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FCC Fines Dick Cheney $250,000 For Using The "F" Word In The Senate Floor


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I thought that this fake news story on The Daily Farce was pretty funny and creative. :+

 

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FCC Fines Dick Cheney $250,000 For Using The "F" Word In The Senate Floor

 

National News

Thursday, June 24, 2004

TheDailyFarce.com - Marcelo Lewin

 

In a press conference this morning, Michael Powell, FCC Chairman, announced that Vice President Dick Cheney would be fined $250,000 for using the 'f' word in the Senate Floor.

 

The exchange occurred last Tuesday in the Senate, when Senator Patrick Leahy said hello to Vice President Dick Cheney. They began discussing politics, religion and money, when Dick Cheney told Senator Leahy to "fuck off" or "go fuck yourself".

 

"This is a new low." Stated Michael Powell, FCC Chairman, "Our kids can't watch the Super Bowl any more, and now, they can't watch C-Span any longer either! What is this country turning into? I just don't fucking get it. God I have to fine myself now! Shit! Oh that's another fine for me! Damn!"

 

"That does not sound like language Mr. Cheney would ever use." Stated Kevin Kellens, Dick Cheney's spokesman, "He is usually more controlled. I remember the time when President Bush told Dick Cheney that maybe it was illegal to give Halliburton those contracts without first having companies bid for them in Iraq. The Vice President was very angry and told Bush that he should just be quiet and let people that know what they are doing to do their job. But not once did he use any foul language. It's just not like him."

 

In a televised press conference about the incident, Vice President Dick Cheney said "I now understand Howard Stern. I just used the 'f' word. What's the big fucking deal? I think Michael Powell is an asshole and I will not pay that fucking fine. See. I said it again. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck."

 

In other news, Howard Stern announced this morning that he will have Dick Cheney in as a special guest next week. "We have a lot in common now." Stated Howard Stern, "We are both being hounded by the FCC for our thoughts. Not only that, but I want him to come into my show so that I can call him 'Dick'. Dick Dick Dick. I like that."

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