't dwell on it... let it flow and happen... and be thankful that your brain is putting it all together for that incredible climax and release of endorphins as well as your bodily fluid!

[whipped guy]

and be thankful that your brain is putting it all together for that incredible climax and release of endorphins as well as your bodily fluid!

Really I think the endorphins are where it is at... well at least that is a significant portion of it! Theoretically these amino acid peptides reduce pain... and affect our emotions in a positive manner... and often produce a high... and it is in the brain where they are released... I sincerely believe that the quality and quantity of endorphins released affect how one tolerates BDSM...

 

So another piece of the puzzle... of course being a member of MENSA and having that PHD in Sexology helps.

[doitb4ugo]

Really I think the endorphins are where it is at... well at least that is a significant portion of it! Theoretically these amino acid peptides reduce pain... and affect our emotions in a positive manner... and often produce a high... and it is in the brain where they are released... I sincerely believe that the quality and quantity of endorphins released affect how one tolerates BDSM...

 

So another piece of the puzzle... of course being a member of MENSA and having that PHD in Sexology helps.

 

I'm willing to credit my amazing ability to "turn off my mind, relax and float downstream". If this is really the case...wouldn't sex under the infuence provide an even more intense experience?? No jugements just asking...I am not a drug user, for many years because like sex it can take over your life if you are not careful.

 

Last good high was "electric beer" when in college.