JDXXX

I think we got a glimpse of the other side of the story from the quotes provided in the post (http://www.companyofmen.org/threads/not-locking-a-thread-moving-the-party-out-of-the-house.111967/#post-1061437). Or, are you suggesting the quotes were fabricated? Assuming they weren’t fabricated, I can’t think of any justification for the nastiness projected in them. I do agree there are two (and sometimes more) sides to every story. It would be interesting to hear the other side to this current thread. How appropriate that it was started on April 1.

There is another side to the story - absolutely, but out of respect for the forum, myself, and those individuals involved or exposed in the matter - I'd prefer to just let it go, and move forward being I'm very sorry to all of you on the forum had to see that sort of nastiness take place, and do regret terribly with all sincerity that such disturbing occurrences happened behind-the-scenes gone public on purpose.

I don't know what to say other then I'm terribly sorry, you guys that such disturbing actions and disagreements that were behind-the-scenes had to go public, but with no fault of my own as I need to make that clear - it wasn't my doing whatsoever.

However, the drama is over, long, done, and finished. Like to move on with my life with a positive outlook here on the forum start new without harboring of the past occurrences that weren't so pleasant such as what's in the posted link.

I Imagine Your friend being like this...

 

http://lovelace-media.imgix.net/uploads/479/153ea730-016e-0133-4561-0a2ca390b447.gif?

 

 

 

And Your response being THIS..

 

 

 

 

http://49.media.tumblr.com/55b6d42a222f565fa0ddb2d638cb1dde/tumblr_o4vfslstJL1ql5yr7o1_500.gif

LOL.

Well Jock, let's be real here, baby - as much I would love to let haters have it like these women displayed in your post, I still need to uphold myself as a classy guy no matter what anyone says or think about me negatively anymore.

I have learned at this point in my life to just let people say what they're gonna say, and move on as it isn't worth the headache and hassle to debate with people who are out to intentionally hurt others for whatever reason that is irrelevant and petty.

I know I am a genuine person with a good, and kind heart - that's all that matters. I have faults as well, and not perfect in anyway, but I'm one who don't believe in potentially hurting people just for the sake of proving a point to myself. It's not in my nature to do so, and could never see myself acting out like these women(even though you may wanna give a mean-girl a piece of your mind when they get out of hand), but then again, gotta remain a man of class.

http://malialitman.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/revenge.jpg

We may have heard it before, but it is only one side of the story. And a"story' was written after the two people are no longer friends, and not necessarily by JD's choice.

Very true indeed. Thanks for pointing that out. William. Appreciate it.

I'm right there with you dominiking. I only have two guys in my life who are working boys that I can truly call my friends. One doesn't even live in this country. I can honesty say I don't have any issues like these and haven't had any in a very long time. I agree that keeping people at a friendly distance is the best way to stay out of getting caught up in any drama, and we all know how easy getting caught up can be.

Thanks Killian - you and Dom's post give me an idea being I like how you formulate and separate who are your "real" friends and who are more associates.

Honestly, I need to start screening who I call friends more carefully, and not be so much of an open book when it comes to just accepting anyone as a "friend" in my life.

I'm starting to realize not everybody is meant to a friend or have the qualities of what you looking for in one. True friendship develope over time, even years in order to determine if they're a good fit in that department.

So, maybe it's good for from now on to just ease up on accepting anyone as a friend.

Good post you guys. Very beneficial. .

Does any one think he is putting himself in danger by posting this kind of ad?

I don't think danger harm wise, but he could get(if not already) a bad reputation for being a racist based on his refusal to service Black men in his Rentmen.com ad.

I'm surprise Rentmen.com would allow someone to state such discrimination on there site in the first place.

A-men. Well said.

+1.

I'm with you, and Strafe all the way.

Hey JD,

 

You may have a similar experience to what I'm describing now. As escorts we often meet people high on the social ladder. I often noticed that the higher someone is on that ladder and the more successful they are, the kinder and more pleasant they are. (Actually, I think that that's one of the reasons why they are successful, not the only reason, but one of the reasons.)

 

I sometimes say, If someone's really good and successful, there's no need for them to brag about it. Others will tell again others that he's good and the successful guy will get the confirmation constantly during his work. No need for him to repeat that outside work. If however someone is not that good, they need to create the impression that they're good themselves and the only way to do it is to start "spreading the 'message' themselves". I call this compensation behavior. From what I read in your post, I believe this is what you are describing, and you may have made that conclusion yourself as well.

