I don't have any particular gay pride plans, but @body2body's post inspired me to share one my most treasured gay pride memories.
I went to undergrad in the Northeast at a school that I could not afford, but I desperately wanted to attend. Bc I was a coxswain, I was assigned a freshman dorm room in the athletes' wing. My roommate was a beautiful specimen of a diver. He had it all...face, body, cock, money, lineage and, to my chagrin, friggin' hetero. He knew I was gay - all my gay mags probably gave it away. Anyway, I did fantasize about giving him head, but I respected our boundaries, plus he was hardly ever around since we both had rigorous practice & academic schedules. When I saw him, he would complain about muscle aches, lack of sleep, and how unhappy he was with his GF. I sorta saw him as a complainer given all the gifts he had in life. As our first semester came to an end, finances got really difficult, so I decided to get a massage certification and give professional massages to help pay for tuition - and yes, part of me hoped that would help me get physically closer to my hunk of a roomie to help with aches.
Our first session was awkward, he seemed uncomfortable but I processed it as his own way to challenge his "cool" factor- afterall, this was the mid-90s, liberal school, being gay-friendly was starting to be cool. Anyway, my roomie and I kept up the sessions but his pain didn't improve, actually he continued to get worse, to the point that he had to skip a few diving meets. His doc couldn't figure it out. His sleeping habits got worse. I increased my sessions and added freebies to help.
As our second freshman semester came to an end, my roomie tentatively asked if he could return the favor and give me a massage. I pinched myself figuratively and then the panic set in - what if I got hard? This guy was a Nordic adonis. Regardless, slut that I am, I jumped on the bed face down and pulled my shorts down just a little so he would know I wanted my lower back touched. He turned his desk light off, sat on the edge of my bed, put his clammy hand on my back, and I waited for what seemed to be an eternity. I had my face turned away from him, but I could hear him breathing. My common sense kicked in, and I knew this guy was way anxious. I flipped over with the intent to release him from this awkward moment. As I looked him in the eye, he broke down sobbing. He sobbed uncontrollably with the most gut wrenching howl I've ever heard in my life. I was at loss; all I could do was hold him in my arms, and as he rested his head on my shoulder, I understood.
This young man's aches, insomnia, gf probs were all emotional...I had been living my freshman year with a closeted gay athlete. That's when my gay pride kicked in. Over the next 3 years, I would be there for my gay brother, I would hold him when he was vulnerable, encourage him when he was down, support him with his crazy family, and help him find his gay pride. To me, gay pride is indeed a time for celebration & parades. It is a time to have fun and connect with our community. It is also a time to honor those who have built a path for us. But, ultimately, gay pride is about embracing who we are and helping those struggling with it to come to it on their own terms.
Happy Gay Pride, brothers & sisters! -TR
