Me too... I wasn't very active when HIV started in the 80's and from that time till PrEP was created it was an act of irresponsible madness having sex without a a condom. After 6 months on PrEP I finally got the courage to BB.
Hopefully you won't be condom-shamed in this thread by the PrEP team or call anti-science bigot. Cutler X was offered $100 extra by a forum member to wear a condom while topping him, and he simply replied: "I'm not doing such a thing!". I remember a time when escort occasionally would be offered extra to BB, the smart ones "just said NO!"