Advice Needed Regarding An Aborted Appointment with an Escort in San Francisco

[+ Axiom2001]

About three and a half weeks ago, I engaged the services of an escort who'd piqued my interest for a very long time.  He and I had chatted on RentMen; then I ceased corresponding until I was actually ready to meet him.  Well, he consented to meet; we made specific arrangements, and on the day of the appointment he had to change times; I consented and did meet him at his apartment at the changed time.  

He opened the main door to his building and ran up three flight of stairs--leaving me behind.  When I arrived at his rather open-spaced apartment, I immediately asked to go to his bathroom.  He told me its location.  I went inside and couldn't believe what my eyes witnessed.  This beautiful space was in acute disarray; everything was out of sync; I even think I had to remove stuff from the top of his toilet stool before urinating.

When I returned from the bathroom, he was a slight distance away (nude) and showing off his fabulous body.  I entered this space (lookin' like one hell of a super-war zone); he walked to the sofa and removed some items but left his lap top.  I asked for a glass of water and was obliged.  While I sat I asked him if he had the 420 that he'd stated in prior conversation the day before.  Cutie began looking all over the place for it but did not comment.

Then he began doing some other things in his space that I don't remember, but I do remember stating to him that I would not want to keep this date because things were not as I had hoped.  (I think I said something more specific but nothing alluding to his very, very, very unkempt space.).  

I got off of the sofa and walked toward the door, but prior to that, I keenly remembered his standing in front of me a slight distance away, naked and revealing the most gorgeously sculptured ass that I have ever seen and or had.  I made it to the door and stood when he said, "I'll do it for free."  I thanked him but still declined, for I had difficulty believing what I had just heard.

I went down the stairs being upset with my actions and thinking about how I let one's acute living environment affect me.  After seeing and being involved in that space, I LOST interest; I would NOT have enjoyed myself or be into him.

After I arrived back to my auto, my phone received a barrage of texts from him.  At one point while I drove the city streets of San Francisco back to my hotel, I sent a text; unfortunately the intended text did not go to him; it went to one of my friends, for I'd clicked on the wrong number.  (I briefly discussed non specifics with my friend, for although we've been the best of friends for over 30+ years,  he doesn't know that I have engaged the services of escorts, for I've never discussed it with him.)

...returned to the hotel and had a difficult time getting to sleep.  I continued to ponder the situation, for I felt and still feel that I did NOT do right by him since he was outs of the quoted fee.

Two or three days later, I continued to think about Zef and what had transpired, so I placed two Benjamin Franklins that I'd covered inside of an envelope and sent to his address as Resident of...In the lower left corner I had written ATTENTION: Zef.  Well, today, 11.26.2022, his letter and fee were returned to me.

I am upset, for I am a man of principle; I had wanted him to have his quoted fee regardless of how I had responded, for I know he needed it.  Since he's banned me from contacting him via Rentmen, I have no way to resend what he did not receive at the appointed time. 

I sent a brief account of this to the Rentmen managers and am awaiting their response.  In the meantime, I write here to seek advice from fellow forum members.  In other words, is there anything else that I can do so Zef can obtain what he'd initially requested?  I can't contact him, for he has banned me from obtaining his ad, etc. at Rentmen.

 

Edited November 27, 2022 by Axiom2001

[+ nycman]

Move on. 

[+ DrownedBoy]

Sounds like he has his own set of principles, since he returned the money. Forget about it.

[Pittlookalike]

My god. Forget the episode.  

[+ sf westcoaster]

Put it in the experience column and move on!

[Whatsupandstuff]

move on . plenty of other fish out there 

[BuffaloKyle]

I echo all the other responses. Move on. One other note is that's why I prefer to host at my place or get a hotel. I'm usually not comfortable in someone else's house or apt.

[ketut]

don't lose anymore sleep over this, move on

[Ali Gator]

If you still feel you owe him the money, make a donation to a gay man's charity. Then you're done with the situation 100 per cent. 

[+ purplekow]

It seems he does not want the money.  If you want to make one more try, you could go to his place and put the money under his door.  From the condition of his apartment, he may not find it any time soon, but in any case, you would have made the effort.

