adventurous old guy

Ok, my friend, you are stuck on SEX. Just bc you choose to believe this forum should be all about dick and escorts, it doesn't make it so. That aspect is fun, but frankly, it gets tedious after a while. My observation is that your heels have dug into "this forum is all about sex." The forum has changed - whether you like it or not. Could you give me the benefit of suspending the sex & race cards in this thread for a second here and think about two other words instead? The words are intent & impact.
 
I'm going to choose to believe that Dakota had the best of intentions by frankly & honestly stating his preference to not be contacted by Black clients. Maybe his intent was to be transparent, save himself & clients awkwardness based on whatever experience, preference, bias he may have. Yes, it could be that Dakota is a racist, but let's not make negative assumptions, and instead focus on the impact of his exclusionary statement: No Black guys please.
 
Man, that statement stings. It evokes so many memories when I've seen women, LGBT, and other minorities be bypassed for services or recognition bc of who they are. Man, that statement hurts bc I've seen white men be shunned and made scapegoats for systematic & institutional racism in America. Man, that statement has negative impact on me & others bc it is a bitter reminder of how uncivil yet negatively PC we've become in our good country. JJK...none of what I said has to do with sex. Unbeknownst to Dakota, his statement awakens pain, shame, anger, fear, grandstanding, and so much more.
 
I'm going to choose to believe what Dakota doesn't realize is the painful impact his statement has on the entire client base - not just on Black clients. His overt statement hurts (in different levels of pain) the very client base he is trying to appeal to. Consciously and subconsciously, the impact of his exclusionary statement will plague the clients and the cool experience Dakota is trying to create. This is not about who you choose to sleep with, this is about the enormous emotional impact language and words have. Let's not undermine that.
 
Now, @Dakota, I don't want you to reconsider your biases or preferences - that's your baggage to deal with. I do hope you reconsider the pain and impact you are (perhaps unknowingly) creating on many of us who would be prospects. Your statement (no black guys please) hurts. I choose to believe that was not your intent, but that's the impact. Give it some thought. Respectfully, -TR

LOL.
 
Appreciated this silly moment in an intense back and forth. Thanks Will.
 
Dakota, like several others I give you credit for reading this stuff, chilling and not responding defensively. I do hope one of your take-aways is to see just how POWERFUL words can be, in this case your words! I think that's because they trigger feelings and memories. Maybe you didn't intend to hurt feelings, just state a preference openly and honestly. In your ad, you describe yourself as a nice guy and I give you that benefit of the doubt. But in a country where there is as much racism as here, words can hurt even when that's not the intent.
 
Sorry if this sounds sort of parental. You haven't asked for advice -- who the hell am I to offer it, right? I get that. This is just a hope that you think about your words as you go about your business because my gut feel is that you truly are a nice guy.
 
Now I'm going to take Will's advice here and transition to another thread!

LOL.
 
Appreciated this silly moment in an intense back and forth. Thanks Will.
 
Dakota, like several others I give you credit for reading this stuff, chilling and not responding defensively. I do hope one of your take-aways is to see just how POWERFUL words can be, in this case your words! I think that's because they trigger feelings and memories. Maybe you didn't intend to hurt feelings, just state a preference openly and honestly. In your ad, you describe yourself as a nice guy and I give you that benefit of the doubt. But in a country where there is as much racism as here, words can hurt even when that's not the intent.
 
Sorry if this sounds sort of parental. You haven't asked for advice -- who the hell am I to offer it, right? I get that. This is just a hope that you think about your words as you go about your business because my gut feel is that you truly are a nice guy.
 
Now I'm going to take Will's advice here and transition to another thread!

Okay, gents.
 
Why don't we just be done here?
 
SimplyAdam's over on another thread asking what we'd like to see in a new photo shoot.
 
Run look and offer the 2 cents there.

Oh good God!
 
I think a lot of us (I included) participating in this thread have put Dakota through the proverbial ringer the past few days.
 
Why not let's give him a break?
 
He just joined this forum community yesterday and it certainly (from my experience) can be damned overwhelming trying to dodge the shit-slinging whether you're a provider or a buyer who might have miss-stepped (in some folks' eyes.)

I agree, Dom and can understand your frustration behind this matter - Being of an African-American (who happens to be of an escort) it offends me deeply indeed that an escort would discriminate towards minorities. It's very sad, but I do hope one day his views about black people will change as no one I don't care what race you are is better then any race as we as people are all the same in this world.
 
Maybe from this post members here on the forum can deeply realize from this experience that being Black still is a struggle in America seeing how we're judged, rejected or persecuted in some way, shape or form. Just cause the world puts us to shame for being what God made us, don't mean we have to accept such needless shame from others.
 
However, I glad there are people on the forum and outside of the forum who are more "open-minded" and not see a persons color as a reason to interact or be as equal as they are. I know I'm one of them as I too see people as people, and NOT judge them by the color of they're skin for me to interact with that special person I may wanna know socially or sexually.
 
Why limit yourself being you can enjoy peoples company in ALL races? Just doesn't make any sense at all whatsoever, and we as escorts need to be more open-minded then this as I feel sorry for this young man viewing Blacks in a negative way by not taking Black clients, and to state harshly "No Blacks". Very upsetting to see in the escorting community in today society being how WE as gay people are also discriminated and here who have Gays discriminating towards each other. I mean - Come on - Really? It's mindboggling to me on how hypocritical that is to wanna fight to have equal rights as Gay people, but discriminate towards someone else who's a different skin color then you. Wow. Unbelievable.
 
