Limericks

[Guest cmp]

There is a thread over in the Deli about the yummy young Danny Young (aka Danny Damon of ill fame, you may dig up a very long thread on Danny from the Deli archives if you wish). WetDream created a subthread by posting two funny limericks on cute boys. I feel a limerick thread would belong here in the Lounge, let's leave the other thread to the discussion on how cute Danny is.

 

WetDream's posts prompted me to give it a try. This is my first attempt at poetry, let alone the genre of limerick, in a language which is not one of my native ones, so please be lenient with the literary criticism. Ok, here it cums:

 

This incredibly hot twink

Claims to be into kink,

But pays more attention to the clock

Than does to your aching shmock

And charges more than you'ld think.

[Guest Zach DC]

Our downloading bud, Jizzdepapi,

His unending quest for hard copy.

He discovered a god,

with such a hot bod.

But his disk was so big it was floppy.

[Guest Zach DC]

Such a gentleman, our fine Tampa Yankee.

So prim, he picks his nose with a hankee.

He has not a vice.

Wait, let me think twice.

He pays rentboys to sit on his wankee.

[Guest WetDream]

Need impudent, intractable youth,

The sort seen in a carnival booth,

Who’s by nature real bad,

Can be easily had,

Unshaved, uncultured, uncut, uncouth.

[Guest cmp]

A hot Asian twink by the name of Kim

Woke up after a party with memories dim.

So weird was the feeling in his tight behind,

There was finally no doubt in his mind:

It must have been more than just rim.

[Guest WetDream]

RE: For My Friends in New York City

 

BOPPIN’ ‘ROUND THE BURROUGHS

 

The Bronx

 

Up at Fordham, from a Catholic youth:

“Don’t know why, but I swear it’s the truth,

But I get even bigger

And fast on the trigger

Being blown in a ‘fessional booth!”

 

Manhattan

 

Upzipped a divine Puerto Rican,

Watch his member lengthen and thicken.

Quick to skin his thing back

But (alas and alack!)

Wanted cash before any lickin’.

 

Brooklyn

 

In Park Slope I abandoned all shame:

And it worked; I came and I came!

Never asked permission

For each new perdition –

Too bad I never asked him his name…

 

Queens

 

Came to on a mattress in Woodside,

Spread-eagled, my hands and my feet tied

With thongs of black leather,

A bright macaw feather

Tattooed on each cheek of my backside.

 

Staten Island

 

A nook near the ferryboat dock: it

Was dark, busted bulb in the socket.

When I felt a soft grope

Was beginning to hope …

Turned out he was picking my pocket.

[Guest cmp]

I have tried my luck,

Hoped to make a buck.

Should have stopped at the first letter,

'Cause Wet is so much better.

What can I say, oh *darn*.

[Guest WetDream]

CMP: This is not a competitive sport. Just have a good time!

[Guest Zach DC]

To the Pinkos

 

To the pinkos whose hearts bleed for others;

The global victims, the children and mothers,

who suffer such grief,

with no hope, no relief.

Hop a plane. You can join Sally Struthers.

[Guest WetDream]

A transvestite, now known as Mabel,

Hated sex, but found he was able

To enjoy being screwed –

Not striped to the nude –

But decked out a la Betty Grable.

[Guest Joey Ciccone]

The Mother of All Limericks

 

My apologies for the length of this, but I came across this 'mother of all limericks' and thought it might be appropriate. Sorry if it's not.

 

>A great guy I knew was named Steve

>He'd oft wear his heart on his sleeve

>He hopped off his train

>And got hit by a plane

>It's insane and I still can't believe

>

>It's a story of killer bin Laden

>Who got pissed and commenced to jehadin'

>To extremists he's brave

>Though he hides in a cave

>And it's hell that he hopes to find God in

>

>This woeful tale of bin Laden

>And the land he declared a fatwah in

>From a mud hut he cried

>"Yankee infidels die!"

>And thus ushered in Armageddon

>

>Now the Cowboys are back in their saddles

>They'll take to the world with their paddle

>They want to be cops

>But they haven't the guts

>For the woes of the world they must straddle

>

>Where did this madness begin?

>This conflict that no one will win

>How did it start?

>What lies at it's heart?

>And who is this madman named Bin?