 

A funny thing happened during lunch at one of my previous jobs. Two guys at the other end of the table were bragging about how much sex they had and how many "chicks" they had had. To me and a few other colleagues at our side of the table it was a bit annoying and suddenly the sentence "the more they talk about it, the less they do it" fell out of my mouth. You won't believe how fast they stopped bragging about their sexual escapades.

 

If you think that your friend is also showing compensation behavior, and if you keep this in mind the next time he's bragging, you may feel much less bad. After all, you may be doing better than him.

 

Sometimes I just start confirming what someone else said. I will say things like "Boy, you're so lucky. Geez, you must be the happiest guy in the world. Goodness, there are a lot of guys chasing you." etc. etc. In my mind I will be thinking "yeah, yeah, yeah". After a while he may get the message that you're playing games with him and his bragging may even stop.

 

Anyway, if you have tried everything you could think of, there may be one remaining thing you can do. Imagine a scale and in one of the two scales you put all the positive and pleasant things of knowing your friend. In the other scale you put the negative and unpleasant things of his company. Which way do the scales go?

 

Most of all, I hope this helps.

 

Hugs, Anton.

Hey Buddy,

Long time no see. Everything you have said makes sense, and will think long and hard about what you said which is dead on correct to what I've been feeling about my friend, and his "compensation behavior". ;)

Hey JD,

 

I think we have been posting almost at the same moment, and you may have answered the question I just asked in my previous post.

 

Regarding cutting them both loose, I wouldn't cut the client loose. Do you want to operate on the same (low) level as your friend, or do you want to be more classy and shine above his level? If yes to the latter, you might want to continue seeing the client. (I don't think you can blame the client for being misinformed.)

 

Again I hope this helps.

 

Cheers, Bart.

The reason I was considering on dismissing the client is because I know it was true as to why he stopped seeing me being he admitted he took in what told him for which he should know I don't do drugs, and it was wrong for my client to dismiss in a arrogant manner like he did by voiding me. I feel at this point he is only seeing me on the count of my friend making him uncomfortable in they're past meetings with his unprofessionalism bragging. If it wasn't for my friend failing him - he wouldn't be seeing me right now til this day. .

However, I get what your saying and will consider your advice, and words of wisdom which are good points and quite informative.

Hugs,

You guys are not going to believe this as I am so pissed off beyond belief at this point - I just finished an overnight session with long-term client of 6 years just now, and come to find out that my "so-called" close friend has actually been trashing other escorts(including me) telling my client that I'm a drug and meth addict. The client wanted a 3-way session, and asked if I knew anyone who I can bring on board, so I recommended my friend to join in the mix who was happening to be visiting me in LA at the time.

The client admitted to me he saw my friend in Nebraska for a one-on-one session about 2 months ago for an overnight session, and supposedly this is when my friend told the client I was a drug addict. I told the client to prove that my so-called friend was lying I would be more than happy to take a drug test, and have the results to him by Tuesday. The client felt that wasn't necessary and have decided to dismiss seeing my friend at this point seeing he is cut-throat and territorial. Basically to have the client turn on me so he can have FULL access to the client.

My client opened up, and stated during our conversation he was turned off how high-maintenance my friend was by shelling around of his past life with his ex-lover, and told him things that appeared he was bragging or trying to present himself as a one of a kind escort that everyone wants cause he has a big penis.

I am highly upset to have found this out being I never said bad things about my friend to any client, and was the one who introduced him, and referred him to the client, and this is how he treats me in the end - by backstabbing me, and lying to the client that I'm a drug addict. Oh no!! I'm officially through with this bastard. What he did was horrible and highly unprofessional.

I guess this is what I get being around people who are full of themselves like he is. .

Honestly I think I am done with my friend seeing now he's slandering me costing me clients I recommend to him. I was informed by the client he voided from seeing me somewhat based on what my friend told him. That's ashame being now I don't care to see the client anymore cause of the fact he dismissed me on the count of what another escort(he's known for a lesser time) has said to him that wasn't true.

The only reason the client decided to see me again (from what I gathered) is due to the fact my friend pissed him off in someway, so now he wants to resume seeing me again, and I don't know if I'm comfortable with seeing the client again after finding out he turned on me based on a lie. My client should know better to believe(after knowing me for over 6 years) that I'm not a drug addict or thief.

I just hope I'm doing the right thing by cutting them BOTH loose. . What a swift kick in the groin this is to find out the very friend your unsure of pulls this stunt, and has been stabbing me in the back for while lying to clients on me about my persona as an escort who does drugs.

