The Pussy-Flap at MaleEscortReview.com

[RockHard]

I know Oz and his band of sisters won't believe me but it has been a while since my last visit to MER. Honestly, the need or desire to visit a second escort review site simply is not there. About two weeks after I settled in from a delicious holiday spent in Paris, I was curious to see if MER still existed. It does.

 

And, lo and behold, not only does MER still exist, this New Year edition features one of the funniest threads I've read in a long time: "Review from a lady?" (No Billie Holiday here.)

 

Since I hear Rico died from a rare brain aneurism caused by excessive gas (his flatulence, apparently, backed up towards his head and exploded - be careful Lucky and zipperzone), I thought it might be fun to critique, "Review from a lady?," with a slight rant-homage to dead Rico. Here goes:

 

Almost as precious as anything by Almodóvar, the luck-be-a-lady thread pays particular respect to all our mothers. Apparently, some gay men need to believe they were dumped from a man's asshole because the mere mention of the word pussy sends a few queens OH-VAH the cuckoo's nest.

 

And like all credible internet escort forums, you're treated to an idiot poster named, Riptide, who clearly was chomping at the bit to share his "first-time-poster" words of wisdom, numbered no less. The only thing missing from such enlightened wisdom was a Power Point demo.

 

Riptides words were SO powerful, SO unbelievably awesome, Scott Adler confused them for the smell of fresh Prada (or a really fat wad of dirty green bills) and became SO overcome, SO breathless, he shot an online orgasm, squirting visuals of Black Panther Party members doing Martha Graham (Right On...On Point, brotha's!). Riptide's "un-be-fucking-believable" bullshit rendered Scott's pussy lips speechless. (But not for long.)

 

Then, along came little, innocent Ben (as sung by Michael Jackson), who posted the cutie-petutie photo of a local San Antonio real-estate agent (on-the-job, selling a farm, probably his aunt), all in true light-hearted, loving jest. In response, the ferocious first-time Riptide-rabied-rattlesnake sank his razor-sharp teeth into poor Ben, splattering a blood-soaked, evil, lack-of-credibility diatribe at him, conjuring years and years of history on escort forums. I guess "first-time" no longer means virgin.

 

Thankfully, in nicely edited form and truly "on point," Ben (sounding more like Darth Vadar this time) called RipShit on his blood-soaked venom and rightfully called the fucking asshole a coward.

 

(If I owned MER, I would delete RipShit's spewing-venom posts at Benjamin Nicholas and write him with a warning, "Such behavior will not be tolerated. If you do it again, you're membership will be canceled." That's the way a forum owner shows his membership respect and that's the way all well-moderated forums succeed. I don't expect MER will do the right thing because the leaders at MER are cowards. They have no clue how to define respect.)

 

I'm sick of gay cowards. They're nothing but a bunch of multi-faced pansy-asses. They deserve a good gay-bashing. Sometimes these self-hating wimps deserve what they ask for. My goodness, if you can't pontificate and criticize in one name, then you should keep your fucking, useless trap shut. No hypocrite should be allowed to assassinate someone's character when the lying hypocrite possesses no character himself. In a mere 3 posts, RipShit LOST all credibility and for the sake of MER, his stupid, arrogant 4th post will hopefully be his last. Oh well, there goes another username (but you can expect the hypocrite to come back).

 

In the meantime, the scent of Prada went the way of a fart in the presence of a lit match. For once, Adler truly was speechless.

 

Mind you, all of this drama-drag sideshow occurred around the inanely stupid idea of publishing an escort review submitted by a woman—a decision which TampaYankee claims credit (after rigorous analysis) with the approval of missing brain-cell Oz.

 

Why is it so difficult for some gay men to understand that most gay men don't want pussy to interfere with their gay male fantasies?

 

Gay men are NOT bisexual. Bisexuals are bisexual. Pussy has no place in gay male fantasies or in a gay man's desire to reach an orgasm. Many gay MEN hate when Chi Chi-Princess-LaRue enters a porn scene in drag: the sight of that fat, peroxide forever-bitch-in-heat, with a very big mouth, is an instant erection killer, which explains why we don't watch her fake shit. We watch porn to get sexually stimulated, to induce an orgasm, not to vomit, or laugh, or get drag make-up tips. Drag queens and women have their place but they don't belong in gay porn.

 

I love women and I think a pussy can be hot-looking and sexy. I could lick Pamela Anderson's pussy as long as Tommy Lee's cock was thrusting my mouth at the same time. I enjoy watching good straight porn. So, forget all the stupid, silly analysis or attempt to extract and deliberate whether the pussy review has merit. It seems to me this is a no-brainer business decision. Common sense should dictate: leave the pussy for those who specifically enjoy pussy. Pussy has no place on a gay male escort review site. One has to wonder if MER is desperate for reviews.

 

One interesting tidbit from RipShit: his annual research concluded that MER has over 10,000 members with only 20 participants in the forum. I have a feeling the membership numbers at MER are similar to the odometers in used-car lots.