>

>Well, the Russkies took on the Afghanis

>So we helped out by pouring in money

>The 'ghanis were tough

>The red bear said enough

>After ten grueling years it's not funny

>

>Way over the sand there in Saudi

>A zealot was born who was rowdy

>We'd trained him to kill

>We'd helped steel his will

>Unaware as to what we were mounting

>

>Then the Iraqis invaded Kuwait

>With a message of volatile hate

>By raping and plunder

>They tore her asunder

>Someone help her before it's too late

>

>So some Arab princes said "Hey,"

>"Won't America send troops our way?"

>As a matter of course

>We let loose with force

>To Iraq we proclaimed, "Bombs away!"

>

>Back in Afghan the Russians had left

>In that nation existed a cleft

>Bin he went home

>And was told to move on

>As Afghanistans' struggle did shift

>

>When the Taliban came into power

>Knowing Bin was the man of the hour

>Took him into their fold

>Plotting horrors untold

>And from there he destroyed the Trade Towers

>

>For when Iraqis withdrew from Kuwait

>The Yanks had decided to wait

>We pitched a few tents

>And haven't left since

>Which clearly makes Laden irate

>

>It seems his aggression's unsated

>At least that is what he has stated:

>"From Holy lands infidels

>Shall be driven to Hell

>They must be wiped out and are hated!"

>

>"Our great cities the West must surrender

>And the blood of the Jews shall be tendered

>For defiling our soil

>And sucking for oil

>The U.S. our greatest offender!"

>

>So Americans otherwise loud

>And brash and wealthy and proud

>Who in the Mid-East

>Sought to broker a peace

>Have been murdered but still stand uncowed

>

>And if foreign policy tells

>Us anything of ourselves

>We'd pull up our tents

>Without reason or sense

>Let them send each other to Hell

>

>Where this will end no one knows

>As fear and our anger grows

>But we mustn't give in

>Can't let Laden win

>Lord have mercy on our foes

>

[Guest cmp]

Not Jealous

 

'Twas meant to be a joke,

Sort of a friendly poke.

Had a jolly good time

Despite my lousy rhyme,

I'm such a cool bloke!

[Guest WetDream]

RE: For DCescortBOY

 

An escort from D.C. named Ethan:

Enraged, is Elizabethan.

Physically puny

His member could truly

Turn any god-fearing man heathen.

[Guest DCescortBOY]

RE: For DCescortBOY

 

:-)

thanks WD... the laugh can be very therapeutic.

[Guest Zach DC]

To WetDream

 

Let's write us some rhymes, cmp beckoned.

Without competing, WetDream reckoned.

But Zach dipped his toe in,

To challenge and grin.

I guess now it's a race for distant second.

[Guest WetDream]

RE: Not Quite a Limerick for Zach

 

You ain't no runner up, Mr. Zach,

And I'll bet your no slouch in the sack.

It would really be neat

If we ever could meet

Cheek to cheek, head to toe, on my back.

[Guest Zach DC]

From Zock

 

You know the composer named Bach?

For the sake of this rhyme I'm now Zock.

If we ever do meet,

Fuck cheek to cheek.

Introduce your cheeks to my cock.

[Matt_Vancouver]

ok my attempt: )

 

What a bunch of wankers

Sit around monkey spankers

Let's talk about cock

That would truly rock

Cuz this thread is truly stankers

 

tee hee!

(in no way meant to imply that anyone is a wanker...other than myself)

Matt(I'm a wankey doodle dandy)

 

http://go.to/mattsplace

[email protected]

[Guest WetDream]

RE: For a Wanker

 

A gay mathematician named Bruce

Was a specialist in self abuse.

To see himself clearer

He angled his mirror

On the square of the hypotenuse.

[Guest cmp]

Wankers

 

Aren't we all, Matt, aren't we all.

[Guest allansmith63]

RE: Wankers

 

I'm sure everyone's heard this, but here goes:

 

There was a young man from Trent

Who's cock was so very bent

To save himself trouble,

He put it in double

And instead of coming, he went.

[Guest WetDream]

RE: For Reguation

 

Got to hand it to Regulation

For mental prestigitation:

To dissent is just fine,

Just toe the party line.

That's not why we are a great nation.

[Guest Zach DC]

Matt wants Cock Talk

 

A horny fuckboy from Vancouver has wrote,

Cock is what Matt would rather talk a'boat.

Lead this thread in that direction

and give us all fat erections.

Can you still talk with our dicks down your throat?

[Guest cmp]

A Dutch boy by the name of Dieter

Sucking his thick uncut peter:

It makes me so hot

And hard on the spot

That all my blood runs from my brain down into my shmock and look what that does to my meter!