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The Deer Hunters

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It was weird driving douwn I-95 today between New Haven and NYC. There was a jeep with a little attachment on the back, on which was placed the carcass or a deer. Creeped me out! No more White Castle - it's strictly City Market-let-the Mexican-make-your-salad with sun-dried tomatoes and corn from now on! NO more of that violent exploitation for me.

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The Hunting Song


Almost every day during the hunting season you see at least one item in the newspapers about somebody who has shot somebody else, under the impression that he was a deer with a red hat, perhaps. Maybe a large flesh-colored squirrel. At any rate, it seems to me that this marks an encouraging new trend in the field of blood sports, and deserves a new type of hunting song which I present herewith:


I always will remember,

'Twas a year ago November,

I went out to hunt some deer

On a morning bright and clear.

I went and shot the maximum the game laws would allow:

Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow.


I was in no mood to trifle,

I took down my trusty rifle

And went out to stalk my prey.

What a haul I made that day!

I tied them to my fender, and I drove them home somehow:

Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow.


The law was very firm, it

Took away my permit,

The worst punishment I ever endured.

It turned out there was a reason,

Cows were out of season,

And one of the hunters wasn't insured.


People ask me how I do it,

And I say "There's nothin' to it,

You just stand there lookin' cute,

And when something moves, you shoot!"

And there's ten stuffed heads in my trophy room right now:

Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a pure-bred Guernsey cow.

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  • 4 weeks later...

>I've always liked that saying "I'm not a vegetarian because I

>love animals; I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants."


That was funny! It's similar to what one of my best buddies, who hunts with bow and arrow only, says, "vegetables aren't food, it's what food eats". :)

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I don't have a problem with vegetarians or PETA amimal rights types.

Lead you life as you wish, JUST DON"T TELL ME HOW TO RUN MY LIFE.


For the record I eat meat fsh and poultry. I drink milk and eat eggs, have a leather wallet, seveal leather belts, leather shoes, two pieces of furniture with leather, and Oh My my car has leather interior.

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