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My current favorite joke

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A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the

Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What


all those clocks?"


St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a

Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."


"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?" "That's Mother Teresa's. The

hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."


"Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?" St. Peter

responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice,

telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."


"Where's Bush's clock?" asked the man.


"Bush's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

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