Its unfortunate that dakota doesn't service all races but you can't force him to do something he doesn't want to do. Yeah it may sound harsh when he puts "no blacks" in his profile but its his profile and at least he's telling you its not a good fit so you avoid wasting your time.. Use that anger if what he writes frustrates you and hire more minorities then, we'll appreciate it

I agree, Dom and can understand your frustration behind this matter - Being of an African-American (who happens to be of an escort) it offends me deeply indeed that an escort would discriminate towards minorities. It's very sad, but I do hope one day his views about black people will change as no one I don't care what race you are is better then any race as we as people are all the same in this world.

Maybe from this post members here on the forum can deeply realize from this experience that being Black still is a struggle in America seeing how we're judged, rejected or persecuted in some way, shape or form. Just cause the world puts us to shame for being what God made us, don't mean we have to accept such needless shame from others.

However, I glad there are people on the forum and outside of the forum who are more "open-minded" and not see a persons color as a reason to interact or be as equal as they are. I know I'm one of them as I too see people as people, and NOT judge them by the color of they're skin for me to interact with that special person I may wanna know socially or sexually.

Why limit yourself being you can enjoy peoples company in ALL races? Just doesn't make any sense at all whatsoever, and we as escorts need to be more open-minded then this as I feel sorry for this young man viewing Blacks in a negative way by not taking Black clients, and to state harshly "No Blacks". Very upsetting to see in the escorting community in today society being how WE as gay people are also discriminated and here who have Gays discriminating towards each other. I mean - Come on - Really? It's mindboggling to me on how hypocritical that is to wanna fight to have equal rights as Gay people, but discriminate towards someone else who's a different skin color then you. Wow. Unbelievable.

It's ashame see an escort/professional have such "rules" when it comes to race, but it's his decision, his business, his life, and we need to respect his choice whether we like it or not. He may judge me or other Black people, but I will not take upon myself to judge him of what he is which is a human being, and not just a White guy. There is more to him(just like the rest of us) then him just being another hot White guy. I'm sure behind the surface he's a cool guy to be with all the way around. Based on his post I read - he seems to be down-to-earth with a sense-of-humor which is good to see how he interacts socially. Just wish the "No Blacks" situation wasn't of a limitation for him. .

Sounds like you have tried everything I might suggest. You now have three options:

 

Change his behavior. You tried

Live with his behavior. Can you just accept his bragging and not let it bother you?

Walk away. Extricate yourself from the relationship.

 

Some folks just need to be, have, feel MORE than everyone else.... More happy, more sad, more wealthy, more poor, more healthy, more sick. I had a college friend who was like this. If I was in pain, his pain was greater ("you think you have pain? Why my back requires I take morphine three times a day")

If I got an acting role I had sought, he was going to star in a movie. If i found ten bucks, he found a hundred. You get the idea. I tried to change it through heart-to-heart talks, and I tried to live with it, but I was pissed off all the time. I dropped him many years ago and haven't communicated for 30 years. Sad, but inevitable. I still miss him for some reason.

JD, just tell him you are happy no matter how his life works out but that you love him and don't need all the details of his life. Tell him he doesn't need to prove anything to you. He doesn't need to tell you how successful he had been because you like him whether he has been successful or not.

JD, one day he will catch you when you are not in the mood and you will take care of it.

Well, the situation doesn't only apply to "escorts". As a civilian, I had 2 friends (they were a couple) who always made "everything" about THEM. When we would make plans to do something, it had to be their ideas, what they wanted, when they wanted. They wouldn't be the least bit flexible on anything. They were braggadocious and "self serving" about everything. If you did something, they "ultimately did it better" . If you bought something, what they bought was better. It was exhausting... I tried to overlook and ignore, but after several years I just couldn't anymore. I confronted them and told them how I felt, but instead of receiving an understanding of my issues, I got the "oh, you're just jealous" line. At that point I realized they were all about themselves, and really didn't comprehend the idea of "Friendship"... I cut them loose...because i was getting absolutely nothing from the relationship....

 

So JD, my advice is to weigh the Pro's and cons of the relationship, and decide if you can exist in the space created for you with him.... Usually when you sit down and seriously THINK about it, the picture becomes perfectly clear as to what you need to do....

I agree too. You guys are absolutely 100 percent right all the way with all your suggestions. Couldn't be put any better way as to how I feel. Each day I'm thinking more and more on how to sort out this dilemma and put an end to this bragging business he's conducting.

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen Of The Forum:

Hope all of you are doing fine and well on this happy Friday.

As for me, I'm doing great as I'm relaxing enjoying a nice cold bowl of Strawberry Ice Cream, and watching Queer As Folk -Season 4.

Love me some Ben Buckner(Robert Gant). My dream husband. LOL. . He's SOOOO HOTT!!! I think him and Brian would have made more of a hot couple on the show. What a hot scene it was to see on Season 2 Ben and Brian did fuck together at one point as a hook-up before Ben met Michael. ;).