 

In closing, I see that Jesse Dane has posted his obituary, I mean, his retirement notice just about everywhere a post-it note will stick. Sort of reminds me of a GOING OUT OF BUSINESS SALE! THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE TO PLAY WITH THIS TWINK HOLE! GET IT WHILE IT'S STILL OPEN!

 

Why can't young escorts have more class? Every show biz veteran knows, leave your audience wanting more, which typically means: leave quietly. (I wish someone would tell Dick Clark.) I wonder how many men have booked a flight to San Francisco to get their LAST CHANCE WITH JESSE? I know where I'll be: hello Josh Weston!

 

Happy New Year, everyone! :-)

[Guest alanm]

>Then, along came little, innocent Ben (as sung by Michael

>Jackson), who posted the cutie-petutie photo of a local San

>Antonio real-estate agent (on-the-job, selling a farm,

>probably his aunt), all in true light-hearted, loving jest.

 

 

Now that's really funny, because like Ben's remarks RockHard writes in

light-hearted, friendly jest.

 

On the review by the lady, I am surprised that it provoked so much response. I read the review the day it was posted, learned a little about the escort and didn't think about it again. Who could have guessed it would draw so much strong reaction, pro and con?

[AdamSmith]

>Every show biz

>veteran knows, leave your audience wanting more, which

>typically means: leave quietly.

 

This remark, in context, is too hilarious to admit of further comment.

[Lookin]

>>Every show biz

>>veteran knows, leave your audience wanting more, which

>>typically means: leave quietly.

>

>This remark, in context, is too hilarious to admit of further

>comment.

 

 

Cf. "There's Nothing Left to Say": The Farewell Tour of the San Francisco Mime Troup.

 

 

The audience was speechless. :o

[Louis]

NOw let me start thinking... we all knew when Michael Jordan and Scotty Pippen were going to retire. We knew when Wayne Gretsky was going to retire, if you get my point.

I think that if someone is good at something whether it be sports, acting or escorting, letting people know about retirement plans shouw consideration and courtesy. It gives alterts people who have not seen or exeperienced to do try to do just that.

To leave without notice......is to tell your fans or clients that they are not important.

I sincerely believe that the escorts that have anounced their retirement on this site have done so, because, they want to thank everyone who have helped them along their way.

[Lookin]

< I wonder how many men have booked a flight to San Francisco to get their LAST CHANCE WITH JESSE? >

 

Not me. But only because he's just a short ride over the Golden Gate Bridge.

 

Jesse's got the face of an angel, great mind, hot body, and a dick that keeps showing up in my dreams. Did I mention he has class?

 

Many thanks for reminding me that time's a wastin' !

[RockHard]

"This remark, in context, is too hilarious to admit of further comment."

 

Also hilarious: fawning over the lizard tongue and playing chummy with Sybil. What a display of tastelessness. AdamSmith, you do know how to surprise.

 

"we all knew when Michael Jordan and Scotty Pippen (and Wayne Gretsky) were going to retire."

 

Comparing Michael Jordan, Scotty Pippen, and Wayne Gretzky (correct spelling) to a d-list porn player is an insult. The insult is so broad-reaching (and empty-headed) I can't respond further.

 

"To leave without notice......is to tell your fans or clients that they are not important."

 

Doctors, teachers, and loving parents are important. Sports figures, actors, and escorts are not.

 

"I sincerely believe that the escorts that have anounced their retirement on this site have done so, because, they want to thank everyone who have helped them along their way."

 

And you probably still believe in the tooth fairy. Don't spend that quarter in one place. Actually, you can give the quarter to Jesse, as a final tip, to thank him for his courtesy and consideration.

[AdamSmith]

>Also hilarious: fawning over the lizard tongue and playing

>chummy with Sybil. What a display of tastelessness. AdamSmith,

>you do know how to surprise.

 

One does one's modest best.

 

>"To leave without notice......is to tell

>your fans or clients that they are not important."

>

>Doctors, teachers, and loving parents are important. Sports

>figures, actors, and escorts are not.

 

Our thanks for again affirming your opinion of escorts and the people who hire them.

[+ Axiom2001]

DAMN, this is a long read! Apparently the length did not concern many of the readers: they responded. One of these days I shall return here and read, read, read!!!!! I might even respond if I feel it is necessary for me to do so!

[RockHard]

"Our thanks for again affirming your opinion of escorts and the people who hire them."

 

Again, for the deaf, blind and hearing-impaired: context matters.

 

I admit, for better clarity, I could have written: "Doctors, teachers, and loving parents are important. Sports figures, actors, and escorts are not nearly as important." I prefer the strength of the version I published.

 

I often assume (my mistake) most MC members are intelligent enough to know the intent of such statements since I think my affection and appreciation for my favorite escorts is obvious. Do I love them all? Absolutely not. The same is true for "the people who hire them."

