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John Kerry Opens Mouth & Inserts Foot, Calf, Knee, Thigh & Hip

Fin Fang Foom
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From The New York Times:


Mr. Kerry stepped boldly into the verbal minefield early, arriving at a front-porch session with supporters in Canonsburg, Pa., near Pittsburgh. As he likes to do, he brandished a bit of local color to show he wasn't just any interloping politician blowing through town.

But in so doing he seemed to forget that Republicans have been tearing him down for months as a vacillating, indecisive, finger-in-the-wind politician of the worst order.


"Everybody told me, 'God, if you're coming to Canonsburg, you've got to find time to go to Toy's, and he'll take care of you,'" Mr. Kerry said, dropping the name of a restaurant his motorcade had passed on the way in. "I understand it's my kind of place, because you don't have to - you know, when they give you the menu, I'm always struggling: Ah, what do you want?


"He just gives you what he's got, right?" Mr. Kerry added, continuing steadily off a gangplank of his own making: "And you don't have to worry, it's whatever he's cooked up that day. And I think that's the way it ought to work, for confused people like me who can't make up our minds."







Did Karl Rove drug this man?


Apoplectically yours,



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Bush Business: Selling Hot Air


>Did Karl Rove drug this man?


Word on the street is that Bush can find his own drugs. However, for those behind the political curve, Kerry is simply taking a page out of the Bush playbook. If you don't like self-deprecating humor, how can you stand George W. Bush?


At campaign stop, Bush pokes fun at himself

He charms Ohio crowd

By Anne E. Kornblut, Boston Globe Staff | August 6, 2004


COLUMBUS, Ohio -- Over the years, President Bush has mastered the art of self-deprecating humor on the public stage, routinely sympathizing with crying babies at crowded events and apologizing for showing up to speak instead of his wife.


But even by his standards, Bush took modest humor to new heights yesterday. In the course of a single event here, Bush compared himself to a hot-air salesman, a lawyer, and a talk-show host -- and hardly bothered to disguise the fact that audience members were there as political props, not as undecided voters trying to make up their minds or glean information about the candidate.


"I've asked some citizens to come and help me make my points," Bush said, before introducing several guests at the "Ask President Bush" appearance in Columbus.


Bush, who can sound exceptionally animated when he talks about combating terrorism or deposing Saddam Hussein, could barely bring himself to mention the domestic issue -- flexible hours for workers -- that was supposed to dominate the town-hall-style event, as a counter to criticism from Senator John F. Kerry that he lacks a second-term agenda for the economy.


The Kerry campaign had anticipated such an intense push by Bush on flex time that it arranged a conference call by Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton on the subject before the president's appearance. But Bush brushed past the topic.


When he did mention the flex-time proposal, Bush did so by putting words in the mouth of an invited guest, Phil Derrow, CEO of Ohio Transmission Corp.


"He's got another interesting idea that I think is very important for the country to adopt -- flex time," Bush said as he wandered back and forth across the stage, microphone in hand.


"I'm glad you told me what my interesting idea was," Derrow replied.


"I'm not a lawyer, but it looks like I'm leading the witness," Bush cracked, breaking into a wry smile as he acknowledged he had been caught reading from the prepared script.


At another point in the event, Bush asked Derrow to describe his company, which owns and operates air compressor stations. "And then we sell air to our customers," Derrow said.


"You and I are in the same business," Bush retorted. "Is it hot air, by any chance?"


As always, the crowd lapped up his self-deprecating touch, and Bush hunched his shoulders as he laughed at his own joke.


But for all his impromptu humor on the stump, Bush had difficulty getting through a practiced text at the White House earlier in the day, as he signed a defense appropriations bill.


In trying to pump up Americans' confidence that the government is preparing for any form of attack, Bush risked doing the opposite, saying: "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."

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RE: Bush Business: Selling Hot Air


Actually, one of the things I love most about politics is watching the candidates screw up. They all do. Now that we have all the media all the time focused on these guys, we'll probably see more of it. I hope so. It makes the whole process more human, less scripted, more revealing and a lot more fun when these guys stumble over themselves.

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