I must admit, I do not think clutter would have bothered me to the extent that it bothered you , enough so to turn down a freebie. . He did seem more than ready and able to hold up his end of the deal, so paying him before you left would have been the appropriate thing to do.  It might have been a bit bold but you might have suggested that the disarray in his apartment is distracting to you and if he wanted to complete the entire deal, he could return with you to your hotel.  

You have every right to feel that you did not do right by him. But as others have said, he has the right to refuse to give you a way to buy a clean conscious, apparently that is a mess with which he wants you to live.  

[+ azdr0710]

did the returned mail appear to be because it was "undeliverable" or did it appear he intentionally wanted it as "return to sender"? 

[BaronArtz]

I have a very dissenting view on this.

For $200 in SF, what were you expecting?  A suite at the Four Seasons?

Some of the hottest sex I ever had was with sculpted guys in 'Bohemian' apartments in NYC.  Are you there to fuck, or to have a critical review of the wallpaper?

I think you missed an amazing opportunity.

[BaronArtz]

Is this the guy you are referring to?

Zef - Pornstar Performer, Rentboy, Gay Massage in San Francisco, CA | RentMen

[Lazarus]

PNP…that should have been a red flag. I would just move on. 

[Boink]

2 hours ago, BuffaloKyle said:

 that's why I prefer to host at my place or get a hotel. I'm usually not comfortable in someone else's house or apt.

I couldn't agree more. And if the provider has a real nice place, I'd feel guilty about messing it up. Either way, I feel uncomfortable invading a stranger's domain (at least until I get to know him a little.)

[tennisjock]

I don’t mind going to a providers apartment but I do look for hidden cameras etc when I first walk in . I had one guy giving me a massage years ago in weho and i heard a noise above us and opened up my eyes to see an eye looking down at us from the ceiling air vent .. i got the f out of there so fast and never returned!!!

[harlow]

My goodness what did I just waste my time reading…just forget this dude and move on. What would’ve been helpful is a link to his profile so we all could get a heads up. 

[+ Axiom2001]

I thank everyone who addressed my concern.  ...most appreciated.  Now I'm addressing a few concerns of some posters who took their time to ask a few questions.

[+ Axiom2001]

16 hours ago, harlow said:

My goodness what did I just waste my time reading…just forget this dude and move on. What would’ve been helpful is a link to his profile so we all could get a heads up. 

I attempted to type ZEF's link into my initial post; unfortunately since he'd blocked me-- it would NOT work at this site either.

[+ Axiom2001]

19 hours ago, azdr0710 said:

did the returned mail appear to be because it was "undeliverable" or did it appear he intentionally wanted it as "return to sender"? 

My letter was returned via the post office, for the yellow sticker "RETURN TO SENDER, NOT DELIVERABLE, etc. accompanied it. 

[+ Axiom2001]

20 hours ago, BaronArtz said:

Is this the guy you are referring to?

Zef - Pornstar Performer, Rentboy, Gay Massage in San Francisco, CA | RentMen

Yes, that is he.  He's blocked me, so I can't see anything on my computer in reference to him.   I clicked on what you posted only to see the blocked symbol and words.

Edited November 27, 2022 by Axiom2001

[+ Axiom2001]

20 hours ago, BaronArtz said:

I have a very dissenting view on this.

For $200 in SF, what were you expecting?  A suite at the Four Seasons?

Some of the hottest sex I ever had was with sculpted guys in 'Bohemian' apartments in NYC.  Are you there to fuck, or to have a critical review of the wallpaper?

I think you missed an amazing opportunity.

In the bevy of text messages that he sent to me while I drove from his place, he'd mentioned that he'd reduced his fee for me from $300 to $200.  

I had a booked room at a hotel on Union Square but chose to meet him at his place.  If the space had been conducive for me mentally--hell yes I would have followed through, for he was one friggin' hot man.  I would not have been able to have performed well with him due to all of the unbelievable acute, acute mess.

 

Edited November 27, 2022 by Axiom2001

[tennisjock]

Time to just move on as sounds like the address was wrong on the envelope But for me if a provider set aside time to see me and I am the one that is not comfortable and chose to end the session even before it started I thrust the money in his hand at the door and say this won’t work for me and leave. Just saying 

[+ glutes]

Don't return to the scene of the crime for Heaven sakes.

Move on.

[nycbystander]

You should have paid him the full fee before you left. His only asset is time. Time he committed to you he could not commit to another client, therefore he may have forgone income to accomodate you. Really bad manners on your part.