It's ashame see an escort/professional have such "rules" when it comes to race, but it's his decision, his business, his life, and we need to respect his choice whether we like it or not. He may judge me or other Black people, but I will not take upon myself to judge him of what he is which is a human being, and not just a White guy. There is more to him(just like the rest of us) then him just being another hot White guy. I'm sure behind the surface he's a cool guy to be with all the way around. Based on his post I read - he seems to be down-to-earth with a sense-of-humor which is good to see how he interacts socially. Just wish the "No Blacks" situation wasn't of a limitation for him. .

Where/how did you find MY picture??????

Steven hit this nail on the head IMHO. It's one thing to know what you like and don't and be honest about that, quite another to frame that as a blanket stereotype. Really - Dakota has never met a black person he's found attractive or interesting? Hard to believe. The first thing that came to mind when I saw that statement -- which offended me -- is to question his maturity. Wondering if he's a clueless kid rather than an ASSHOLE, given that he's been quite responsive to me about what he likes and offers to his clients.

Will, I'm 61 -- older than middle age, and Dakota agreed to see me. I know I'm older than some prefer, and so was very upfront about age when I contacted him. Even followed up with a pic to level the playing field. He seemed totally cool about it.
 
Also want to give kudos to Dakota for entering the fray and interacting here. Nice to see conversation about the topic of race that is as open and sort of honest as the one I'm seeing here, especially given that people have strong and different points of view on the subject.

Will, I'm 61 -- older than middle age, and Dakota agreed to see me. I know I'm older than some prefer, and so was very upfront about age when I contacted him. Even followed up with a pic to level the playing field. He seemed totally cool about it.
 
Also want to give kudos to Dakota for entering the fray and interacting here. Nice to see conversation about the topic of race that is as open and sort of honest as the one I'm seeing here, especially given that people have strong and different points of view on the subject.

Steven hit this nail on the head IMHO. It's one thing to know what you like and don't and be honest about that, quite another to frame that as a blanket stereotype. Really - Dakota has never met a black person he's found attractive or interesting? Hard to believe. The first thing that came to mind when I saw that statement -- which offended me -- is to question his maturity. Wondering if he's a clueless kid rather than an ASSHOLE, given that he's been quite responsive to me about what he likes and offers to his clients.

NO ASSHOLES PLEASE.
 
Those words actually never appeared in anything I ever said or wrote to promote myself as an escort, and yet my policy for 15 years is I have discriminated against assholes when I screen clients who want to hire me.
 
This may shock you, but speaking as an escort it is actually way easier to determine things like race and age than whether somebody is an asshole, and to screen out undesirable clients accordingly.
 
The reason I would never actually state "No Assholes Please" as a policy - even though it is my policy - is that saying so would make me sound tactless and judgmental. Saying "No blacks" is tactless, and arguably racist. If the guy wants to limit his business that way, including business by white guys who are offended by what they will perceive as racist language, I'd say it's a free country, and he can limit his business in any way he chooses.
 
The problem I have with tactlessness is not so much that it makes the person who makes the tactless comment look bad. It's that it makes the subject of his tactlessness feel bad. I've had more than one black escort tell me that saying "no blacks" makes them feel like their skin color is a disease. In my book, reversing it and having escorts who are paid for their services say it to clients is even more tactless.
 
My main point is that it is completely unnecessary. I personally think it's both tactless and ignorant to assume and then state that you won't enjoy having sex with someone just because of the color of their skin. Even if you say, "I tried it, and it's just not a turn on" - I'd still say there are lots of ways for escorts to screen out clients they'd rather not meet without saying "You are fat" or "You are old" or "You are black" or "You are an asshole."
 
Anyway, the nice think about tactlessness is it invites tactlessness, which is kinda fun. I just emailed the asshole and told him I'm white and thought he was the kind of asshole little prick I'd never hire.

I've wondered if there is someone with multiple personality disorder with different handles taunting others and keeping the threads going! The angel, the antagonist, the bitch, the hot boy everyone wants but no one has met, the writing diarrhea guy...all one person. Spooky. Of course, that's just my conspiracy theory disorder kicking in

I am old and have no problem with an escort turning down my request because of my age. In fact, I look for escorts who specifically invite my business in their ad comments. This is much better than wasting my and his time and money, because he is creeped out by my fit (muscular, 5' 9", 175 pound), but wrinkled body and or 6 inch, cut, but rather wrinkled, but still pretty firm cock. I want to feel loved, or at least liked.
 
I am all about equal treatment and equal opportunity,but life is short guys, and some preferences are just too personal to be measured against a PC rule as long as we all have choices. Why would I worry about an escort who has a daddy phobia, when there are gorgeous, talented guys who like them?

In fact, a bit more experienced now!

My impressions and experience exactly. Only thing I'd add is that his ad and reviews emphasize his role as top, and I avoided contracting him for years because of this. Based on feedback here, took a shot, contacted him and had a great session. There is no question that he is an experienced bottom. Review pending.

All in line with my experiences with him: Andres likes sex!
 
So if you are looking to pay someone not to have sex with you, Andres is probably not your guy.

Have hired him twice, once about two or three years ago as a masseur, although it turned into a full escort session at his instigation (with no upcharge and I think it was more like a market masseur rate back then), and once about five or six years ago (my best estimate) as an escort. I wouldn't call him small framed. The ads and reviews say he's 5'10' and 180 lbs., which seems about right, and he's genuinely muscular to my impression. He's hot, an excellent kisser, sensual, versatile, willing, manly, into man sex, and eager for you to enjoy yourself. His English was very limited the first time and somewhat improved the second. I would say that, if I had the budget, I hire him monthly or more often.

Andres is a very good guy. Built, sexy, sweet and eager to please.