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Testing Your Republican Credentials


Paul Revere
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Thanks to today's Boston Globe for the Dan Payne column below. It made me think of Doug when I read it:

 

Testing your Republican credentials

By Dan Payne | August 21, 2004

 

RU GOP? With only nine days until Republican convention, look at

statements below. If you agree with any one of them, you belong in New York. (Some items from anonymous Internet sources.)

 

 

 

We never attack John Kerry's combat heroism; that's what we pay crackpot Kerry-hating veterans group to do.

 

If senior citizens want cheaper drug prices from Canada, they should move to Canada.

 

Major oil corporations should shape American energy policy. Even if it means highest gasoline prices ever.

 

We should not pay our United Nations dues; Secretary of State Colin Powell didn't mean to lie to UN about WMD; but now UN should bail George Bush's sorry behind out of Iraq.

 

Donald Rumsfeld is doing terrific job as Pentagon boss -- if you ignore his being suckered by turncoat Ahmed Chalabi who said grateful Iraqis would welcome American liberators. Ignore 953 US soldiers dead and 5,976 wounded; and 12,000 Iraq civilians killed. Ignore Abu Ghraib prison abuses. And ignore that troops going to Iraq had to buy own costly body armor, then weld scrap metal onto thin-skinned Humvees.

 

Dick Cheney was right to ridicule John Kerry for saying he'd be "sensitive" in fighting war. Cheney also right same day when he said on radio that battle in Najaf "is obviously a sensitive area, and we are very much aware of its sensitivity."

 

Firing American workers and sending their jobs to India is unavoidable economic dislocation. Laid-off manufacturing workers don't mind asking, "Would you like fries with that?"

 

Women can't be trusted with decisions about their own bodies, but multi-national corporations like Halliburton can make life and death decisions without regulation.

 

Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals.

 

Being drug addict is moral failing and crime, unless you're conservative radio host. Then it's illness and we pray for your recovery.

 

Group sex and drug use are sins unless you are Republican governor of Cauli-fornia.

 

If condoms aren't in schools, adolescents won't have sex.

 

Global warming is junk science, but creationism should be taught in public schools.

 

One president lying about extramarital affair was grounds for impeachment. Another president lying about reasons to go to war should be reelected.

 

Courts should not write new rights into Constitution. But rewriting Constitution to deny the rights of gay Americans is OK.

 

It could take years before stem cell research will help with Alzheimer's, MS, and Parkinson's. Why start now? (Thanks, "Daily Show.")

 

Republicans don't wince at Bushisms like these

 

"I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein." -- Washington, D.C., May 25, 2004. (Let's give him a hand.) "So thank you for reminding me about the importance of being a good mom and a great volunteer as well." -- St. Louis, Jan. 5, 2004. (So that's where some of Laura's clothes went.)

 

"I'm the master of low expectations." -- Air Force One, June 4, 2003. (Any lower and we're talking chimpanzee.)

 

"There's an old saying in Tennessee -- I know it's in Texas -- that says, fool me once, shame on you. Fool me -- you can't get fooled again." -- Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002. (Isn't that song by The Who?)

 

Those of us who spent time in the agricultural sector and in the heartland, we understand how unfair the death penalty is." -- Omaha, Neb., Feb. 28, 2001. (What's kill switch on this tractor do?)

 

"Do you have blacks, too?" to Brazilian President Cardoso. -- Washington, D.C., Nov. 8, 2001. (Wow, they're everywhere.)

 

"You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test." -- Townsend, Tenn., Feb. 21, 2001. (Let's start with "My Pet Goat.")

 

"I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family." -- Nashua, N.H., Jan. 27, 2000. (Kids, don't try this at home.)

 

"They misunderestimated me." -- Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000. (Not this time, W.)

 

(Quotes compiled by Slate's Jacob Weisberg)

 

Rioters for Rove?

 

When anarchists and radicals hit New York for GOP convention, they could play into Bush strategist Karl Rove's hands. Salon's Michelle Goldberg says some agitators not Gandhian. They vow delegates will be miserable. NYPD, FBI, and Secret Service on hair-trigger alert. May resemble 1999 anti-WTO trashing of Seattle. Even worse, could resurrect 1968 Democratic convention -- Chicago police bloodied antiwar protestors, who thought public would take their side. Bad call. Richard Nixon won presidency.

 

Dan Payne is a Boston-based Democratic media consultant who has worked in John Kerry's Senate campaigns in the past but is not affiliated with his presidential campaign. He does presidential campaign analysis for WBUR radio and NPR, and his column appears regularly in the Globe.

 

© Copyright 2004 Globe Newspaper Company.

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I hope that the protesters in NYC give Bushie and the delegates hell! I wish I could be there but unfortuately I have bills to pay blah!

 

Hugs,

Greg

Ps A friend of mine came up with this wonderful idea. If and god forbid Bush wins in November we should all send him bags of pretzels....LMAO!!!

Greg Seattle Wa seaboy4hire@yahoo.com

http://www.male4malescorts.com/reviews/gregseattle.html http://briefcase.yahoo.com/seaboy4hire

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