What was hot about scene: Ben was the bottom for Brian. Usually Ben is a top for Micheal. Not in this case with his hook-up with Brian. Lol. :rolleyes:. Ben does have a hot ass on him. Same with Michael too. .

Anyway - Here is my dilemma, folks, and need everyone's advice on how to handle or deal with such a complicating issue I'm facing with my close friend, so here it goes (sigh).......

Have a close friend I've known for 7 years now who is also a fellow escort/masseur in the Midwest. We talk on the phone at least once a week, and even visit each other 4 times a year.

Don't get me wrong, I love the guy - really I do, but he gets on my freaking nerves with his constant bragging how in well demand he is in everything. Without asking "how you doing - how's you're day going", it's right away all about HIM, and how clients are lining up to see him, ect. Sometimes I wonder does he intend to lift himself up on a pedestal on purpose to intimidate me or make me invy him.

I think he's trying to make me feel inferior as it appears to me that's what he's doing at times seeing how he has to make the conversation all about him, and how grand he is to everybody on earth.

He'll re-route a conversation we'll be having about a world events or working on our future goals, and right away he'll make the subject about him on how he lived lavishly with his ex-lover all over the world, and how his ex-lover of 19 years was wealthy, owning houses together, owning lavish cars, traveling around the world, knowing wealthy celebrities, Congressman, English royalty, ect. You name it - him and his ex-lover done it.

I become so annoyed when he speaks or goes on and on about how guys outside of escorting chase after him, and hit on him wherever he goes to be his boyfriend. Proves to me he has low self esteem, and do feel he exaggerates a tad much as nobody is that lucky all the time - everytime like that 95% of the time in they're lives. Makes my head spin as it's pathetic to me how someone has to brag to such annoying extents like this.

Had a heart-to-heart talk with him a month ago, and explained to him how his behavior in bragging to me or others can be a turn-off, and he need to get a grip on this before people think he's too high-maintenance or one who's a show-off. What does he do? Be on the defense, and say how I'm being too sensetive or jealous. I broke out laughing because it's so ridiculous to me of why would I be jealous of someone who has to brag to me or clients on how well they've had it in the past with a wealthy lover, and how high in demand they are client wise.

I know he's well loved and in high demand by clients as I've worked with him in the past as he's really good at what he does, and am happy for him, and his success, but when you throw such success constantly in someone's face all the time trying to make the other escort feel they are beneath you or inferior - to me, that's going way overboard, and is considered as bragging in my opinion.

Some may ask "Have you talk to your friend, and told him how you feel about his behavior"? Some may say " Maybe he doesn't see or is aware he's bragging being he's sharing his life experiences with you as a friend". Both maybe true, and he maybe sharing his life experiences, yes, but there is a difference in sharing your life experiences, and just plain being a show-off intentionally on purpose to prove to someone how well you have it made in life in and out of escorting.

What do you guys think I should do about my bragging friend? Should I be firm, and confront him again on how uncomfortable it makes me feel of him bragging too much or cut him loose?

May the suggestions begin........:).............

Anyone has information on Rock in San Diego. I would like to hire him

 

https://www.massagem4m.com/ca/san-diego/16499/

Awesome guy. He's a good friend of mine, and excellent masseur as we've worked together a few times. Not only is he hot to look at, but he's hot in bedroom too. WOOF. ;)

Highly recommended!!!! Call him as you won't be disappointed.

I never hold a grudge, as life it too short to hold a grudge. I do tend to forgive people, as that is what I was taught by my parents growing up, as well as going through a Christian school. As for forgetting, sometimes I do, but other times I just keep up my guard more.

+1:D:D

This is taking the high road how?

I think that's a question that should be asked of everyone who replied on this thread with different outlooks, and not just me as I replied on different post is that taking the "high road" is best. Some people think vengeance another answer, some say it's best to forgive, but not forget. Isn't just me.

I say it's best in the end to take the "high road" forgive, and forget without creating vengeance of any kind. Like you said, isn't worth holding onto the negativity.

There is another thread with the same title for some reason:

http://www.companyofmen.org/threads/do-you-forgive-and-forget-or-hold-a-grudge.111276/#post-1051865

We're everywhere.

 

~ Boomer ~

Damn - I didn't know you guys can be that vicious, and some of you thought I was bad. :p.

As some of you know here on the forum, Me and Steven Kesslar's birthday are on the same day in September, and we are both Virgos that have very strong opinions, and stubbornness as a mules at times. LOL. But, can be very kind-loving people as you have seen in many of our interactions on and off the forum.

