I Want a Raise!

[Guest bottomboykk]

Dear Management,

 

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

 

[ol][li]I do physical labor.

[li]I work at great depths.

[li]I plunge head first into everything I do.

[li]I do not get weekends or public holidays off.

[li]I work in a damp environment.

[li]I don't get paid overtime.

[li]I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.

[li]I work in high temperatures.

[li]My work exposes me to contagious diseases.[/ol]

Sincerely

The Penis

 

[hr width=20%" align="left]

 

Dear Penis,

 

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

 

[ol][li]You do not work 8 hours straight.

[li]You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods.

[li]You do not always follow the orders of the management team.

[li]You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.

[li]You do not take initiative; you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.

[li]You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.

[li]You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.

[li]You will retire well before you are 65.

[li]You are unable to work double shifts.

[li]You sometimes leave your designated work before you have completed the assigned task.

[li]And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags. [/ol]

Sincerely,

The Management

[Guest Blink]

So.. you are the guy who wrote this. How inventive.

[+ Axiom2001]

Hey man, what you wrote definitely brings a "breath of fresh air" to this forum. I applaud you for your ingenuity! Continue!!:-) :-)