 

As smart as AdamSmith seems to be, he often sounds like one of the distorters with a penchant for the negative. Disappointing. :-(

[Lookin]

>> Doctors, teachers, and loving parents are important. Sports figures, actors, and escorts are not.

 

> I admit, for better clarity, I could have written: "Doctors, teachers, and loving parents are important. Sports figures, actors, and escorts are not nearly as important." I prefer the strength of the version I published.

 

 

I know just what you’re saying. I mean, just imagine if our forefathers had written:

 

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, well for the most part anyway, that all men are created equal . . . “

 

Sometimes you just have to go for the sizzle.

[RockHard]

RE: The Declaration and Twinkdom

 

"I know just what you’re saying. I mean, just imagine if our forefathers had written:

 

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, well for the most part anyway, that all men are created equal . . . “"

 

It seems we got "for the most part anyway" because the authors of The Declaration of Independence neglected to mention the word "women," at all, in the statement you quoted. Yet the word "people" appears throughout the rest. Oh well.

 

"Sometimes you just have to go for the sizzle."

 

And who doesn't love a good snap, crackle and pop? I truly appreciate when someone understands me. Thank you, Lookin, for being a good sport.

 

I find most twink-lovers aren't very discriminating. As long as the boys are young, skinny and still have a cock, good-ole twink-lovers will be in heaven, even if the boy's face is barking and all his teeth are rotting. For many twink-lovers, any attention from a twink is enough to create a gilded throne of deluded devotion: a powerful pathos.

 

Any suggestion that my comments regarding Jesse Dane were mean-spirted must come from someone who does NOT know me. As I've said before, I haven't a hateful bone in my body. Calling things as I see them is honest, not mean.

 

I sincerely wish Jesse Dane good luck in whatever ventures he pursues. I have a feeling he will find greater success and reward with most other challenges outside of escorting and porn work.

 

Speaking of credibility, I think very few posters on the MC are as credible as me. I have strong opinions, I'm not afraid of voicing them (or afraid of anybody), I never run from any position I take, I'm honest, and I'm never shy to apologize or admit when I've been wrong. And I do it ALL using one name. Are you more credible than me?

[Louis]

RE: The Declaration and Twinkdom

 

I was trying to make a point.. and that is that escorts, who are going to retire are doing their clients or potential clients a service by telling them they are retiring.

While it can be said, that escorts don't play profesional sports, at least to the degree where they have multi million dollar contracts, they do have a following, and to be honest I think a lot of escorts probably have better personalities than many actors and professional athletes.

I would rather spend my hard earned money and be able to spend time with a good escort, rather than sitting in a hockey arena supporting someone who is a millionaire.

[RockHard]

RE: Retirement

 

"I was trying to make a point"

 

Well, at least you tried.

 

RE: retirement

 

Even though I can't imagine retiring from anything you love, I don't take issue with anyone who decides to announce a retirement unless, like Cher, the farewell becomes a tour that lasts four years. Like a Bob Mackie design, some retirement announcements are tacky and, without taste, style and discretion, they can be perceived as a last-ditch effort to beckon a monetary influx.

 

There are elegant (and potentially lucrative) ways for an escort to announce a retirement. The best way is via a strategically placed news item, preferably placed by someone other than the escort. It's far more mysterious to read from a client (or Benjamin Nicholas): "I hear from a very good source that so-and-so will be retiring soon. This may be your last chance to see him." Mystery is a great aphrodisiac.

 

If an escort has a blog, a subtle suggestion that the jig will soon be up can stir quite a bit of buzz, provided there's at least one person reading the escort's blog. Having someone else post the blog entry on a forum can be a great face-saving way to ignite the buzz.

 

Publicly announcing the retirement the day after you retired is a wonderful way to say thank you to all those who supported your business. It may cause a few customers to shed a tear because you failed to give them an opportunity to "get in" before the expiration date but it eliminates any "quick-money" stains. You get to leave with dignity intact.

 

The practice of business can be creative and every businessman is, eventually, judged on his "performance." No one can criticize someone who handles himself with style and grace. For some, the details will never matter.

[Lookin]

RE: The Declaration and Twinkdom

 

> > I truly appreciate when someone understands me. Thank you, Lookin, for being a good sport.

 

> > I find most twink-lovers aren't very discriminating. As long as the boys are young, skinny and still have a cock, good-ole twink-lovers will be in heaven, even if the boy's face is barking and all his teeth are rotting. For many twink-lovers, any attention from a twink is enough to create a gilded throne of deluded devotion: a powerful pathos.

 

 

And I love it when somebody understands ME! It's like you've been reading my mind. Attention from a twink with a nice package is, exactly as you've said, pure heaven. The gilded throne, the deluded devotion, the powerful pathos - all gravy.

 

It's worth a reminder that one mustn't be too discriminating, and I'm resolved to do much less of it this year. Many thanks, and let the good times roll! :9 :9 :9 :9 :9