What's in a name

[kjun]

"Escorts are human beings and they like to be treated as such. They don't like being treated like low life ####. The happier you make them, the happier they make you." And, so we are told in the escort etiquette section of Patrick Bogan's web site.

 

One of our fellow posters seems to enjoy calling escorts #### in his posts. I don't think they like it and I don't either. Escorts just decided to perform a service many of us enjoy }( . If you don't like them then stay away from them and don't talk about them. Especially in derogatory terms.

 

the Cajun

[Louis]

I have been dealing with a harrasment issue at work, where I have been harassed for more than 15 months. Last weekend I recognized it for what it was and have taken steps, and it should be over as ot today. Anyways, I was doing some research on the net about harassment.

I discovered that people can use the internet for harrasment. Harassment is anything that would make another person feel uncomfortable. The inappropriate use of words etc.

I went for my usual bike ride this evening, and I started thinking about the net, and this message board in particular.

Someone can correct me if I am wrong, but it appears as though a few escorts have been harrased on this web site. We all know the well known escort with the blog issue, and how many strings there were, and then after that there were more blogs about him, that after thinking about it appears to be harrasment.

The sad thing is, there are escorts that frequent this list, and personally I think its a very smart business decision. One of the reasons they do this is for exposure, and I can honestly say, that it has been very enlightening.

I am very dissapointed with myself for not recognizing it sooner, and I guess the only reason I recognize it now is because I have had to recognize it happening to me before I could deal with it.

There is always a danger when there is a self moderated site. Free speach is great, but I think with freedom comes responsability, to use such freedoms in appropriate ways. Some people may have said things in order to drive certain escorts away from this web group.

And to those who have been insulted by others I applogize for not speaking out, because my sitting back and watching the fire works, is no better than joining in.

[Guest timgetrum]

>Harassment is anything that would make another person feel

>uncomfortable.

 

I agree with this definition, but don't fall in love with this word completely. Some people should be made to feel uncomfortable, be harassed.

 

Of course, the key is in selectivity, and the disagreements will be over what is or is not appropriate. I don't think one should keep reminding the fat, sweaty, ugly girl that she is fat, sweaty and ugly. But, maybe we should make the jerk, who talks so loud on his cell phone that no one around him can think, uncomfortable. There are some issues in between that are less clear to me. :-)

[Guest EWC]

>>Harassment is anything that would make another person feel

>>uncomfortable.

>

>I agree with this definition, but don't fall in love with this

>word completely. Some people should be made to feel

>uncomfortable, be harassed.

>

>Of course, the key is in selectivity, and the disagreements

>will be over what is or is not appropriate. I don't think one

>should keep reminding the fat, sweaty, ugly girl that she is

>fat, sweaty and ugly. But, maybe we should make the jerk, who

>talks so loud on his cell phone that no one around him can

>think, uncomfortable. There are some issues in between that

>are less clear to me. :-)

 

The obvious difference is that when someone is doing something that intrudes into your space, you may POLITELY ask them to modify their behavior so that it doesn't. It is always rude to comment upon someone elses behavior or appearance when there is nothing that they can do IMMEDIATELY to change the situation even assuming that they would even want to change the situation.

[KMEM]

Nice thoughts, Louis. What do you think we should call it when it goes on and on and on? Aggravated harassment? This certainly has happened on this and other MB's. Possibly we should also consider the source and intent? If one friend calls another friend an idiot over a beer, does it have the same meaning and intent as a stranger doing the same or a known non-friend? Of course not. But, do it often enough and even friends will likely react. Name calling is more than rude but it seems to be part and parcel of posting on the MB's. Pity.

 

I have known more than one person who can perfectly spell out each and every shortcoming of any individual he might interact with and never use any rude words at all. A marvelous talent but almost unknown hereabouts. Also a pity.

 

Most posters will probably never know just how harassed some of those written about might have been. Here I am not talking about BN but several others with whom I have had personal contact. Many feel like the worst thing they can do is admit any such or try to retaliate by post. Unfortunately, the way most topics die a natural death on the MB is by silence rather than any logical consensus of conslusion.

 

Best regards,

KMEM