I wonder if that's what a Virgo's personality is truly like knowing we both have of that same traits at times or just sheer coincidence.

Time to break out the astrology book I guess.

I'm a true Scorpio through and through. Scorpio's forget NOTHING and forgive NOTHING and they get even with a vengeance.

And it's amazing to me how BVB took my point of view the wrong way when I pointed out what you just mentioned just now on how some people can be that way in taking vengeance on they're own accord and just let the "universe" deal with it. Then again, when one takes vengeance upon themselves to get even, it doesn't make the innocent person who was wronged look good as two wrongs don't make a right.

Thank you, Epigonos for proving my point exactly - just like how BVB proved his to me(for which I understood entirely where he was coming from, but don't think he was trying to get the jest of mine too well). .

Personally, It's just best to take once again take the" high road" and just walk away. Again, what goes around, comes around. It's not wishing ill on someone, but just a proven fact of life is when you do someone wrong viciously to it can tend to come back to haunt you.

My Mother, Grandmother, Aunts, Uncles, and all have always taught me that growing up, and glad it's always been installed and drilled in my head, so I don't have bad things come my way knowing of such a "myth".

Yes they know I had a thing. I texted both of them letting them know. I received an initial text response from them and then nothing. No follow up for a week now. Do they know they let me down? right now I don't feel like they care.

It's them feeling guilty for what they've done to you by hurting you is why the act of avoidance which is they're problem, baby - it's they're issue to deal with and work out - not yours. I don't think it's a sense that they don't care, but can't face of what they've done to you that was hurtful or "stained" the friendship in some sort of way that hurt you to a point of questioning the friendship or association you have with them.

We are aren't we JDXXX? Partly because you bring out the best in us sir. Your posts make us laugh, cry, get angry but mostly make us think.

Very sweet of you to say, Jack, but trust me - I don't mean to make anyone angry or come off insensitive to others point of view. I feel it's fair to voice my opinion or advice here and there as well like the rest of you.

Sorry if my point of view or advice tends to offend others which is not meant to be hurtful or vain in anyway, and do apologize if my points came off as so at times. :(.

You've missed my point... Good luck on that 'High-Road'

No, I think your missing my point entirely which is basic common sense stuff, but it's okay.

I get your point loud and clear, but your not trying to understand where I'm coming from as it's not a one way street here. You need to understand the other person's point of view, and not just your own, BVB.

It's good to take others advice sometimes too, and not feel you have to be right on everything as I have a voice too you know, and sorry if that offends you.

I'm always amused when people claim to take the 'High-Road' but then wish Karma to do their dirty work for them, and wish harm onto to others.

No different of how it amazes me when people do awful acts or say hurtful things unto others, and get away with it. That's what's so-called "unjust" to me.

Thank you for proving my point. I don't sit around with a bag of popcorn, and wish revenge on anyone. Each to his own. I am left wondering, who the mean-girl really is.

Like I said, I don't wish no one ill will on anybody, but what do think people mean when they say "take the high road" as what goes around comes around by you walking away by not retaliating.

I'm always amused when people claim to take the "High Road" but then wish Karma to do their dirty work, and have bad things happen to others.

It's not wishing bad on someone at all, but sometimes it's good for people who do nasty things unto others continuously to get a good dose of they're own medicine or else they'll keep doing it.

Why do you think our parents would punish us at times when we were bad or disobedient? To teach us a lesson so we don't keep repeating the same patterns that got us in trouble in the first place right? It's the scnero in this case when I refer to the word "Karma".

It's even written in the bible of those who "reap what they sow" meaning you get back what you put out there unto others as I'm a firm believer in that which is why I always believe in doing good and not bad. Being brought up as a Christian - it's the best way to avoid chaos, and not have "Karma" come back at you.

Mama always said " Don't get mad, get even".

True, but sometimes by the wounded individual getting even doesn't make the situation better - actually getting even can make a compromising situation 10 times worse and doesn't make you any better then they are.

Best to let karma do it's job as you just kick back with a bag of buttered popcorn and watch it all unfold for them which is the best revenge one can gain victory from anyday as you didn't have to do a thing.

From your post, I hear you are still stinging. It is ok to feel pain and be disappointed and even be mad. Allow yourself to work thru these feelings bc if any of those FB friends come back to make amends, you'll need to be in the right space to allow them your forgiveness. Hearing what you are saying here, I have a funny feeling it is going to take you longer than the average bear to be in that space. Don't worry, you are not working on any deadline. The real friends will hang in there to enjoy your forgiveness when you can.

+1.